Lonely for no reason

[Woodstock93]

I'm really nervous about posting because I've never done something like this. I've always had anxiety and it was always looked down upon. Until I spoke to some of my closest friend and I realised I'm not alone however I still feel lonely. I was in a relationship where I was always manipulated and never realised. I made the mistake of thinking us being engaged was going to make things better because we were together for 6 years and then I bought a house he was supposed to share with me. We moved in together and 2 weeks later I found out he was speaking to 6 other females. I never felt so down, is it me? Am I just that bad to be with? I acted like I was strong and my friends and family always commended me on being so strong for leaving him. And I agree I was strong for leaving him because not everyone can but I still feel so weak that I have a problem. I was angry and annoyed at him a lot because I didn't have what I craved. Love and attention. I have now found the love and attention, purity and pure love in someone. But why do I still have anxiety? Everyday I wake up, anxious. I'm jumpy from even a sound, I can't even drive my car without thinking something is going to happen. I'm anxious thinking my post is so long people will just think, shut up you're an idiot. I dont know what to do anymore 😔

[Agora1]

Hi Woodstock93 and Welcome to this amazing forum. You have found a safe and

nonjudgmental site where we treat each other with respect. We understand what

it's like to deal with Anxiety and how it can and does destroy our lives. In sharing

with others going through the same thing, you will not feel so alone and may get

some answers to your worries.

I personally think your anxiety is continuing through this relationship because

you haven't let go of what happened to you last time. The "what ifs" of anxiety

are coming along for the ride this time around. You must learn to let go of past

experiences or they can end up hurting the present one.

I'm glad you are here with us. You will find many others who can relate to you.

I wish you well with your new love. xx

[Woodstock93 in reply to Agora1]

I really appreciate your response, I wasn't expecting replies so soon! Thank you;, you're entirely right

[peaceandfaith]

Hi! I highly recommend therapy not psychiatrist just yet unless you want to take pills but actual therapy where they can help you dig deep to see if there is something triggering/lingering in you from the past. I had a bf for 4 years and when we ended I felt horrible because he brought his new girl with him to pick up stuff from my house.. he treated me like he didn’t know me anymore it was bad and I ended up jumping into another relationship 2 months after and had trust issues and anxiety and just unresolved pain inside.

[Woodstock93 in reply to peaceandfaith]

I think you're entirely right, it's just actually going through with that action and taking the step but yes definitely. Good to know there's people that actually understand what I'm going through. I hope all works out for you as well x

[peaceandfaith in reply to Woodstock93]

Yes I’m glad I can help you through my experience I am finally reaching a level of peace and happiness with myself it took longer than I wanted but it’s passing

[TheCoalMiner in reply to peaceandfaith]

How did you reach that point of peace. please share the road you took

[peaceandfaith in reply to TheCoalMiner]

Ok so a few things: I Started seeing a therapist once a week. They offer online therapy as well. Make sure the person you find is willing to help you in a way that doesn’t feel like she’s telling you what to do etc. Ok so let me go back a little I remember when I got really bad I decided I need to take pills for anxiety/depression and that was my biggest fear so you could imagine how much higher the anxiety got every time I was fighting myself should I take it or not. Like it was severe fear.. but anyways I finally decided to take it when I felt nothing else was working (this is before I found my therapist that I love) so I started on small dosage of citalopram 5mg I’m super small too btw. So it did make me feel kinda better when it came to depression but it spiked my anxiety the first week for 2 days and then I became weird and I felt like I wasn’t able to express myself etc. Any who I got off of them due to still being afraid and all that.

When I was off I felt more normal again because I realized I didn’t have to be so afraid of the pill since I’m still alive and slowly getting better. I learned that my brain can heal and that I’m not doomed Forever in that feeling. THIS IS IMPORTANT knowing that this too shall pass. I also reached out to friends and became more open about my experience and the ones that love you will support and check up on you. It’s important to allow friends to help/family/church to distract from our worries. Choose to FOCUS on things you know could make you happy even if it doesn’t right away.. like I made a rock playlist that somehow helped me to feel. My friends would drive me to where I needed to go so I wasn’t alone. I stayed at my parents for a few weeks when I was at my worst. Basically don’t do this all alone but if you have to just keep reminding yourself that this will pass and when you are feeling more like yourself I want you to start implementing these things into your life:

Drinking lots of water

Yoga/meditation/go to church or

Join a community of uplifting people like connect groups or anything that focuses on positivity and where you can express yourself.

(These actually help so much)

Having people pray for me and give me hope really helped me to start healing emotionally too.

Drink chamomile tea I love it it’s calming

Eat healthier (gut is second brain)

If you can sweat/workout!! It helps me with depression!

Take daily vitamins! I use gummies

Listen to your body. If you need to lay down lay down if you need to get off the phone get off the phone if you need to walk away from talking to someone say sorry not feeling well and leave. Then cry and feel the pain and remember YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

If you need to find distractions

Find healthy ones but do it, fight for your happiness try not to stay in your head

All day because remember worrying will not fix it. DAILY STEPS toward a back to normal life will help. It may not feel easy trust me I know but just baby steps. Each month will be a better month and when you are down just remember there is always help.

I might have to make a youtube about my experience because It was CRAZY but I’m so happy I’m able to write about it from a diff perspective being in a much better state of mind now.

The key is to Really try not freak out more when you are feeling the feelings of anxiety weather they be physical or mental because it will not help the situation remember that.

[jessiem]

Unfortunately, when we’ve been anxious for so long, it’s going to take time for it to switch off. It doesn’t go overnight. You’re still thinking “what if” which in its self keeps anxiety going. I would recommend a site that helps with anxiety/worry cci.health.wa.gov.au/ I would also recommend a book called Overcoming Anxiety by Helen Kenerley and The Worry Cure by Robert Leahy. Hope you find some peace soon.

[Woodstock93 in reply to jessiem]

Amazing recommendations, thank you for your response. Really thank you!

[jessiem in reply to Woodstock93]

PS if you go to the site I mentioned - click on the area for clinicians

[jessiem]

You’re welcome - they really helped me.