Anxiety over whether I have ocd

[Sugarplum1811]

Hi there,

I’ve suffered from anxiety for a while now but I never thought I could be suffering from OCD. And right now after reading the symptoms I think I might have it instead of just general anxiety.

I stumbled upon Homosexual OCD when I was starting to question my sexuality (even though I know I am straight) I thought it was my general anxiety making me think to the extreme about questioning. I read about HOCD which is basically obsessive thoughts about thinking your a different sexual orientation and then the compulsiveness comes from trying to convince yourself that you’re not by looking at pics of guys/girls and seeing who you’re attracted to and even ignoring guys/girls that your friends with. I got scared and anxious when I read this cause I thought this could be me, even though I know I am straight, I just couldn’t convince myself at that point and tried to do things like look at pictures of guys and ask myself if I’m sexually attracted or not. Which I then realised was a sign of HOCD. But now I think I have managed to convince myself again but am stressing/fearing over actually having OCD.

I looked into OCD itself and found I have a lot of similar symptoms, like the intrusive thoughts. I have managed most of the time to allow my intrusive thoughts to come and go but sometimes they really get to me and I end up having to talk to a friend or my boyfriend to feel less anxious, they tend to then go away but sometimes can come back but I forget about them again.

I don’t know if I have OCD but I am scared and now obsessing over whether I have it or not and then proceed to catastrophise the situation by thinking if I do have it then I would have to drop out of med school, end my relationship, end my friendships.

I should probably add that I don’t have any kind of rituals and neither any obsessions with germs or cleanliness or checking that the oven is off etc. I’ve actually left the oven on plenty of times! My bf has to remind me sometimes.

I really need some clarity as to whether I do suffer from it or again it’s just me overthinking things and letting my anxiety get in the way. Any opinions on my situation, I would greatly appreciate. Thanks.