intense dissociative episodes

Ugh, lately my derealization has amped up a bit and now I'm full on dissociating sometimes and it's so scary. It's like I'm here but I'm not here and I'm me but I'm not me. It's hard to see and think. I really really hate this feeling and always think I'm going to go crazy. I'm wondering if maybe I'm developing something besides anxiety and depression. I mean, I recognize that I feel "crazy" and that I am behaving and perceiving things abnormally. TW: I've been having s******l thoughts lately too. I don't want to die I just want to make it stop.

[Sallyderek]

Oh my word please go and see someone as I just must be awful to be having suicidal thoughts. When my anxiety was chronic I used to feel I was looking through an opaque window at my life but I was sitting on the outside watching in.What meds are you on for your anxiety xx

[Hidden in reply to Sallyderek]

Hi! Thank you for responding. The thoughts aren't constant but I'm not as afraid of them as I used to be which kind of scares me. I'm seeing a therapist and she knows about this, and I'm on Prozac, Buspar and Xanax. I really want to get off the Xanax though because I've heard it can actually make your mental health much worse in the long run and I feel like it's definitely done that to me. I know exactly what you mean by that feeling. I can't stand it. How are you feeling now?

[Mike7777 in reply to Hidden]

Btw your doc wouldnt prescribe your xanax if its going to hurt you in the long run. Plenty of people take that. Whats your dose?

[Sallyderek in reply to Hidden]

Hi Sweet. You therapist should know that Prozac can make you suicidal as they did to my husband after becoming disabled and my best friend. Ask to change onto something else and see how you get along. If your seeing a therapist because you are struggling with your past then I would recommend Rewind therapy as its amazing...Human givings is another name for it xxxx

[Plainejane]

I experince this at times as well. Its really hard asking yourself if you're okay, and then trying to ground yourself to feel better. I listen to 'the anxiety coaches podcast' when I go running, getting outside moving about helps as well as trying to practice the various technics she gives on the podcast. I'm not on any medication, though when I've been at my worst I wish I was. Medication is always a personal choice and in my opinion its better if you can work your way away from the meds to work with your anxiety (all of course planned with your doctor if you want 👍)to a manageable level. Everyone's struggle is a little different and I know you can push through you're strong! Dont ever give up! What helps me is going outside taking deep breaths and getting in contact with nature, either going for a walk in the park or going to the beach. Distancing myself from dwelling on bad thoughts recognizing them but letting them go. It's really hard, but we can do it! I hope your day gets better! And you're wanted and valued 😊

[Mike7777]

I have experiences the same as you have. But honestly the meds could be having side effects. I had to get off all of them except benzos. But i still have these feelings daily.