Dreading my birthday party tomorrow

[Lindsey14]

I thiught it was gonna be fun at first now I'm not so sure. It started to go from fun to not when one of my friends couldn't come cause she went to Florida, next was a couple of friends were busy this weekend. Now one friend can't go and another never got an answer from her parents. Now its just 5 family members and 1 friend going. I guess it kinda makes me feel like a loser and that no one like me.....kinda feeling down rn.

[hypercat54]

Oh I can understand that as I have been there too! I have always avoided birthday parties coz of the possibility of that happening. When friends asked me if I wanted one I said no coz my fear is that hardly anyone would turn up and I would feel like Billy no mates!

I remember on my 21st birthday when I hadn't been in my area long. I had made 2 'friends' to go out with. Then the first one cancelled then the second one. I felt awful and spent my 21st birthday alone on my bedsit crying my eyes out. I never told my family coz I didn't want their pity.

I determined then that I was going to make sure things were different in the future and my big birthdays were always going to be fantastic - and they have been! Every last one of them.

Your family seem supportive and nice and at least one friend is going, so go and enjoy yourself. 17 seems like a long time ago to me. Make sure that on your 18th birthday (a big one) that you make all the arrangements well in advance so your friends know and make their other plans around it.

Happy birthday for the weekend. x

[Lindsey14 in reply to hypercat54]

Thank you very much, how did your parties get bigger?

[hypercat54 in reply to Lindsey14]

Well on my 30th I was at Uni and we were all invited back to a mutual friends who made soufles and with lots of drink it was wonderful.

On my 40th I was working and they did a big surprise do at work complete with cake and a stripperogram (which I hated). Then we all went back to the pub I played darts for and everyone was there, including the whole team and work and social friends. The landlady did a big spread. More cakes etc. Totally unexpected!

On my 50th I was living for a few years in a different area and had made a great group of mates. They said do you want a party and I said no - just us mates pub crawling. We had a fantastic time and everyone reverted to type We ended up back at a mates house and we were sitting on her kitchen floor raiding her fridge. She hadn't gone to M & S recently so we told her off.... Never stopped laughing. What a night!

On my 60th I wanted to go away to London and despite some dropping out I made it with 2 friends. Again I had a great time and actually spent some time in the pub I had had my 40th party in! Wonderful. x

[Starrlight in reply to hypercat54]

You are an amazing lady Hypercat. Your life sounds full of nice adventures.

[hypercat54 in reply to Starrlight]

Ha I wish! xx

[Starrlight in reply to hypercat54]

I think u r amazing and I’m usually right 😉

[Lindsey14 in reply to hypercat54]

Thanks for sharing <3

[EleanorRose]

I am totally with you, I’d hate this situation and I have had similar. I often look to my birthdays with dread - not something I particularly enjoy and I know a lot of people are similar.

My 18th birthday was a disaster, it snowed heavily, people couldn’t make it, various other things happened. I was still crying about it months later.

I, like Hypercat, resolved I was going to make all ‘big’ birthdays special after that. My 21st birthday I had a party with friends, among other things, it was alright but still fairly anxiety inducing. I’m almost 30 and have decided for my 30th birthday I am going to make it special by completing a bucket list of ‘thirty new things’ in the year of my 30th birthday - something that isn’t reliant on other people.

Birthdays can be tough, especially when you have anxiety, but I hope you’ve managed to enjoy your day Happy Birthday.

[Lindsey14 in reply to EleanorRose]

Thank you so so much

[Leighakay]

Don't feel down stuff like this happens. Its life and people get busy. Just be thankful for those who do shoe up and are there for you. Don't focus on who didn't show. I hope you have a great time! God bless you!