Anxiety through the roof

[Snowpaw]

Has wbc done in April. Had it done 3 times so far. Had anxiety attacks each time. My WBC has been 16 and this last one 17. I’m terrified it’s leukemia. Online says emotional stress can raise wbc. But I don’t know how high. All I’m doing is trying to sleep so I’m not obsessing over it. I’m a wreck. I’m trying to keep

Positive by thinking it could be my stomach or throat because I’ve been having horrible acid and gas. Burping after I eat or acid. I’m hoping that’s why it’s high. Since that’s an inflammation? I don’t know. I’m just scared. My husband works from 7:30 until 5/6 and I’m

Here alone. I don’t have anyone and it leaves so much space to obsess and worry.

I lost my mom not long ago. I used to talk to her 2-3 times a day. Now I have no one.

I just wish I had some reassurance that it could be something other than cancer.

[PanicGirl]

How SnowPaw. I'm am sorry about your Mom. I have lost many people in the last few years and am alone too. I assume WBC is White Blood Cell count?

[Snowpaw in reply to PanicGirl]

Hello

Thank you. And yes. White blood cell count.

[PanicGirl in reply to Snowpaw]

Any kind of infection can cause white blood cell count to go up. You are likely just worrying because of your Mom's death and being alone. My Dad died 4 years ago, my youngest brother 3 years ago, several nephews, and my last cousin on my Dad's side. Plus I'm divorced and no kids so I am totally freaked out about being alone. And scared of dying or getting sick and not being about to afford to take care of myself.

[Snowpaw in reply to PanicGirl]

I understand how you feel. I have a 7 year old. I moved to

The U.K. awhile back. I never made any friends. But mostly due to my anxiety. Everything and everyone I know is in the states. So

It’s really difficult here now. My

Mom

Used to come visit me every year and I go

To the states every summer for a few weeks.

[PanicGirl in reply to Snowpaw]

I'm am also in a different area than where I came from. Out in the country. I have discovered that I am not a country girl AT ALL. I wanted to go back to my hometown in the city, but things have not worked out for me to do so. I feel extremely isolated. I have been having a hard time getting a job, and that worries me too. My mom's cancer has gotten extremely serious and that stresses me out too. All these changes in the last few years have sent me straight into panic mode. What area us the US are you from? East, West, Mid??

[Snowpaw in reply to PanicGirl]

Upstate New York. About 2 hours from the city

[Snowpaw in reply to PanicGirl]

I’m sorry for your losses. My heads all over the place. Sorry I didn’t send my condolences first.

[PanicGirl in reply to Snowpaw]

Thank you! No worries about that though. I'm luckily not in my panic attack right now. That was 4 am this morning until about 5 am. I needed someone to talk to and no one was awake on Facebook, and that's when I joined this group.

[Snowpaw in reply to PanicGirl]

Same here. With the time differences it’s hard to talk to anyone back home. I’m 5 hours ahead of them.

[PanicGirl in reply to Snowpaw]

So it's 7:28 am here and 12:28 pm there. Lunch time for you? When I have my panic attacks in the morning it's probably about when your husband leaves for work.

[Snowpaw in reply to PanicGirl]

Mine are random. No set time. I usually trigger one when

Thinking about being ok and not triggering one. it’s awful. Funny in a way but awful.

[Snowpaw in reply to Snowpaw]

I’m not a city person. I come from the country bumpkin Catskill mountains from a little town/village called Catskill. I miss it so much. I miss the mountains/ forest/ the wild life, fishing, camping etc. but I’m in a situation where my husband won’t try to live there because he’s worried about medical etc. and it’s put a strain on our relationship. I just have so much going on. Losing my mom, my sister disowned me because she didn’t get everything she wanted from my moms estate, there was 4 of us involved and she just didn’t seem to understand that it had to be done fairly and equally. Her and my niece I gave them everything they wanted. They even got 10 thousand dollars where as me and my brother took a few things. I took 4 Xmas ornaments, a bear shaped Avon bottle and a broken ring I’m going to try and get fixed. My brother took a china closet. I have my sister and niece pearl necklace and a diamond ring each plus all the costumes jewelry old coins and all gold and silver jewelry all the stuff that was my moms and our grandmas stuff and yet she was still not happy. The whole thing was stressful and then to come back here after all that and deal with the sadness I feel here. Everything hit me at once and my anxiety has come back full

Force. I can’t even go

Outside without feeling light headed and like I’m

Going to fall down or something. I was doing good for so long then about 2 months ago it’s all gone down hill.

[PanicGirl in reply to Snowpaw]

I'm sorry. Catskills are in New York, correct? I'm in WV mountains now. I recently broke up with a man I was engaged to and rented a house in the country. Now I'm still at his house because 1) I am still unpacking stuff at new house and 2) I did not think this would be an issue at all, but I'm totally freaked out about sleeping in country home by myself. Talk about screwed up.

[Snowpaw in reply to PanicGirl]

Yea. Catskill, New York. Are you afraid of animals or just not having a lot of people nearby? You could try joining an MMO. Online multiplayer game. Always someone on no matter the hour and always someone in voice chat. I used to play world of Warcraft but at the moment I can’t because where we are renting until we find a new house. There’s no telephone. So with out the net for the moment. And with online gaming especially WOW you meet people from every where. And most of them are slot of fun to chat with. Plus the gaming part occupies your mind. It’s anothet outlet to have a social life if you have trouble meeting people other ways or aren’t comfortable joining groups like crafting groups or what ever.

[PanicGirl in reply to Snowpaw]

I'm afraid of not having people and OMG everyone hates this....but I am used to traffic. I miss all the cars and places and things. There's hardly any cars or people. Or lights. I've been unpacking my stuff and the cows moo all the time. I might try games. I need to be studying, but I'm not. I am also pre- menopause and that does not help one bit. It's harder to concentrate on work or studying something.

[Snowpaw in reply to PanicGirl]

Look up world of Warcraft. Or something similar. I only play wow so I don’t know what other ones could be fun. Warcraft is a subscription based, I think it’s maybe 10 dollars a month? I’m

Not sure since I Paid the EU sub. But there’s fortnight which I think a lot of people play. So I’ll guess they have voice chat. Where you live now are you surrounded by woods or just on a road where only a few houses are? You could get a scanner. That makes slot of noise and keeps you in the know about what the cops and fire department are up to.

[PanicGirl in reply to Snowpaw]

I'm in farmland. I'm not worried about crime or the animals. Just about the quiet and the dark and being by myself. I couldn't find a home in the little town that would allow my small dog, so I ended up renting the country home. I would have just went back to VA but my Mom has the cancer and I felt too guilty to leave the state where she is. Hopefully I can get myself to just concentrate on studying. And start doing some work and physical exercise to get myself tired. And taking my vitamins again. My hair has been falling out and I don't know if it's from stress, the pre-menopause or some disease. LOL I know, not funny, but makes me laugh. I'm also scared of the doctor. LOL

[Snowpaw in reply to PanicGirl]

Haha I hate going to the doctor and dentist. And I hate flying. Are you on a lease at the rental? Maybe you can look for a better spot and get out to a busier area.

[PanicGirl in reply to Snowpaw]

Yes, I am on a lease. I am thinking about looking for a roommate or a way to get out of the lease. I have sooooo much stuff though. I just need to sell some of it. It's three bedroom and I have all three bedrooms full.

[PanicGirl in reply to PanicGirl]

Also I thought for sure I was going to get a job 5 minutes away from it but I failed medical for my vision. My vision is 20/25 and it has to be 20/20. If the optician can correct it, then I might still get the job.

[Snowpaw in reply to PanicGirl]

Maybe tell them you need to be closer to your mom and find a 1/2 bedroom and get a storage unit for your stuff.

[PanicGirl in reply to Snowpaw]

Ok. Thanks for the advice. I hope you are feeling somewhat better now. I wish I could help.

[Snowpaw in reply to PanicGirl]

You’re welcome. Thank you for listening. I hope you get everything sorted out and in a more comfortable place for yourself. I appreciate the chat.

[PanicGirl in reply to Snowpaw]

Thank you. I appreciate it too. I hope you have a peaceful rest of the day.