My panic attacks lately: I know I mentioned... - Anxiety Support

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My panic attacks lately


I know I mentioned ive been anxious all day but my "panic attacks" have been out of this world. When Im having them I feel like my soul has left my body, the world has become dark and scary and I have NO control over myself. I watch myself pace and cry and scream to my boyfriend to please take me to the hospital but the real me is somewhere else. My brain feels completely numb and cottony and I can barely truly feel the "panic" but its happening and i know it's there. I beg and cry and plead to go to the hospital every day. I have had panic attacks many times but I have never felt like I can't control myself. Is this depersonalization? Ive never experienced that before, only derealization. I also get very very dizzy and cannot make myself do anything to distract because my brain feels like mush. During these moments I am so afraid I am going to have a seizure. They changed my lexapro to effexor at the hospital but I was on effexor before and this didn't happen. I want this to stop. I have started begging god. I don't feel like I'm in the real world at all anymore. I am so scared I'm going to be put in a mental hospital again. It was the scariest thing in my life and i think it traumatized me. Am i doomed to just go mad? Is there nothing I can do? I never imagined it could get this bad. Maybe I'm becoming psychotic?

23 Replies

Hi this does sound like dissociation or derealisation. The first is when you dissociate from your feelings though you know what is happening. The 2nd is when you feel that everything round you is unreal.

Whilst these are very scary they are not going to kill you - that is the first thing to understand. You need to do some more research on this and there is lots of info online. Learn some breathing exercises and teach them to your bf so he knows how he can help.

Are you currently seeing a counsellor? If not you need to and to start addressing the reasons for this. x

I am seeing a counsellor but I havent been able to see her for the past few weeks. I know its dissociation but no matter what i do i cant make it stop!! I'm seeing a psychiatrist but the meds dont work for me! xanax calms me down sometimes. im also losing time! like time will either go really slow or really fast and i hardly remember how i got from one place to another.

What you have to do is work out where it comes from and address that. For example I do this but not so much for many years now because I have addressed my issues. It is just your mind protecting itself from feeling very painful emotions otherwise we would all go loopy loo!

I do think if you can't see your therapist for a while that you should see your doctor immediately and ask his/her advice as you do need urgent treatment. In the meantime try and remember it will pass and it will not harm you. Just go with the flow and let it happen rather than fighting it. Have a look at mindfulness which teaches you to live in the present. There is lots of info online about it.

When we feel like this we often over breathe which causes dizziness and makes it worse. Breathing exercises will give you a tool to use against the panic. x

Thank you very much for your fast and thoughtful reply. Im seeing a doctor ASAP. I also apparently have a high TSH level so I'm seeing an endocrinologist too.

Oh mine is low. Are you on the thryoid site? I am borderline under active and my doctors have reluctantly given me the lowest dose of levy, but I still have all the symptoms so am going back next week. x

Elfje in reply to someone5673

I taken Xanax too

But it's hard word and a process

A doc some save place now chould be ok

But don't stay in a hospital

Just talk and cry it out


Elfje in reply to someone5673

Dissosation is a self defense mechanism

You know what helps?

A lemon

Or ice ice cold whater

Dearest someone, you are not going mad, you are not becoming psychotic but there

is something going on deep within you. Possibly a life situation that is being interrupted

by your subconscious as dangerous to your mind and body. I was in your position at one

time so I can understand that feeling like you are losing control of reality. Rather than

running to the ER each time, I decided to admit myself to the psych unit. I wanted to

walk in and not be carried in on a stretcher. Being in the psych ward is intense. It's

about digging deep and finding yourself again. I choose no visitors, no phone calls

during the 6 weeks I was in the hospital. My psychiatrist also used that time to try

different medications and dosages on me while being watched over.

I admit that it does take you back for a few days. It's not the most pleasant place to be

but it is safe, it has structure (which we need) and help is there 24/7. It might be what's

best for you right now. Who is controlling your medication at this time? A psychiatrist

or a GP? It does make a difference. I agree with hypercat in that you do need to address

the issues that are causing this uproar in your life. Medication is just a method to calm

you down enough so that therapy can be used in getting you to go forward again.

You know that you are safe here on this site. You're never judged or looked down upon.

You are struggling right now. As my psychiatrist use to tell me, like a person in the middle

of the ocean not being able to see land, so lost. This will not last forever. It's a matter

of finding what will work best for you whether it be medication or therapy. I'm always here if you need to talk. I will walk beside you until you can walk alone. xx

JAYnLA in reply to Agora1

Brava, Agora. Perfectly put.

Agora1 in reply to JAYnLA

Thanks Jay, I guess that the cost of that 6 week stay was worth it. :)

The 3 meals a day were out of this world as well x

someone5673 in reply to Agora1

Hello Agora, I'm seeing a psychiatrist and a cousellor, but the counsellor is out of town right now. I would really really prefer not to go to a psych ward. :( It's too much for me, I could barely leave my room.

Agora1 in reply to someone5673

I understand someone. I was ready when I made the decision. Actually, I asked

my doctor to admit me. It will only work if we are able to put ourselves into it

100%. In-patient is not for everyone. It's okay, you can get the help you need

on a one to one basis just as well. xx

Hidden in reply to Agora1

Thank You I’m

so learning new insights so too as someone said very Eloy put dory , ex nurse oh Thank You 🙏 and fantastic Community!!!!!

Hidden in reply to Agora1

Eloquently put together! Spellcheck was play up!

Agora1 in reply to Hidden

:) xx

My heart goes out to you. Many years ago when I was in a job working 15 hour days ( not joking) which was also not suited to my skill level ( thus 15 hour days), I started to experience the things you are talking about. Lost 20 pounds, dizzy all the time, had to wear sunglasses everywhere because I was always crying, felt shaky and out of body experiences, felt like a walking zombie. Constant panic attacks. They put me on Clonazepam which is similarlar to Xanax. Here are the differences

It did help, but the panic didn’t completely resolve until I tried to quit my job. My boss talked me out of it, but I set some boundaries for what I would and wouldn’t do. The lack of feeling “ in control” caused my spiraling. Like the others said, if the Xanax isn’t working keep trying until you get some meds that will calm you enough that you are able to look at the underlying cause of the panic. Is it your relationships? Were you abused in some way? Are you afraid of the direction your life is going career wise or some other way? Is there a sickness in your family? These are questions to be answered to yourself, I’m not asking you to answer them on the forum. If there are no underlying emotional causes then it could be physical as others have suggested, or hormonal. If hormonal, you would need to see a good gynecologist. Also a holistic or integrative doctor might be better than a regular GP because you might be lacking certain nutrients, and need supplementation or a certain diet. Most GP aren’t schooled in these types of imbalances. Hang in there. There is light at the end of the tunnel. That was 10 years ago for me. Since then, I’ve only had a handful of panic attacks and after studying meditation and mindfullnees I’m able to stop them within a short time of them starting. You have the power within you and the fact that you are seeking medical attention shows that!

someone5673 in reply to Zazzel

Thank you for taking the time to write this, this is very uplifting. (: I'm so glad you're feeling better.

Hi so sorry you're going through this , i absolutely 100 % understand how you feel as i was exactly like you 3 years ago.

It is definitely without a doubt depersonalization and derealization that you're experiencing .

3 years ago i had a nervous breakdown from severe health anxiety/ocd , i developed severe depersonalization and derealization and i thought i had finally gone insane.

At first i didnt know what was wrong with me untill i researched my feelings and found many things explaining depersonalization and derealization and i had every symptom.

I felt like i was not in my body , i felt like time was not happening to me , i felt like i wasnt myself , i didnt recognize myself in the mirror , i felt in a foggy dream , i felt trapped inside my head , i felt like my memories were not mine , i felt like i had not feelings anymore i was numb , i felt like my life was unfamiliar , i felt like my hands and legs were not mine , i felt like my voice wasnt mine . Gosh so many many more symptoms i just cannot remember right now , but it wss horrid and terrifying.

The good news is , it is absolutely Anxiety nothing more nothing else and it will not send you into another mental illness or make you go insane , i promise.

Depersonalization and derealization is protecting you from extreme intolerable anxiety that your brain as deceived to shut down, in a way your brain has had enough.

Depersonalization and derealization is not permanent and it goes away once your anxiety calms right down and it takes some time but thats ok because it cant hurt you at all , i promise.

Im ok now i no longer have depersonalization or derealization it does come on if my anxiety gets intolerable and it leaves when my mind calms down, im not afraid off it now , because i understand what it is ..

Read up on depersonalization and derealization , there are good books on this sub type of anxiety it helps to fully understand why its happening and once you understand its not as scary..

No one loves depersonalization and derealization but we can learn to expect the feelings and they lessen , i promise.

I hope you are ok and ot will get better anxiety is alot to deal with but it cant hurt you ...

Im proof you will not go mad from your feelings , i had every symptom of depersonalization and derealization it was soul destroying and shook my sense of self but i made it out the other end


Oh and i dont think you need a mental hospital if your anything like me it would make me worse..

Please read up on depersonalization and derealization

Message me. I am dealing with the same problems your post explained, maybe we can comfort each other in some weird way🙃x

I been like this for months since last February if I must say and I had a good month a couple days here and there I’m going on a month from not going to er and I’m proud of myself

I did check myself into a unit and it was horrible there only 3 days and I’m finally seeing a therapist after all this time cuz it was hard for me to be out places i understand exactly how u feel and it’s scary and if u need someone to talk to I’m here it’s so difficult when our body goes through this and we have no way of acting and feeling like ur not in ur body i went 3 months wirh feeling like i misses out and really was a fog but i feel with therapy and discipline we can overcome this day by day each milestone at a time

Hi. I’m so sorry you are feeling this way. I can identify with what you have written. Others have posted some really good advice and I hope this has reassured you?

I have recently read a book called “At last a life” by Paul David. It’s brilliant and I refer back to it whenever I lose focus during this journey back to health. I also read “Peace from nervous suffering” by Dr Claire Weekes. It a very old book but this lady sure knows her stuff!

You will get better but my advice would be to limit your reading to just a few books/articles/blogs. There is so much out there now it can be overwhelming and confuse your mind even more.

Good luck with your journey my lovely x

This was me 2 years ago and a lot of people from here might remember me. I also felt like my soul was leaving my body and I was watching myself from the top. Then the world became fake. I got stuck like that. I suffered a lot. But I think I told you this before, medicine helps. What have you tried? You have to keep trying until you find that medication that works. Take control and get your life back.

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