Why doesn't anything work for me?

I've been dealing with this since I was 17. I'm 23 now. Overall the trend is that it's just getting worse. I have been on 15+ meds, in just about every type of therapy there is. I've been in an inpatient and outpatient mental hospital. Group therapy. Eating healthy. Going out. Working. Meditation. Ignoring it. Of course I can't do any of these things now because it's gotten so bad. Nothing has ever helped with my anxiety even a little bit. Nothing. I have had derealisation for almost 6 years now. Imagine the world around you not feeling real for 6 years. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I think I'm just going to be like this for the rest of my life.

[o2G2o]

I don't think I've experienced proper derealisation - can you explain how you personally experience it? Is the anxiety then directly caused by the derealisation, as in, you have anxiety about being/going insane?

[o2G2o in reply to o2G2o]

I just remembered: post history. I'll read some of your other posts instead of making you have to retype everything. My bad.

[art62grammie]

As an Anorexic for forty years. I too know all about derealisation. I lived it for forty years. I was mentally ill with this horrible eating disorder. I was a prisoner within myself. I was numb to everything. That is a true Anorexic. I checked myself into outpatient treatment six years ago. I still continue every few months. I take 75mg of Zoloft daily. I have only been on the same drug for six years. I see the same doctors that I started with. They gave me life. So I am in there with you. Now that I have fought the battle to defeat my illness. I am living free. It is not easy to learn to live without my illness. Day by day I am recovering. It will be a daily process for the rest of my life. The freedom is wonderful. No more having the illness make all my choices for me. That monster has been defeated. It is worth the fight. I am in full control of my life now. At 56 I won. I stand up daily to the eating disorder and it becomes powerless. I am living for me now. I have no more derealisation feelings. I am no more just a robot existing. I am human with feelings and emotions. I eat what I choose and do as I please. It is wonderful.

[Agora1 in reply to art62grammie]

art62grammie, such an inspirational response that fits anyone struggling

with a demon on their back. You are a Warrior and claimed back what was

rightfully yours....Your Life x

Love, Agora1 xx

[Hidden in reply to art62grammie]

Thank you so much for your uplifting response. Im so happy for you. (:

[Agora1]

Dearest someone, I've seen the hard struggle you have gone through over the years

and yet never gave up. Don't do it now by accepting this as your life. That's not true.

You just haven't found the right combination of meds or the right tool in helping you

defeat your symptoms. Sometimes the situation around us is so powerful that it's

like having to walk against the wind each and every day. But even in that, you do know

that we eventually get to our destination, it just takes a little longer.

You're young and have your whole life ahead of you. Never, ever give up. I've been

where you are right now for longer than you have and yet found my way out of this

dark tunnel and into the light again. Believe in yourself as I believe in you. I know in

my heart it can be done when the time is right. I continue to follow your journey and

continue to support you. You will make it. xx

[Hidden]

Thank you Agora. <3 The only thing I know for sure is that I will never give up!! I love living too much.