Theory that I would like to hear your opin... - Anxiety Support

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Theory that I would like to hear your opinions on

masa2333 profile image
16 Replies

I was at a doctor’s yesterday. She suspected that I have PCOS or insulin sensitivity and ordered blood tests to be done for both. That was my usual gynecologist appointment.

Then I noticed something strange. I didn’t panic at all. On the contrary, I just said ‘oh okay thanks’ and moved on with my day. I didn’t google it, I didn’t obsess over it, I didn’t overthink. I just moved on and I will have those blood tests done.

Now, I was thinking about it last night. Maybe it’s uncertainity that we fear when anxious. Maybe it’s because we so strongly believe something is wrong with us because our body and mind are sending us all those weird sensations that are unfamiliar, we cannot understand them and control them. We don’t know what is wrong with us and no one is taking us for serious, so we don’t know how to solve the problem. When something is ACTUALLY wrong (I don’t count life threatening conditions here) then we are not that anxious because we know the solution to the problem and we can work on it. So is it uncertainity we all fear? Maybe think about it.

I would really love to hear from all of you.

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masa2333
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16 Replies
Amiraks7911 profile image
Amiraks7911

Definitely. Many times I think it would be a relief for a doc to just say ok yeah this is the problem so take that and you should ok. It's uncertainty. And all those serious health problems that we obsess over(heart disease, cancer...ect) holds a fear of dying and that is the ultimate uncertainty.

masa2333 profile image
masa2333 in reply to Amiraks7911

Yes you are right

Bassgirl profile image
Bassgirl in reply to Amiraks7911

So true. I agree

masa2333 profile image
masa2333

So unpleasant

Miniwheats profile image
Miniwheats

Yes, it's uncertainty that causes the fearful thoughts that cause the anxiety, and they are always about something that we fear will lead to significant loss or a lifechanging consequence. So I am not that surprised that you didn’t panic. But, you should still give yourself credit because you could have spun a story in your head that somehow connects a non-life threatening condition to the possibility of major consequence. That's the other side-effect of anxiety....it throws our otherwise good judgement off kilter. You judged well in this situation and that's a good sign.😊

masa2333 profile image
masa2333 in reply to Miniwheats

You are right, thank you 🥰 in this situation I indeed just accepted it as a possibility and no need to panic about it. Maybe my meds started kicking in or I really came to my sanity. Either way I’m so glad I did well in this situation

ChicagoGirl1961 profile image
ChicagoGirl1961

No doubt it's uncertainty that is high octane fuel for anxiety. It's all the "what ifs" in life that contribute to anxiety......I try to push the "what ifs" out of my mind and try to remember to live in the moment and enjoy it rather than worrying about what may or not happen tomorrow.

masa2333 profile image
masa2333 in reply to ChicagoGirl1961

Yes me too. Like I try to occupy myself as much as I can with other things like college or relationships or something that can “kill” my time so I don’t have time to think about “what ifs”. In the beginning it was really, really hard because I thought something will certainly happen to me and I was housebound and didn’t go anywhere or see anyone and I thought I am going to die. But with time and meds it’s getting better...I’m still not where I want to be but I am getting there :)

ChicagoGirl1961 profile image
ChicagoGirl1961 in reply to masa2333

I still get negative thoughts but as soon a I get them I immediately make a conscious choice to not think about them and push them away. When I get those what if thoughts that make you worry about what might happen I do the same thing. The thoughts still come but I never give them any merit. Meds do help but the negative thoughts still come, and we can control what we think and choose not to dwell on negatives. Our state of mind to a large degree we can control with practice. I choose to dwell on what I have accomplished and overcome despite depression and anxiety and that helps me. I used to focus on the limitations that anxiety and depression caused, but finally came to realize with a greater understanding of the illness and the proper strategy to overcome it that anxiety does not have to get in the way of living a happy and productive life. It's a daily battle but one that is well worth fighting. Be well!

Kkimm profile image
Kkimm

Hi Masa

Sorry to hear you have been unwell. I have a friend with a daughter with PCOS and it can be very unpleasant.

Really hope you have felt well enough to continue to get to some classes etc.

Be great to hear how you are getting on.

I have both my little dogs coming today so will take them on a nice long walk on the beach on my own as Pete is very busy with building a big extension on our cottage. We have had a hold up in the building work due to awaiting drawings for the foundations but it is now all on again.

Hope to hear from you soon and that it is good news on how you are feeling.

Very best wishes for your health and happiness.

Kim

masa2333 profile image
masa2333 in reply to Kkimm

Hello Kim,

I’ve been working on both my mental and physical health these past few weeks along with studying for exams.

I am basically living with my bf right now because I still have insecurities, but I do take shower regularly, wash my hair, go to the grocery store, drive a car etc...

I am at a much better place regarding panic disorder now, but I do have trouble with studying as I have zero concentration and motivation and I’m sleepy all the time. I am also very hungry too often so I end up binge eating junk food which is bad for my hormones, I know...

One good news is that my bf is getting me a dog! 🥳 it is Pug and I can’t wait to see him.

I hope you are doing well and hoping to hear from you!

Lots of love ❤️

Kkimm profile image
Kkimm in reply to masa2333

Hi Masa

I am so pleased to hear from you. It is great news that you are generally doing well and that your panic disorder has improved. That has to be really good progress!

What wonderful news that you are going to have a little dog. He will be a lovely companion for you and get you out walking everyday as he will need his walks and that will be so therapeutic for you. I have gained so much from the dogs I spend time with and they have really helped in my recovery.

We will be going on holiday for a week at the end of April and taking one of the dogs with us. She is a very gentle and calm yellow Labrador. She is so sensible she feels like the grown up in our relationship with her. Like the cockerpoos we borrow she loves to fetch a ball. When it has been on the beach and gets covered in sand, I think she does not like the feeling of it in her mouth, because she will go and wash it in the sea. She also looks for puddles to wash balls in on the lanes when we walk in the countryside. But she is not so sensible because she sometimes finds a really muddy puddle and it comes out dirtier than ever. Anyway she is great fun on holiday. We are going to Devon where there are many beautiful beaches and rocky coves, then moorland and mountain streams inland so she will have a lovely time. She loves to swim in pools or streams, but not in the sea so much unless it is very calm.

I am so pleased you are getting on with your studies even if it is hard to concentrate. I am sure it will get easier the more you do it.

I have to write sometimes for the part time committee work I do in London around 2 days a month and I found it difficult at first but I don't have any problems now.

I believe you are studying for a law degree which will be very useful for a rewarding career in the future. It must be very hard also, I am sure you will do very well.

I am still well thank you, I still get symptoms of breathlessness in the morning, which is my only remaining symptom, but continue to ignore it and get on with my day. I am finding life very rewarding. I am involved in helping to project manage the building of our big extension and it is going well. We are having a meal out with the builder and his wife and some of their friends at the weekend which we are all looking forward to. They live opposite us and have land and horses. They both ride very well and show jump. They have two rottweilers and two cats also.

My very best wishes to you and to everyone who suffers from anxiety or depression.

Kim

masa2333 profile image
masa2333 in reply to Kkimm

Hello Kim,

I am so glad to hear from you too! Thank you. I stagnate a little now, I had a mini panic attack some nights ago when I found out my boyfriend cheated on me (I posted long version of it as a new thread) but everything else feels like in place.

I got a dog and I really am falling in love with him😍 he is so playful, so cute, so smart that I am literally melting when I see him. The only problem I have is that he « does his bussiness » everywhere through the house and he won’t play with his toys.

I wish you an amazing holiday! 😊 and to get rid of all the stress and burdens you have... And to come back happier than ever! 🤞

Your dog sounds like a lot of fun😍 I’m trying to connect with as many dog owners as I can now so we could walk the dogs together and who knows, I might even meet new friends.

I am working with hope to persuade criminal lawyer career. I could already visualise myself!

I am so happy to hear you are doing well. I am so proud of you and happy to « know » someone as brave as you! I am sure your breathing problems will gradually subside also and you will be able to live life to the fullest!

Wish you all the best and thank you so much for being my friend on this crazy road. ❤️

Kkimm profile image
Kkimm in reply to masa2333

Hi Masa.

Great to hear from you. Thanks for your lovely comments.

I am so sorry to hear about your bf and have read the longer post on this also.

I am sure you will be very hurt but my advice is to give yourself time before you respond if you can. If I have got this right, it was around 18 months ago and in the early stages of your relationship. You say that he is very caring now and you are fond of his family and he of yours.

When you feel ready you could try to talk it through calmly with him and he may tell you how sorry he is. If you do not think you could talk about it calmly it may be wise to wait until you do feel able to.

You are doing so well at present I think it would set you back alot to have a big row or even a break up with him.

Given time you may be able to forgive him and learn to trust him again. It is not an unusual thing to happen and I personally am not of the view that I could never trust a partner again if they did this. We are all human and he may deeply regret it but if you go in with all guns blazing he may react as if he does not care or become angry because you looked at his phone and that may cause the problems to be made worse and lead you both to day or do things you later regret.

So glad you have your pug and love him.

They all start by doing their business in the house and need to be house trained but it can be a bit waring especially if you are in a flat and do not have a garden. It is a good idea to train them to go to the toilet when you say a special word and take them out after each meal and for lots of walks and praise them when they do it outside. We used to say "Be quick" to our dogs. I am sure you have read about how to house train them. He is no doubt more interested in you than his toys and probably will not play with them unless you play with them with him. Some dogs are never really bothered about toys.

Is he a puppy? how old is he and where did you get him from?

My very best wishes.

Kim

masa2333 profile image
masa2333

So true unfortunatelly...

Kkimm profile image
Kkimm

Hi Masa

I have been wondering how you are and hoping no news is good news.

How are things going with your boyfriend, your lovely pug and your studies.

Be great to get an update if you feel like writing.

Very best wishes.

Kim

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