My health anxiety is back and won't shift. One swollen painless tonsil for nearly a month. 4 visits to the doctor. Two rounds of antibiotics (made no difference) and despite being told by 3 separate doctors that it doesn't look like anything sinister. I'm sat here at 1.30am in extreme panic. Mind racing, heart pounding and tears flowing.
I feel like I won't relax until I've seen an ENT but my doctor seems reluctant to refer me.
At times, I think, everything will be ok, you're not going to die, soon this tonsil worry will all be a distant nightmare and you'll be worrying about something else. And when I think that I feel my entire body relax. But it literally lasts a matter of seconds before the "what if" voice kicks in and sends me straight back to panic mode.
I'm currently have CBT and so far not finding it particularly helpful.
I miss the days when anxiety was something I'd heard of but never actually experienced. I fear that anxiety might never fully leave my life...