I can't stand what I see when I look in the mirror.

[Shewill11]

Since I can remember I have had a terrible view of myself. I can't see pictures or look in the mirror without cringing. It's really bad. I see a deformed monster when I look into a mirror. It has completely ruined any relationship I have ever been in. I go into rages sometimes. I am so tired of feeling like I'm a freak. I can't go into a store or crowded place without feeling like I want to run or that everyone is laughing and joking on me.. I have tried my whole adult life to stop this behavior. Doctors, medication. You name it I have tried it. I am losing everything that I love from this. If anyone out there can give me some advice or just some empathy. I'm not trying to sit on a pity pot. I just don't know how to make it better.

[pink83737]

Hi Shewill11, I totally understand how you feel self love and acceptance is truly such a hard thing! Not just for you but for many many people. I have felt the same way you described now. I still don’t like the way I look in pictures but sometimes I like the way I look in the mirror. You just have to accept the way you look. I’m sure you are beautiful and also LIFE IS NOT ABOUT LOOKS! It’s about what kind of heart you have. I had to start realizing that. You will get through this, it’s tough but try doing some self care! Face masks, bubble baths anything that makes you feel good about yourself 🧖🏼‍♀️🛁 try not to think to much about your looks people don’t notice your insecurities as much as you see them ! You’ll be okay. We’re all gonna be wrinkly and old some day so looks really don’t matter.

[Hidden]

Hello, yes, I can certainly empathise with you. What you see though, is not what others see. Beauty is very subjective. I agree with pink83737 - most people (the people that matter) do not like or dislike someone because of their looks.

[hypercat54]

Hi don't forget what you see is not what others do. We always see our perceived faults and don't forget when you look in the mirror you are in repose. When others see you you are animated or in conversation which makes a big difference.

Also remember that you are not important enough for other people to want to spend time and energy judging or laughing at you! Why should they? They are much too concerned with their own appearance and behaviour to bother about you. Do you do this to others? I bet you don't.

I am older than you and have a sister with a bit of a bumpy nose. She has magnified this to such a degree that she always refused to live a normal life. She thinks everyone is staring at and judging her too despite treatment for her anxiety so I do understand. She has always refused relationships, lives on her own spending her life watching tv and buying stuff on the shopping channels and online. She has also been agoraphobic since she was in her 20's and now it's so bad she can't leave the house. She is very selfish and obsessed with her health to the point of thinking she is iller than everyone else. I have mild copd and never talk to her about it as she always takes over the conversation with how she is worse than me! That's rubbish but you can't convince her.

I have told you this coz I am concerned that you could end up in a similar mess. I am not saying you will but my sister has let her body dysmorphia rule and ruin her life and I don't want the same thing for you. x

[Shewill11 in reply to hypercat54]

Thank u. I don't want to miss out on life... I am working hard to change my belief systems.

[lorianxiety in reply to hypercat54]

Well said ,my sister was like that ,her life was mainly institution,she was self-obsessed ;she would spend half her time applying make-up and looking in the mirror,though its definitely a form of dysmorphia its also stems from insecurity and lacking self-esteem. your sister possibly has a personality disorder where her entire self image is consumed by ego and cannot see anyone else ,in other words she cant empathise,and too preoccupied with her self and her anxieties.,no ones as bad as her.

[hypercat54 in reply to lorianxiety]

Oh yes she was diagnosed with severe GAD when she was young and hasn't been able to work since she was in her mid 20's. I am sorry your sister is the same. I always think what a waste of a life don't you? x

[lorianxiety in reply to hypercat54]

yes,i do,though having said that I was also similar inasmuch as I couldn't go out and mix for at least 9 yrs when I was younger thought people were staring,and I became housebound;now when much older and left homeand having lived 40 miles away from (family)old fears were returning,as I went thru last year afraid my anxiety heightened and stress,just hoping ill make something of my life before I die---sorry to sound so blunt;my sister is in very sheltered housing ,clinging for the best part of her latter years to a man (alcoholic) who has no love in his heart.i hope that you can overcome your health anxiety and that you find contentment in your life.

[hypercat54 in reply to lorianxiety]

Oh I don't have health anxiety! Was this remark meant for someone else? x

[lorianxiety in reply to hypercat54]

hypercat, on reading over what you said ,I apologise I lose concentration easily think I have rambled on too much andlost the actual thread.

[hypercat54 in reply to lorianxiety]

Lol xx

[Humankind-BE_BOTH]

I too marvel at the seeming easy contentment and loving acceptance others have of themselves. It's a mystery to me and always has been.

Please keep continuing to try!! there is a positive and lasting solution out there or at least manageability

[hypercat54 in reply to Humankind-BE_BOTH]

Hi you only see what others let you see and I can guarantee everyone has their hangups about their own appearance and behaviour! It's about learning to look for the positive things about yourself and concentrate on those instead of only seeing the negative. x

[SuZQ154]

I understand. Our feelings are our feelings and even when people tell us we SHOULDN'T "feel" this way, we do. What has worked best, yet not completely, for me is focusing on helping others and reading my Bible. The Word helps me to understand I am enough, I am loved, I am worthy...even when I do not "feel" like that. SO sorry you are feeling down, just want you to know...YOU are enough, loved and worthy! Please keep posting.