In your head

How much of anxiety do you guys believe is, “all in your head?” I know there is chemical imbalances etc., but at what point does it become your default, become who you are?

[o2G2o]

All of anxiety is in your head, even the physical stuff.

[Hidden in reply to o2G2o]

Not sure that I agree with that, but thanks. I believe the physical stuff is a reaction to the mental stuff. The mental stuff becomes your norm after so long

[Beevee in reply to Hidden]

Yes. The physical symptoms are the effect of the mental stuff. In a sensitised state, the anxious mind is brilliant at conjuring up fears that simply wouldnt exist without anxiety being present. Instead of learning to go with the flow and developing a relaxed attitude towards the symptoms, sufferers make it worse by fighting to stop feeling anxious which has the opposite effect. Fighting increases the tension which is the reason people feel so many aches and pains in the walls of the muscles which they mistakenly think is something more sinister...so they panic about that...which adds more tension...which creates the very same symptoms they are fighting so hard to get rid off. And so it goes on and on. This is why acceptance works because it breaks that fear-adrenalin-fear cycle.

[Hidden in reply to Beevee]

What is the best way to start acceptance when I have been fighting it my whole life? Thank you very much for the response

[Beevee in reply to Hidden]

It is all about being ok about not feeling ok. It’s about developing an attitude of not caring too much about how you feel and exposing yourself to all those places and situations you fear and not doing anything whatsoever to stop yourself feeling anxious. It’s about losing your respect to those thoughts and feelings that may be restricting your life and taking avoidance measures. It’s about feeling the fear and doing it any way, mustering up as much acceptance as you can manage and reducing the tension and stress you put yourself under.

It helps if you understand that anxiety is not the enemy. It is your friend because it is only trying to protect you from perceived danger. It is the ultimate self protection system. Fine when we are being chased by a wild animal or having to jump out of the way of an oncoming car but it can be a bloody nuisance when it gets trigger happy because of our sensitised state.

The perceived dangers are those which you have created yourself and then magnified multiple times by anxiety. In turn, the normal reaction would be to avoid those places and situations but it is important to understand that it is the very exposure to those fears and not reacting in more fear that will teach the brain that you don’t need protecting and will stop flooding your body with adrenalin to help you escape. You see, it is the fear you add to the initial fear flash that keeps the anxiety cycle spinning round. I call these the “What ifs?” Acceptance is about turning all those What ifs into “So What!?” So What if I panic in a social situation? So what if I make a fool of myself? Do it any way, regardless of how you feel. Nothing will happen except a lot of anxious thoughts might pop into your head but choose not to listen to them because they are only trying to protect you in a situation where it simply isn’t needed.

Does this help?

[o2G2o in reply to Beevee]

This man knows what he's talking about. Listen to this man. Great explanation.

[Beevee in reply to o2G2o]

Thank you. And it’s free of charge 😊

[Agora1 in reply to Beevee]

Beevee, I think you should go on tour to the U.S.

Your responses have helped so many.

Thank you for reinforcing the fact that Anxiety doesn't

have to be a life time sentence.

[Hidden in reply to Agora1]

Both of you are absolutely Godsends!

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

You know toddt2, it's not an easy walk around the block but

when you find that it works, you've found that magic key.

Beevee tells the truth.

[Beevee in reply to Agora1]

Mainly round the state of Florida or somewhere near a ski resort ha ha 😉

[Agora1 in reply to Beevee]

Aww not Chicago where it's nice and "let's say" BRISK

[Hidden in reply to Agora1]

I’m in northern Wisconsin! It was 3 degrees Fahrenheit here this morning!

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

Oh toddt so you know what cold is

Stay warm

[Beevee in reply to Hidden]

Jeez. That’s why there are no flashers up there this time of year. Instead, they just go round describing themselves to people to stop bits snapping off.

Any snow or ski resorts?

[Hidden in reply to Beevee]

There are a few up here! Nothing too amazing. Just a lot of snow, cold and ice!

[Beevee in reply to Agora1]

I’d come and see you Agora! I have a relative who goes regularly to the Windy City on business. Played a little basketball and loved watching the Bulls in the days of Jordan, Pippen & Rodman when they were sweeping all before them. Before that I enjoyed watching the Bears with William the Refridgeorator Perry so feel that I have something of an affinity with that great city.

[uniquediamond]

I’ve been battling depression, but mainly anxiety for 12 years

I feel like my depression comes in waves, but the being anxious and nervous/overthinking has been something I battle with daily! You never fully except these daily challenges that we face, but merely learn to cope with them or try to at least, I listen to a lot of music to try and flood out those racing thoughts of doom, sometimes it works and others it doesn’t. But I’m thankful that even for a split second those thoughts disappear because it’s a sense of relief.

Our mind is a very powerful tool, and it will believe what we feed it even the physical parts! I keep telling myself that I’m ok and this to shall pass. Big hugs to you and may you find the answer within yourself, remember music may help me but sometimes it won’t help the other person. Find something that makes you smile and repeat that daily ❤️

[Hidden in reply to uniquediamond]

Thank you!

[Beevee in reply to uniquediamond]

Depression is a by product of anxiety and recommend a book called Essential Help for your Nerves by Dr Claire Weekes. The title may be different in other countries but it explains how depression develops because you are depleting your emotional reserves by your constant battle with anxiety. Dr Weekes refers to it as depletion because that is what is happening. Like a battery losing its charge. But the good news is, that battery can be fully recharged if you learn to stop fighting those anxious thoughts and feelings and go with the flow. Zero resistance, if you like. Let yourself think and feel everything and do nothing to try and change it. Recovery will gradually follow and all those symptoms you have been battling to get rid of will disappear. They are only there because you are anxious and in a sensitised state...caused by the battle being fought with yourself inside your head.

[uniquediamond in reply to Beevee]

Thank you! 💜

[Hidden in reply to Beevee]

Have you recovered? I will check the book out now! Thank you very much!

[Beevee in reply to Hidden]

Yes. Also check out a website called anxietynomore.co.uk which helped me a lot. The blog is excellent and contains lots of helpful advice from those who have recovered and those on the road to recovery, all by practising acceptance.

Recovery is all about accepting the symptoms. It doesn’t matter how long you have been suffering. Recovery is entirely possible for everyone when they realise they have been taking the wrong approach by fighting, avoiding, suppressing, deliberate distraction, instead of accepting and feeling it all willingly. Like I say in my profile, anxiety is a paradox. The more you do to try and recover, the more it eludes you. The less you do to try and get better, the more you recover.

[Hidden in reply to Beevee]

Amazing advice Beevee! Thank you very much for your time!

[Beevee in reply to Hidden]

My pleasure. Onwards and upwards my friend. If you follow the advice in full, you will recover. Accept it all. No half measures, accepting some things but not others. Dr Weekes pioneered self help treatment for anxiety, depression and all other fear based disorders. It works for all because the root cause is the same. Fear or fearing the feelings of fear. It’s very simple but the road to recovery can be rocky but so long as you keep practising acceptance, it is just a matter of time. Do not go searching for recovery. Recovery will find you, all in good time. It’s a natural physiological process that the mind and body goes through to return to its default peaceful settings. There will be good days, there will be lots of bad days but it is just the mind and body sorting itself out. You just have to learn to step out of the way of yourself and let the process do its thing.

[Hidden in reply to Beevee]

Did you seek professional help from doctors? All I have found here in the United States is doctors that do not care about anything but my money and putting me on toxic medications

[Beevee in reply to Hidden]

Yes, at first but to be honest, many don’t really understand the disorder and too quick to prescribe SSRIs. They didn’t help me. They made it worse so I stopped taking them. I had many different tests to find out what was wrong. Heart monitors, internal examinations 😳, eye tests, cameras down my throat looking for lumps. Nothing was found. I was fine but by then, the stress of it all took its toll and anxiety set in, big time. I became scared of my own shadow. I tried 3 or 4 different SSRIs but flushed them all away. A friend lent me a book by Dr Claire Weekes. I read it and thought it wouldn’t help. I read it again and started to understand what was going on. I then bought another book that was more detailed, the one I mentioned earlier and went from there. The more I read it, the more I understood what anxiety was all about and how it manifests itself. It was tough at times but the rewards are huge. I had thousands of different intrusive thoughts and feelings, depression, social anxiety, relationship anxiety, the whole shooting match. These are just labels given by the medical profession and far easier just to call it all anxiety. They are all the same. The more I understood, the less I feared what was going on and learned to let go. This new attitude took time to develop but like anything, the more you practice, the better you become. If the subject was less taboo (we are getting there) I’d put my recovery in bold at the very top of my cv / resume😎

[Beevee in reply to Hidden]

I’m here all week 😁😍

[Hidden in reply to Beevee]

And professional help? Did you seek it? Have any success?

[Beevee in reply to Hidden]

Forgot to mention hypnosis and a handful of professionals. All no good but if you do find one that has been through it themselves and advocates acceptance then trust them completely. They know what they are talking about.

[Hidden in reply to Beevee]

How long did it take you to start feeling better? How long was the process? I struggle with self confidence so it makes this process a lot harder. I’m sure that is the root cause of my anxiety.

[Beevee in reply to Hidden]

It took a while, most of the time developing the right attitude. It is difficult at first but does get easier. Speed of recovery is different for everyone. It happens in layers and quite often goes unnoticed because it is so gradual. There will be moments of clarity when you can clearly se that there is nothing to be concerned over. Then you will slip back into the mire but just accept it. Those moments will turn into longer periods where you simply don’t notice if you have anxiety. Occasionally, I’d stop to think that I hadn’t had a particular thought or feeling for a while. It simply slipped away quietly. There will be setbacks too where you think you are back to square 1 and your anxiety will have you believe that there is no way out. Not true. Setbacks are a sign that you are heading in the right direction and to be treated in the exact same way by accepting those too. The knowledge and experience you pick up along the way will not be lost. It will always be there and as you go through those setbacks time and again, and out the other side, you gain confidence. When you recover, you will be well equipped to handle most things and significantly reduce the chances of slipping so far down that greasey anxiety pole ever again because you will know what to do.

You say you struggle with self confidence. I had that in spades but I just pushed through all those negative thoughts and feelings because that is all it is. Accept those thoughts and just do it. What’s the worst that can happen? You will surprise yourself and your confidence will be boosted. I have to give presentations as part of my job and were a nightmare but I still did them. Ignore those negative thoughts and push on. You’ll do just fine.

[Orangeblossom85 in reply to Beevee]

Amazing website!!! Thanks a million!!

[Hidden in reply to Beevee]

How do you feel it willingly though. Just sit there and let the horrible sensations pass? I don’t know what to do. I don’t have a racing heart so how can it be adrenaline causing shit horrible sensations. Yes they pass but they haunt you the rest of the day.