Anxiety Support
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My boyfriend doesn't understand my mental health

I have anxiety disorder and panic attacks and i usually like to talk about those things, it makes me feel better. I have been in a relationship for 3 months and I know it's not a pleasant subject, but i want to be open to him. But whenever i tell him "I'm sorry I'm being werid today, I am really anxious" or "I just had a panic attack" his response is so unempathetic, he says something like "be positive, at least you have a hot boyfriend" or he kisses me once and tells me that everything is ok now. He can't understand the fact that some people need pills to stay in control or therapy but he should be the one that brings me comfort, but i feel like he just doesn't care about my mental state and this is a very important part of my life.

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So, maybe he is trying to be empathetic and just doesn't know how and is doing his best. I know as a guy before I started dealing with this. Those were my responses (or at least similar). Try just sitting down and talking to him about what its like. Also realize for guys, we don't always get all emotional when we try and comfort someone and sometimes don't always say the right thing. It seems at least by the kissing and humor that he does at least love you and want to help. But might just not be how you expect it.

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I’m sorry for how you feel, it’s dificult.

Mental illness is complex, tbh I don’t always understand a lot of things and have to learn about them and why I act like I do etc, I used to feel frustrated when people didn’t understand me, then I thought how can I expect them to, if you don’t or have not experienced it in your life,then it is very difficult to understand. He possibly thinks he is doing the right thing and being encouraging and loving, For loved ones to understand I guess one way is to guide them or encourage them to learn about it, as we do.

I wish you well x

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Trust me when I say people don't want to hear about that. Even family will turn away from you. My kids who live with me isolate me and when I go anywhere with them I'm told to behave. They don't want to hear anything from me. So I'm afraid to speak around anyone really. Even my best friend cuts me off from speaking. That's why I'm on this site to be able to vent. It seems best if you don't come clean so soon it will scare others real FAST. If you don't want to hurt any relationships in your life it's best not to speak to them about your anxiety unfortunately. they want you to just get over it, if it only were that easy? Good luck

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Right, they just want YOU to get over it. They do not even try to understand what it is, what you are feeling, emotionally, physically, how it affects your daily life. They want to close their eyes and it will all be over. You will wake up the old you. Denial is what I call it. They don't get it, don't want to get it, perhaps can't get it.

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