I'm back......

[Roserose]

Hi everyone, it's crazy to think I was on here for the first time about 5 years ago.

I'm so dissapointed that I am back... AGAIN.

So I came off my meds ONCE AGAIN, mainly due to the fact that i have no sex drive and was feeling strong enough to come off them. Been with out my meds for about three months or so and I just found I was constantly struggling with low mood, dizzyness, headaches etc and I am self employed as a Make up artist and I just couldn't keep taking on clients thinking am I going to be okay by the time their wedding comes around. I have to be able to plan.... I have to know that I will be able to turn up and do the job.

Usually when I go onto my meds I am at rock bottom, but this time I could feel myself slipping so started back on 10mg of citalopram and have remained at the same dose.

the first week was rough - dizzy, tired, nausea, loss of apetite etc. Yesterday I actually felt like I could get out for a walk so took my beautiful sausage dog Dylan to the beach and god it felt good to be out even though I did feel like shite. I honestly thought I was turning a corner.

Then last night I just felt my head went all clouded and felt I had a fairly intense panic attack that I just crawled into bed and went to sleep. This morning I woke up and I feel awful. My heart feels like its in my mouth, I feel like my head is full of cotton wool, I feel frustrated, hopeless, cold and basically desperate for all these anxiety symptoms to end.

I have had to cancel all my make up appointments from the last two weeks and have had to take time out at my bar job that I do about twice a week.

I am now on the verge of another panic attack and just want to crawl into a whole and go to sleep and just wait for this all to pass. Is this the meds making me feel like this? I hope someone can tell me it is and that its because they are working.

I've got though this before ... but can I do it again? I guess I have to

I'm letting so many people down.

Hello to you all, and I'm sorry for everyone here that suffers on this crappy journey.

Rose xx

[noemikahle]

You will get through this like you have before. It’s not a matter of strength thinking you are able to go without meds. We all have a disease called GAD which most of us need meds to treat. I never plan to get off meds since last time I did due to doctors error I was non functional for six months and so dissociated from reality that I had to move to my mothers away from my kids and I didn’t even care. I love my medications and I really don’t care what other people think.