Feeling alone: I'm feeling alone nowhere to... - Anxiety Support

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Feeling alone

Trees2357 profile image
41 Replies

I'm feeling alone nowhere to go, no one talks to me. I need someone.

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Trees2357 profile image
Trees2357
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41 Replies
RealEyes profile image
RealEyes

Hey there Trees2347

RealEyes here ... and, i can relate to feeling alone right now ... it is tough sometimes when there is no one around to talk to or just hang out with. probably why i revisited this place again ... cause even online connections is helpful in these extra lonely times.

Hope your day brings some friendly energy your way Trees ... I have been making some efforts to get out these last few days, which has helped.

if you want to respond to this - maybe we can share a bit online, i will be checking back here more often these days.

Do take care of your self Trees ... and, later, RE

in reply to RealEyes

Trees I understand but you are not alone. Being home during the day by yourselves is very difficult. Try volunteering outside of the house for one day. Maybe at your local library or something. Also the online support Group is very helpful at times of loneliness. Find a pen pal.

You most and above all have your husband. Let him know you are lonely and it would be helpful if on his breaks that he shoot you a quick text or email during the day. It will help in your healing.

Trees2357 profile image
Trees2357 in reply to

My husband wants to leave. Right now anxiety is bad and my lower back and ribs are hurting really bad I'm scared it hurts to walk

SA192461 profile image
SA192461 in reply to Trees2357

My back and sides are hurting so bad too😢

Trees2357 profile image
Trees2357 in reply to SA192461

What do you do

in reply to Trees2357

Trees do not be anxious about your marriage. It will only make things worse not better. There has to be an underlying reason for your condition. Things that happened in your life. You have to get to the root so that you can learn how to deal with them in the right way. Speak with your therapist but I would suggest not bothering your husband right now with what you have going on. I do online therapy. It is working great. I do not like the one on one of therapy so we communicate electronically. It is working very well and my therapist has devoted a lot of time in helping me work out my problems. I know what caused my anxiety and you probably know what causing your illness. Try the online therapy. It is 100 dollars per month and well worth it. I have been praying for you and I will continue to pray for you and your husband.

Trees2357 profile image
Trees2357 in reply to

Thank you so much

Lostjoy profile image
Lostjoy in reply to

Do you mind sharing where you go for online therapy?

in reply to Lostjoy

Modern Therapy. They worked for me. Very caring.

Lostjoy profile image
Lostjoy in reply to

Thank You!

in reply to Lostjoy

You are welcome. When my therapist writes me it takes my mind off my anxiety and puts it to getting better. It has really been a good experience for me. I just started but plan to continue. When I get lonely I respond to the emails my therapist sends me.

Lostjoy profile image
Lostjoy in reply to

I think I might give it a try. I get lonely also which is a big part of my depression.

in reply to Trees2357

Trees, remember, I am not suggesting that you change therapist but add online therapist. It will give you someone to communicate with during the day. Everything is going to be fine, you will see. God is going to work things out for your good, let it go (fear what your illness will do) and let God. God loves you and I love you in Christ. Relax, God has this for you.

Trees2357 profile image
Trees2357 in reply to

This has been going on for 5 years. The thoughts in my head fear of fear won't let me relax. I've been praying and reading devotions but no answer

in reply to Trees2357

I think God maybe saying he already gave you the answer. The answer is in you. The Holy Spirit comes to teach us. You know what to do just not how to do it. Ask your therapist to help you get to the root cause of what you are fearing and to teach you how to handle the situations. God sends healing in different ways and I believe the right therapist is one of those ways. The word of God says “have I not commanded you, be strong and courages”. Courage in the face of fear I think. Then he says, “I have not given you the spirit of fear but power, love, and a sound mind”. Be strong and courages until following God’s leading you get rid of the fear and replace it with love, power, a self controlled mind. Read the devotional. The more word you get in you the stronger you will become. God is his word and the Holy Spirit needs you to have the word to help you through situations. Hold on your change is on its way! God will perfect that which concerns you, he will never forsake the work of his hand, he will never forsake you.

Trees2357 profile image
Trees2357 in reply to

Thank you! I need more trust.

in reply to Trees2357

Tell yourself that every time you begin to doubt. God I will trust you. And also trust yourselves and if you need to tell yourselves you trust yourselves.

in reply to Trees2357

God loves those that hope in his mercy. Forgetting those things from behind and pressing forward to the high calling in Christ Jesus. You do not give up, God will do it for you; there is nothing you and God can not accomplish together. You keep fighting the good fight of faith, faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen. Just know that God loves you and will complete the good work he has begun in you. Never give up, believe that God has answered your prayers and claim it until it manifests, you will see God’s goodness in your life. Just believe, may God help our unbelieve. I know God is going to do this for you.

Trees2357 profile image
Trees2357 in reply to

I hope so!

in reply to Trees2357

Mistake I made was lack of confidence. I found myself suffering for over 30 years. Do not make that same mistake. Trust God, when you believe starts light, confess to yourself and God you will trust him. God was not kidding when he said be strong and courageous. I can not impress upon you trees the importsntance of courage and strength in your situation. When you mess up do not fear just start over. Be unrelenting in your quest to get healed. And while you are alone practice letting the anxious feelings run their course. You have Gond to the Doctor you are not physically ill so you know it is only in your thoughts. Let it just do what it is going to do. I hear this works to desensitize your nerves. Praying for you.

in reply to

Trees as a Christian you know I know to challenge thoughts not in line with God’s words. But this does not mean you are not allowing it to happen you just put the right thoughts in your mind after whatever symptoms or thoughts run their course.

Trees2357 profile image
Trees2357 in reply to

I have a knot of fear in my stomach. I have anxiety and depression all day.

Trees2357 profile image
Trees2357 in reply to

I can't do that. The anxiety is very strong. I just want to cry

in reply to Trees2357

I will pray for you until you are saying you can, God be with you

Trees2357 profile image
Trees2357 in reply to

Thank you so much! I might need inpatient

JC_Mommy profile image
JC_Mommy in reply to Trees2357

Maybe going to church will put you at ease if you don’t already go. After reading threads on this website I came across this book everyone talks about called DARE. It’s about treating anxiety and panic and it has a 5 star rating. It’s about $13 on Amazon. I’m almost done with it but I feel like I’ll have to re read it to get the method to sink in. It’s about retraining your mindset and attitude and moving forward with your life. It’s relatebale and makes perfect sense but it’s all about how you react to your anxiety and what YOU can do to make it better. It’s worth buying. Makes you feel better!

Trees2357 profile image
Trees2357 in reply to JC_Mommy

Maybe I'll try it

JC_Mommy profile image
JC_Mommy in reply to Trees2357

It can’t hurt to read a self help book! Good luck :)

Ollie33 profile image
Ollie33

Me too . 😔

johncraig profile image
johncraig

Even though I have family I too feel lonely at times as I don't want to keep burdening them with my problems..I find going long walks good for me..also listening to upbeat music..no Radio head songs.lol...coming on here also boosts my mood...I'm sure your mood will improve and finding something that works for you will help a lot..best of luck..john.

Facetedjewel profile image
Facetedjewel

I care relate to you! It is very difficult dealing with anxiety. I tend to be an outgoing person, when anxiety rears its ugly head, I feel like staying in bed with the covers over my head. All I want to do is isolate!

I have found that most people do not understand what it is like to have an anxiety disorder. They relate to it as getting nervous before giving a presentation at work, for an example. "Oh just relax. It will be fine...", which is not the case at all. If I could just relax I would!

My anxiety is nothing like that. It effects my thinking, sleeping, eating, and physical being. I find there are days I do not even feel like going to work. If I push myself and go, sometimes it gets better. I am up and dressed and out of the house around people, plus not using sick or vacation time because of anxiety.

I am on medication and have been for years. I feel that it has helped, especially in the beginning, but now I am dependent on it and have to take it, whether if helps or not. I may ween off it, yet it will take years, and try to go with supplements instead.

I have found that exercise helps me. A walk outside on a beautiful day, looking at all the colors that surround me, whether the flowers in spring and summer, or the colored leaves in the fall. Really being mindful of all that nature provides for us. If my mind starts to wander and anxiety begins to creep in, I tell myself to "STOP" and bring myself back to the present. I also have various DVD's and I try to do one each day before work. I love to dance and I have found a new one called "Groove" which I just love, so it is not a chore for me to do.

I also write. I have a journal and begin writing about what is bothering me and before I know it I am off and running and just go where the pen and paper take me. It can be amazing what I start with and where I end up. No judgement, just a safe way to get out what is on my mind. I have a family too, and they try to understand my anxiety, but really do not, so this is a way to get it out of my head and onto paper and it has helped me a great deal.

One last thing I will say, I just got out of the hospital. I had a "mini-stroke". I was fortunate to get to the hospital in time and that it did not cause any lasting effects, at least that I can tell. I was put on medication so my red blood cells do not stick together. I was also told besides a partially blocked artery that stress plays a huge part in this. They again told me to let things go and find a outlet such as yoga, which I did for years, but now have back issues and it can exacerbate the pain. Exercise is important, meditation, writing, etc. I know that I am the only one who can take care of the stress aspect. Physically, my cholesterol, blood sugar, and everything else is good. I am tall and thin. So, who knew that something like this could and did happen.

Yesterday I had another tiny one. I have to get my anxiety under control because now it is a large part of ruining my health. This is something else to be anxious about. I am trying to look at this as being positive and a blessing in disguise. I will continue to exercise, realize what I can control and what I cannot, meditate more, and keep writing. This is the first time that stress/anxiety has had a major impact on my health. A true wake up call for sure!

So, while it is not easy, I call it a cross to bear, and I am a social worker, I believe that a toolbox of coping techniques, i.e. deep breathing, the walking, etc., are ways to try and cope with anxiety. I have seen a therapist for years, so I have a place to share with someone who understands, but she is not always with me, so I have to try and manage it on my own. I think I need to rev them up after what I just went through!

So, hang in there. Use this board as much as possible, and take baby steps to put into place just one activity at a time that you find helpful in calming your mind and body down. Everyone is different and has to find what works for him or herself.

They say that depression is thinking about the past and anxiety is thinking and worrying about the future, neither of which we can change, so by trying to stay in the present, focusing on what we are doing, and knowing that all will work out somehow, is a way to quiet our thoughts and live life from one moment to the next.

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to Facetedjewel

I agree with your words of wisdom and training. It didn't surprise me in that you are a social worker. I too am an out going person but when under stress, I rather handle it alone. Like you I have all the tools I need to help myself and if I need to bounce my thoughts off someone, I have a most wonderful, caring social worker who has gotten me through my rough times to where I am now.

If I want to take away anything from your response, it would be the last paragraph. It says it all.

My best to you. Thank you for sharing an amazing response. Agora1 xx

Facetedjewel profile image
Facetedjewel in reply to Agora1

Thank you, Agora1!

It is interesting how many people in the helping professions are drawn to it because of their own issues. Of course, many therapists do not share this, but it is very common in the field.

Thank you for your kind words. Anxiety is often misunderstood, as is depression, by those not suffering with it. Most respond, "get over it, just take a deep breath and relax...". It would be fantastic if that worked! For most it does not.

Just last night I was trying to get to sleep. My husband turned off the TV, knowing that I had to get up early, and because I was still awake, my mind started to whirl, I had been comfy and suddenly got hot, and my and my anxiety began to rear its ugly head. I took some deep breaths, and tried to meditate, to get my mind to stop whirling. After a period of time, I feel asleep.

It takes work, at least on my part, to keep it under control. I have said to myself, "Okay, I have anxiety. I can either fight it and lose, or make friends with it and do what I can to accept it and keep it under control as best I can." So, I reach into my toolbox and grab what I can in the moment and put it in action. I truly find that trying to stay present, in the moment, works the best for me. Mindfulness is all the talk now, and if practiced, it does help a great deal. I try to keep bringing myself back to what I am doing and it will ease my what if's and tendency to get overwhelmed.

Here I go, on and on...

Have a good day, stay as positive as you can, fill a toolbox with what works for you, and stay present.

Julianne

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to Facetedjewel

Hi Julianne, you really are a jewel :) My toolbox is filled with all the things I learned through therapy over the years, with Meditation & Deep Breathing being on top :)

Make it a great day. We are only a message away. xx

Trees2357 profile image
Trees2357 in reply to Facetedjewel

That's what I need a really good therapist that can help me or an inpatient facility. I was told I need therapy more than once a week. It's taking away my life

SA192461 profile image
SA192461

I know exactly how you feel, my husband after 30 years wants a divorce and says he doesn’t love anymore...so anxious and terrified all the time😭❤️

Trees2357 profile image
Trees2357

I can't get better if my family doesn't want me. It hurts

in reply to Trees2357

Be strong Trees. I am standing in faith for you. YOU WILL GET BETTER. Trust and believe. Find ways to deal with it, you sound kind you are not looking for ways out. Exercise, read, therapy, positive self talk, find one or more things that work for you and do it. Do not wait until you hit rock bottom Trees, fight for your family, fight for your health you are worth it. God says that you are fearfully and wonderfully made, he took great care in making you, in making all of us. He cares for you, you have to know you are worth the effort. I wake up early to pray. I will be praying for you. Let the peace of God mount garrison over your heart and mind. You will get there. You should have seen me just a couple of years ago. I had hot rock bottom, but what I did that saved me was to hold onto God. I got divorced but my children never gave up on me and they still will not give up on me. Be strong. Fight for your marriage. I wish I had; I just let it go; it was the fear that was talking. I know you will be ok. 💕

Praying. God is with you.

Trees2357 profile image
Trees2357 in reply to

Thank you

Difficult to have a disease like Osteoporosis. I am sorry. Feel better. You will find a way to manage your pain.

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