So I recently got back from a 4 month boarding school which was absolutely amazing and I’ve never felt better than when I was there. (I’m a junior in high school). Now while I was there I did have some anxiety fueled thoughts about my friends and the transition back into normal high school. I only have two friends at my school because talking to new people is actually painful due to my social anxiety. Both of those friends are clinically depressed and I was the one that they would lean on so I was very scared that they would try and hurt themselves while I was gone, it was a constant worry in my mind. So both of them had multiple suicide attempts while I was gone and I managed to talk one of them down over the phone once but she tried later. Then now that I’m back one of my friends (who was diagnosed with IED) is in a residential mental health facility and the other is now going to a private school so I have no friends to go back to which is so scary to me. Then I was worried about missing school due to the registration process and I’ve already missed 2 days of the new semester. These two things combined with missing my friends from back at school and a very very confusing new relationship possibility is just really spiking my anxiety. I have nearly constant headaches, can’t sleep, and have super high general anxiety all the time. I’m just kinda falling apart and I just wanted to get it out. The fact that my anxieties are coming true is really hurting my progress because it’s harder for me to shoot down my anxious thoughts as improbable when they’ve been happening.