Going on 3 months now that I awake each morning and feel what I describe as "fear" or doom or perhaps anxiety....call it what you will. Why, I ask. I am logical enough to know this is NOT logical!! I'm being illogical. It feels like I'm wasting much of my life worrying about I don't know what!! My poor husband must be sick of it even though I try not to mention it I know it shows (I often shake) and looks can speak words. I take my medications faithfully but apparently they don't help this foolishness. The crazy part is that when I go to bed at night I do not have this feeling of doom/fear. It greets me as I wake and likes to linger in the background. Usually by about 4pm it is weaning off and I'm almost "normal". Can anyone else relate?
And so it goes.....: Going on 3 months now... - Anxiety Support
And so it goes.....
I can understand the doom and fear but also I am glad I have woke up in the morning as I do worry when I go to sleep I won’t wake up which is silly. X
I totally agree with you. My husband always says "be glad you woke up today". I am, but I'd prefer not to wake with a pit of fear in my stomach.
Yeah I know the feeling and my heart always races in the morning the most. It would be nice to just wake up like before without any anxiety or worries. I think it’s has made me want to make the most out of life now.
I hear you in that it would be nice to turn back time to the "good spell". I only wish I could control my thoughts but the mind is so powerful
I agree with your husband kama24, I'm thankful every day I wake up and I show it to myself by sitting up, smiling and saying to myself "I'm Back"....
I no longer allow fear to take over. Funny in that it's the normal biological process of the adrenaline being higher in the morning in order to prepare us for a day of "fight or flight" back when .
Where did that adrenaline go in that I no longer feel it every morning?? Oh yes, I forgot, as Jeff1943 always says I finally accepted that fear wouldn't hurt me even though the adrenaline is still there, I no longer feel it. A miracle 
Yes, they found a fatty mass on my adrenal gland for which I did go to a specialist. I've not heard anything back as yet. I wish I could be stronger than my feelings. Mentally I know it is totally illogical to have these thoughts. I want to brush them aside but so far I'm not winning. I will not give up though! That is a good quote from Jeff1943 I hope for a miracle too!
kama, don't be so hard on yourself. Maybe with you it is a physical thing such as the mass on the Adrenal gland. If that's the case, then the doctor will address it and it may be the miracle you are waiting for in eliminating your anxiety. Keep us posted please. My best to you always. xx
When we talked to the endocrinologist he said it was a fatty mass on my adrenal and nothing to worry about. I don't doubt it may be nothing to fret but I do find it hard to believe that the only thing different in me is this mass and both the family dr and the naturopath thought it could be the reason for my anxiety. Frankly I don't know who to believe or where to turn. I just keep trying to turn my thought pattern in the good direction.
Hey Kama,
Don’t feel bad about this one bit! I totally understand what you’re going through. Most days I awake in fear too it’s like he second you open up your eyes after a peaceful sleep your anxiety is there to greet you. I get it!!
I know it’s super uncomfortable but some mornings I just try to tell myself “I just woke up I’m not alert yet I’ll be okay” it happened to me this morning too and I payed on the wood floor on my back and just calmed myself down and then have been fine. You need to do that too
I find that I’m also better in the evenings as far as feeling more normal goes. For me I’m home alone during the days so I tend to feel more antsy and anxious symptoms then but at night when someone is home with me I feel I’m able to function better (I still occasionally get bad physical symptoms at night but they say everything that hurts feels worse at night) maybe you feel better when you’re with your family and husband? That’s a good thing
Keep being positive and don’t worry about how the anxiety makes you feel just take good care of your health
Yessssssssss you are fine at night, have a good sleep, and as soon as you become aware you are awake whammo! My problem is that the feeling just won't let go of me until about 4 or 5 pm. I do find that getting up and moving is far better than laying there and shaking! Yes, being alone doesn't help. Hubby was back north for a week and it was a daily battle, even though I had people check in via phone with me. I guess to put it in a nutshell, I'm fed up with myself that I cannot shake the feeling of anxiety and fear. I can reason out the logic just fine but to shake off the feeling is impossible. I am not going to give up attempting to get hold of myself. Thanks for your reply.
You are doing great. Keep at it everyday. The strongest people in my opinion are those who get up everyday and fight a battle with themselves. I saw a great quote recently that says “You wake up each day to fight the demons that left you so tired the night before, and that my love is bravery” absolutely beautiful. You should look this quote up on google and save it and make it your background so important to remember. I could see how your husband being away could make you feel anxious but don’t worry that’s natural to feel that way.
Don’t talk harshly about yourself you are going to be just fine. My counsellor told me to look at anxiety as a sign that your body is trying to tell you that you just need to do something a bit better for yourself in life Maybe you need to eat better or sleep more or be more adventurous. Something like that should help over time if you keep at it. There is no rush in life just hold onto the good feelings on those good days and keep them as long as you can then one day all your days will be good. I promise!
What a coincidence.....I call my fear "my demon"!! I will google your quote! The one I like is "If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought again". I would be more adventurous if I had the courage to do so lol I force myself at times to just leave the house alone and go to the mall etc. I see and read some very sad stories in the news and am thankful I am what I am....hummmm now that makes me think If I have a good day I dance to the radio and enjoy every moment of the "norm". You are a very brave person! Thanks so much.
Ironic how that works out! Very nice quote you listed there! And good for you for getting yourself out even through your struggles. That’s the best way to get through them
I’ve heard thanks for sharing a piece of your story with us here and thanks for the nice compliment. You are brave also keep being brave!! Thanks for your kind words
I shake, too. It's awful. Physical symptoms and many times I didn't have the emotional anxiety so I really believed something was horribly wrong
I used to go through this 'end of the world' feeling on most mornings and I identified what was lacking in my life - because of my anxiety and to some extent the sleepy side effects of my medication I was no longer able to forward plan anything. I was constantly making arrangements to do things and then on the day I simply really didn't want to go - so I stopped making plans. With absolutely no forward planning in my life I started to wake up to each day feeling doomed. I know that the future doesn't really exist, it's just imaginary anticipation but for some reason I still need to plan for it. So I started forward planning again but in small daily slices that would be successful. Little things like keeping to my healthy diet. Taking a shower every day. Going out and about 5 out of 7 days. Setting myself small tasks and goals to achieve has helped to get rid of the 'end of the world' symptoms. I still get them on odd occasions but they don't last long. Hope you can all gain something from this but this is how I sorted myself out.
Thank you for sharing. I too "force" myself to get out of the house on short errands a few times a week. I have severe morning nausea and I think dealing with it and wondering if it is going to get worse causes the anxiety to increase. I have had medications and tests for the nausea and all have been negative. At night before bed, I am a "rational" person and try to reason with myself, it all sounds "good" then. I wake and am right back where I started. I will keep battling.
Good Morning kama24, I just got on the forum for the day even though I have been awake for the last couple hours. Upon awakening, I reach for my headphones, adjust my pillow, fluff up the blankets and listen to my relaxation tape. As the familiar voice talks to me reassuring me I am safe and taking me on an escape of imaginary calming thoughts, I start breathing deeply and slowly exhaling .
Thoughts of the day may come into my head but I immediately by past them as I tune back to what I am being told. I am taken on an imaginary trip when I am safe and there is no stress. It's a beautiful scene all coming from my mind. The power of what our minds can do is phenomenal. With every deep breath I take, the calmer and more at peace I feel. After 20 minutes the tape is over, but the feeling of calm is addicting and I want more. And so I turn the tape over for another 20 minutes of self hypnosis.
kama, the peace I feel has no room for fear or butterfly feelings. This has become my new habit of choice. Most times, I do not want to get out of bed. Not because I fear the day but because I am enjoying the present moment so much. With that calm feeling I finally decide to get up and that's when I say "I'm Back" with a smile and ready to start my day. off on the right foot
Morning anxiety will be there for as long as we allow it to. It is meant to be a motivation to get on with the day and survive but anxiety has taught us to fear that feeling. There is nothing to fear, it is just a feeling. Once we learn to accept that it is just that, we can retrain our minds. I was no different than anyone else fearing morning anxiety, to the point of being afraid to go to bed knowing what waited for me each morning.
It does not have to be like that anymore. With practice of meditation, deep breathing and acceptance the habit of morning fear can and will be broken. xx
Hello, I just read your wonderful description of what your mornings are like now. Where does one get "tapes" or CDs with calming imagery on them? I have no idea where to look! I will google to see if Indigo or Amazon carry them. Yes, our minds are so very powerful. We went to visit our daughter & family this past weekend. The mornings were a challenge but I did get to go to our youngest granddaughter's soccer game and shopping with our 3 girls. We got home Sunday night. I find it so odd that this pending feeling of "fear" encases me during the day yet does ease off at night. I mentally talk to myself a lot....out loud when I am alone I often say "I believe I fear...fear!" Like the saying goes "we have nothing to fear but fear itself!". How true in my case!! You are correct, fear is only a feeling....I do believe it is possible to overcome it if we truly are not in a threatening situation. I forced myself to go out this morning to get a few groceries. I'd feel panic in the background and used my CBT logic to fend it off. I only wish I could fend it off for good! I go to see my pschyciatrist next month and will ask him about my meds. I've often said "why am I taking this stuff if it isn't helping?". He responds that I'd be far worse off without it. I truly don't know anymore. Perhaps he might have an idea as to where to purchase relaxation CDs, Many years ago the dr. I was seeing made one for me and I'd listen to it at night. I remember feeling very relaxed. That,however, was over 20 years ago or more and I have no idea where the tape went. I'm afraid my husband is truly tired of hearing me "vent" about how I feel. He is busy living life and enjoying each moment. I envy him. Thank you for sharing. I do appreciate it. I have few people I can talk to and am sure those few do get fed up with hearing me all the time. I keep picturing myself as "normal" once again. It is so easy to have negative thoughts overwhelm ones positive thoughts. The battle continues! Take care.
I will get you the info you need on the tapes kama. Mine are so old but there is always something new on the market to replace it.
I'm going shopping right now for Thanksgiving groceries, I will get back to you on this.
At least your trying in going forward as uncomfortable as it may be.
We will tweak it a little in what you are saying to yourself as well as those negative thoughts. Talk later xx
Oh yes this is your Thanksgiving holiday. We have ours in October. I hope you have a great day!
Sorry kama, just got back. I thought you were in the U.S.
Yes ours is this Thursday, have everything in the house.
Let me take a look what's available on Amazon that might help you out.
Canada here I went to Amazon and EBay and they have the CDs with for example bubbling brooks, birds, wind etc. but I do have them. I know YouTube has the "talking" ones but I would have to be sitting or lieing on the chesterfield to hear it. I always hate to give in but if I'm like this tomorrow I will resort to an Ativan.
And that okay to use Ativan as a crutch once in a while. It will make you remember what it feels like to relax. x
Yes, I might take 3 Ativan in a month, only in VERY bad times. I'm very careful in how I use it as I have heard you can build up an intolerance to it & I do not want that.
kama the fear of medication can keep us stuck in a rut. We fear meds that may help us, we fear the fear we feel as well as fearing we will never get better. 3 a month is nothing to worry about.
Medication is all about breaking that circle of fear while you find other methods of doing it on your own.
It's when you just pop pill after pill expecting that to be the answer, that is where you can get in trouble and become dependent on it or even addicted.
But even at that, worse case scenario, you can come down off it, it's not a lifetime sentence just a little discomfort while coming down. You are being responsible. x
It's really all we can do, keep fighting a battle we don't fully understand. I hope your symptoms improve in the near future. I'm enjoying a fairly good time at the moment but I know from experience this could change any morning.
I used feel this way often and oh I how wish it was as easy to fix as “being thankful I woke up!” If it were that easy no one would ever have anxiety. Through the help of my functional medicine doctor I am finally getting better and I don’t have this feeling nearly as often as I used to. You’re the first person I have heard describe your anxiety as doom. That’s exactly how I felt. It’s the worst!
Yes, I agree that it is not easy to talk yourself "straight". You know you are being illogical but it is next to impossible to convince yourself of it. "Doom" is an impending feeling of the unknown or what might happen during the rest of the day, week, month, your life. You just want to be normal and enjoy each day, but it is a struggle. Very few understand and many don't want to hear about it. I feel doctors simply give up most times and that too is frustrating. Thank you for responding.
I have a feeling that you are letting your symptoms take over your life. That may sound crass however when I realized that my feelings of fear and anxiety were not dangerous and would not kill me I got busy with some volunteer work and the symptoms receeded over a relatively short period of time. You can do that also.
Hi, I volunteer daily for a local animal rescue. Some days I'm on the computer for hours at a time, others it is people coming and going. It never ends with animals lost/found and in distress. Busy I am I do agree that my life is often controlled by worry and panic, although I do see from this forum I'm not alone there. I am always relieved at the end of the day when I seem to calm. I would be very lost without being involved with the rescue.
Your volunteer work is wonderful! I think that doing that work takes your mind away from your symptoms and thus by evening you are feeling better. If when you get up in the morning you jump right on to your computer for an hour or so before breakfast that might not allow you to dwell on the symptoms. I hope this helps. I wish you the best!
'
Thank you Howard. Some days it gets so hectic I think I should step back but my husband says "no, it keeps your mind busy" and he is right! I often feel I "live" on the pc and ignore other things but it is a fulfilling "job". Today has been a long one anxiety wise even with the computer input. Tomorrow is another day!
To put it simply when you have an anxiety disorder your body is hypersensitive to all hormones associated with the sympathetic nervous system. In the morning your body releases cortisol to wake you up. Your body overreacts and BAM you're in a fight or flight mode. (and doom and gloom) If you get up and move around it usually settles down. Its why i HAVE to get up and walk the dogs. I've been dealing with this off and on for 7 years. Its awful but not necessarily something going on in your life. Best to just get up and move. I relate! Sorry you're having to endure this.
I agree. Staying in bed although normally comfortable, just increases the thoughts of fear and anxiety in your head. It is best to get moving, try to keep yourself occupied. I'm just so disappointed in myself that it has been over 2 yrs now and the morning fear/anxiety is still with me. If only we could turn back time.
kama24, I spent 30 years scared and fearful. Every morning turned into a nightmare that I dreaded waking up to. It got to the point where I was afraid to go to sleep at night knowing I'd be waking up to fear again. Oh I wished one day it wouldn't happen but it kept happening day after day, year after year. Even in the hospital, the fear would overwhelming take over at 6am. I would go to the nurses station and ask for my benzo and was always told, the nurse was making her rounds and will get to your room shortly. I would go back shaking and crying, how could I wait even another 5 minutes.
No one while in the hospital talked about anxiety not being harmful. No one mentioned books like Dr. Claire Weekes that could explain what was happening to me. It was unbelievable torture to live and feel so alone with this disorder. People on the outside look down at you as being crazy. Even my own daughter told the paramedics that I had called on 2 different occasions that her mom was a little off. The hurt was compounded with my fears.
It was then kama24, that I promised myself I would get out of this bind that I was in and I would never count or rely on someone else again. I was going to defeat anxiety. It doesn't come easy but it can and does happen that eventually something happens in your brain to bring you back to rational thinking and with that the fear dissipates until it disappears completely or no longer bothers you.
You are absolutely correct in the fact that once you wake up in the morning, start moving. Lying in bed only agitates the fear and makes it grow. Don't dwell on the thoughts and fears that may arise. Fill your day with a plan. Having something to look forward to no matter how small can help a lot. Never stay in your pjs and robe but wash, get dressed, eat breakfast and hydrate throughout the day. Patience as well as acceptance is the key to success. xx
Thank you for sharing. I have never been hospitalized but when I went to CBT classes, 3 of the people there had and all felt that really not much was done for them. They simply sat in their room "waiting". As I read the first part of what you posted, it felt like me!! I can so relate to you and what you went though. My daughter doesn't really understand why "I'd want to be like this"....truth be told I don't I do NOT want to be like this. I did so well until I went off Paxil 2+ yrs ago, not I'm this pathetic person! I still say "I'm logical enough to know I'm being illogical" but that doesn't really fix things. Yes, I like to have a plan of what I'm going to do each day, no matter how small or boring! Keep the mind busy! I can say I've never spent a "day" in bed nor in my pjs. When one deals with issues like this we soon find out who our "friends" are. I go to see the physciatrist in 2 weeks, what for I don't know. I guess he is of the new school? and basically wants me to do all the talking (unlike my kindly elderly one who I used to go to). I fee that we have to take it one day at a time like my husband says, but it sure isn't any "party"!
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