Ok it's been a month since I had to use an emergency Ativan. Even when I was at Children's hospital for 3 weeks with my son! I am home with him and with all the machines and new schedule I have no time to think about what if......or why is that happening. I am still seeing my therapist religiously and get a dark thought or I've done so much I'm exhausted. I still have my cry everyday I set aside 1 hour to feel horrible and let the negative thoughts in and then cry until I am exhausted and it really is calming. I still get the flutters and chest pain and feel like my heart is going to beat out of my chest, or slow down and stop. I just pause a second ask myself have I felt this before and if I have I ignore it if it's different I promise myself if it gets worse I will stop and call the doctor or go to the emergency room (it never has gotten that far, yet). I know once this settles down I will probably revert to my old ways (fingers crossed I don't) but I will work on that one day at a time. So keep yourself busy until you exhaust yourself might be the key to this whole thing. This is usually when my night or early morning anxiety starts so I am into preparing for that with crackers and juice on the nightstand and my meditation noise app on my phone. As much as I hate anxiety, in a way it's making me stronger and I believe everyone who has this terrible condition are stronger than anyone else who says why waste your time on worry. Worry and stress makes us be rational in extreme worry and anxiety because we deal with it every minute of every day the ones who don't, do not know how to handle a sliver of worry or anxiety. We are all at high alert all day every day and we survive. Screw those "normal" people we are the survivors!!