I'm new and lost in my own heart

[okiamandaoki]

Hi, I'm Amanda, and I have depression and anxiety. I am not on medication because my parents have decided to keep me off it because they don't like medicine unless absolutely necessary. Lately, my depression has been getting worse and worse, to the point where i don't leave my room unless i really need to. I'm losing my heart and I don't know what to do about it.

[Lbk64]

May I ask what you mean by losing your own heart?

[okiamandaoki in reply to Lbk64]

like, i feel like i'm not connected to myself. i don't know what's happening with myself but i can feel it hurt. if that makes any sense.

[Indigojoe]

Amanda, i am sorry you are depressed. Have you told your parents that you want more help sorting this out? Have you talked to a counselor?

Are you angry about something or did someone disappoint you that you are keeping quiet about?

Keep talking to your folks, for now, so they understand you are willing to get to the bottom of this as soon as possible! 💖

[okiamandaoki in reply to Indigojoe]

my counselor has problems of her own and i can't switch because to be honest, i'm scared to. and i have no idea why i'm feeling like this, it's just an unfortunate circumstance.

[Indigojoe in reply to okiamandaoki]

You are smart enough and insightful enough to know that you deserve the best help out there for your concerns.

I CUT AND RUN the second i suspect a counselor has problems. The creep factor plays into it for me.

If Im in need.of therapy the therapist better be dam good.

Please trust yourself enough to TRY another.

[okiamandaoki in reply to Indigojoe]

i will, thank you so much

[Lisiem]

Hi , I absolutely relate to you + your comment about losing your heart! I have struggled with anxiety and panic attacks for many years . Sometimes I' ve managed to overcome them , sometimes not , but I keep on keeping on and I have good days and bad days . I am very lucky to have a good family , especially my mum who keep me level. Best wishes to you . Lisa xx

[okiamandaoki in reply to Lisiem]

thank you so much! it means a lot to me. i wish you luck with your life.

[TheBlackdog]

Hi there I also have anxiety, panic attacks and depression for just over 10 years now. I'm on citalopram but it hasn't worked it's magic really. I am trying a new drug over the next few weeks so fingers crossed.

How old are you and are your parents doctors or similar? It's your life and if it were me I would do what you need to do to live as full a life as possible. You only get one. I have children but had this before I had them so it just shows that it is possible to lead a normal life but you need to help yourself. What decision would you make if your parents weren't around as one day they won't be. If you don't go the meds route then I can highly recommend 'Mindfullness' Jon kabat zin everyday. Learn to spoil and treat yourself if you don't already do so. Enjoy life. You can't wait for it to just go and leave you alone it doesn't do that. Good luck x

[okiamandaoki in reply to TheBlackdog]

i'm still in school, and my parents are used to having perfect children, so they can't completely grasp the concept of depression and anxiety, despite my best attempts to explain to them. i am trying to lift my own spirits and try new things, but it's difficult because of a lack of motivation.

[TheBlackdog]

Try Mindfulness for beginners on YouTube.