Fears of hurting self: Does anyone else have... - Anxiety Support

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Fears of hurting self

carolyn982 profile image
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Does anyone else have a fear that while they are having a panic attack and that they feel they are losing their mind, that they will hurt themselves? I have never had a real desire to harm myself or others and to kill myself, but when my anxiety is high, I'm afraid that I will get to that point. Does anyone else have this fear?

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carolyn982
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Jeff1943 profile image
Jeff1943

Yes, many people do, Carolyn, you are not alone, anxiety disorder tends tofollow a similar course. Let me tell you that although anxiety can frighten us half to death, like with panic attacks, it's power is actually limited. Nobody has ever died of anxiety, it has never appeared as the cause of death on any death certificate. And it doesn't have the power to make us lose our minds. It's just very good at scaring us and leaving us bewildered but anxiety is really all bark and no bite. It will plant all kinds of fears into our minds, like accidentally hurting yourself in a panic attack, but these things never happen. Anxiety is a paper tiger and we can lose our fear of it and we can recover completely from its nightmare.

It starts when we are under pressure for a period of time, worrying or stressing or being unhappy at work, the causes are legion. Finally your nervous system reacts and undergoes a change: it becomes oversensitised. This is the point at which anxiety disorder begins and our nerves start to play tricks on us. Panic attacks and a feeling of impending doom are obvious ones but it can also take small normal concerns and magnify them ten fold and it is very, very good at mimicing genuine physical illness with similar but fake symptoms.

Soon we get in a vicious loop of fear causing more symptoms causing more fear causing more symptoms so on and so on. That maybe is the position you find yourself in today.

To recover it is suggested you do the opposite of what you're doing now. Instead of fighting it surrender to it, refuse to fight, because fighting causes more strain and tension and your sensitised nerves need less not more of that. Then stop reacting to the stab of first fear with second fear, accept all your bad feelings and strange thoughts calmly. Because sensitised nerves are fuelled by you constantly generating fear. Stop generating fear, your panic attacks stop in time.

The key word is Acceptance, to accept all the bad feelings without reacting to them, let them come, they can't kill, disable or send you crazy, you know that now. So accept them for the time being calmly and with a minimum of fear based on your new understanding of what is happening to you and that you can recover and now know how.

The Acceptance Method of recovery will eventually pacify your sensitised nerves and both they and you recover from anxiety disorder when that happy day is reached.

I convey to you this method of recovery first described by Doctor Claire Weekes many years ago in her first book 'Self help for your nerves' still selling like the proverbial hot cakes on Amazon for a few quid. In the U.S. the same book is titled 'Hope and help for your nerves'. I commend this book to you Carolyn, it is life-changing.

So fear not, you are not going to feel like this forever, you will recover I promise. All will be well for you, all manner of things will be well for you.

carolyn982 profile image
carolyn982 in reply to Jeff1943

Thank you so much for your detailed and comforting reply! I actually do know all of this, because I've been through this before but I swear, it's always like the first time when you really panic, even if you've been through this before. I also do own Dr. Claire Weekes' books. I'm at my parents' house at the moment so I don't have my books with me but your words have comforted me greatly! All the best to you :-)

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to carolyn982

carolyn982, until you get back home again, Dr. Claire Weekes videos can be found on YouTube. That will help carry you through until we can have Jeff1943 make a video as well :) xx

Jeff1943 profile image
Jeff1943 in reply to carolyn982

That's o.k., will be a good idea to reread the Claire Weekes book when you return, you can never read them enough times, specially when we have setbacks.

carolyn982 profile image
carolyn982 in reply to Jeff1943

Hello again, I just wanted to ask, because I'm still afraid, I know that people don't die from anxiety but what about anxiety being a cause of depression- then the depression causing suicide? At the moment I'm TERRIFED that my anxiety will lead me to depression... I'm so scared. I love my life and my family and I've no intention of doing anything like that, but I'm afraid of getting depressed due to my anxiety.

Jeff1943 profile image
Jeff1943 in reply to carolyn982

That's an important point you make that I have often thought about, I'm sure many of us get depressed about our anxiety, it's a natural reaction to anxiety. I call it secondary depression. Frankly I often find it difficult to tell whether a bad feeling is anxiety or depression, it's an indistinct line in the sand sometimes.

Fortunately, as secondary depression of this kind is reactive it disappears once we overcome the core problem which is anxiety.

Unfortunately, being terrified of the theoretical consequences of becoming depressed because of anxiety only feeds our anxiety more. So the answer to secondary depression is to accept it Claire Weekes' style as just another symptom of anxiety.

Your love of life and your family will ensure that you never harm yourself - if the feeling ever started to seriously worry you then you must tell your family, talk to your doctor right away or simply turn up at A&E or if you're an American the ER.

carolyn982 profile image
carolyn982 in reply to Jeff1943

Thank you so much again for a wonderful and helpful reply. Yes, my problem has always been fear and anxiety- not depression. Any depression I felt was always mild and only 'secondary' to the anxiety- as you say. I have also heard it referred to as 'secondary' before. I guess I just got nervous because they often group 'anxiety and depression' together. Yes, right now I'm just at the point of being afraid of it theoretically as I am of getting a deadly disease or being killed by a terrorist. I'm a hypochondriac you see- so I guess I'm just afraid of ANY and ALL WAYS that I could die, and I guess this is just one of my new 'obsessions'/ fears. I had bad anxiety from 2010 to 2013 but since about 2014, I had been doing wonderfully. I live in London though and I haven't been wanting to be out and about much since all the terrorist attacks have taken place. I just want to stay close to home. I've always loved being at home, but now I'm afraid I'm becoming agoraphobic due to world events!

Jmerrick22 profile image
Jmerrick22

Yes I've been there before and I know exactly how it feels.remember this " what you fear the worst can't happen "

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