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Anxiety Support
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Bad day

Today I've had a horrible day, I've been ill for a couple of days and I asked my mum if she would buy me a drink at the shops, which started and argument, I got angry and smashed the indoor window(I know it was wrong) and I was going to get it repaired. My mum came from work and got angry at me for smashing it but I knew that would happen my brother is now getting involved and telling my mum to call the police on me. He pretty much has it out for me every time me and my mum argue he always seem to have it out for me. Even when I was trying to hurt myself he had it out for me. He waits for something to happen so he can turn on me. Which he always does. He seem to always have so much love towards his friends but as soon as it come to me he turns on me. I don't want to sound like I'm pitting my self or anything I know I did something wrong but I'm absolutely miserable right now and have lost nearly everything that I care about being ill just makes me so much more vulnerable and lonely like I can't do for myself and it's like no one cares to help me at the times I need them. Sorry if this is long I just wanted to get this off my chest

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Hello :-)

I could spend time and maybe I should looking at your posts prior to this one so I could get a better idea but as you seem to be feeling so low I thought I would just get on with sending you a reply so you know someone is out there listening as that can be a huge help when you feel down :-)

I am wondering how old you are as for the reason you may have needed to ask your Mum to get you a drink rather than just buying one yourself :-)

You know us Mums are far from perfect , I know we do sometimes expect our Mums to be just that but trust me they get things wrong they make mistakes they sometimes won't even admit they have made one and sometimes they can fear especially when it comes to their children , they can want to try and pretend that nothing is really the matter because it is less painful than having to accept my child is not well , I wonder if your Mum is feeling this way ?

No of course you should not have broke the window , not a good move :-/ and on that one most parents would react , but hey you did it and now all you can do is make amends

Wait till your Mum has calmed down and then if you can ask if she will listen to you , tell her how you are feeling and where you were coming from and let her know how sorry you are and that you would like to pay for the damage , if she won't listen then you have to let go as you will have done all you can to make your mistake right and we all make mistakes :-)

Your Brother , well so many siblings do not get on or don't have time for each other and yes we can see it as rejection or that they don't love us but most of the time they love us more than anything it is just how it is and you normally find though that blood is thicker than water and if someone was threatening you he would be the first to defend you :-)

So for now focus on family members and friends that do make you feel loved and wanted :-)

Are you getting any support with your anxiety , this is where I should have read your other posts as they may have answered this question but you do need support and I hope you are getting some

Today has not been great so far maybe and for many of us we have days like this but someone once said to me when I was upset because my day had not been good that I could start my day at any time I wanted and make it good , so I hope you will do just that and put this behind you and do something for the rest of the day that will make you feel happy and so you will be able to say later well it started of rubbish but I turned it around and it ended well :-)

Take Care x

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Thanks for replying, I've only just turned 18 and Im waiting to restart college, my anxiety has been bad for the past months and has gotten better and I started to workout and exercise again to get better. I had got a stomach bug and my mum said she would go to the shops for me with no problem the argument start from me saying that it didn't matter since I didn't want to be annoying, I have not been getting help with my anxiety since my therapist wasn't helping me with my anxiety. But I'm going to be going to a new therapist soon

Thanks

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Well good for you starting College again soon , that takes some guts so you should feel very proud of yourself :-)

Sometimes the first therapist we meet and maybe even more than just the one it does not always work out , we need that connection I always think so keep faith with this next one that they will be able to help and you will form a good relationship with them , we have to also be willing to try and do what they ask but if we get that trust in them it is easier to follow their suggestions and I wish you all the luck in both college and with your new therapist :-) x

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I don’t have any siblings so I can’t really comment on that part but for the rest maybe I can offer an opinion. First instead of saying today is a bad day, say today was a bad day. Don’t give it the power to continue on. As far as your brother the best thing you can do is live your life. You can’t be to concerned with what he does or thinks. I’m time the relationship can heal but for now just focus on turning the bad around.

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Hello. You wanted to vent. So I read your story and "listened". You say you ill, but didn't say if you are working for money. And do not know your age. These things can be important to the listener to your vent.

So, before I suggest you get up off your as* and go to work like most of the people in the world who have illness, I want you to take a deep breath and relax so when you read what I have to say, you don't think I also am turning against you, ok?

Are you calm now...did you take some deep breaths? OK? OK.

First, lulu-1 wrote a very insightful and carefully thought out reply. Please keep it and read it again and again in the future when you are very calm and what to think about your future as a woman in your country.

I am going to look at your posts and replies before I write any further.

Read lulu-1 reply again while I do that and I will send another reply.

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Hello again.

Ah, so you are a curly haired young 18 year old woman (I imagine you are quite beautiful) in the UK with anxiety and concerns you might have fibromyalgia and fought with the issue you might be gay, are concerned about some weight gain. And you won't take your medication because you wrote you are afraid of side effects. You are not leaving your house to visit even your best friend. But you are planning to return to college.

You have been dealing with your anxiety unsuccessfully, and it has raised it's ugly head in various parts of your life. I am so sorry about that.

Now comes the chicken and the egg question? Which came first.? We don't know. Just like you don't know which came first---- your anxiety or all your concerns and change in your behavior of cutting yourself off from the world and refusing the medication that might help.

One thing that very much concerns me...you are now showing signs of violence.

You broke a window in your Mother's house because you didn't get your way...which was a very simple thing, even if difficult, you could have done yourself. You are now showing deep disrespect to your Mother. You don't say if you have the money to fix that window or work.

I am showing no judgment, I am showing deep concern. You could have harmed your own Mother over a "drink" of something because you don't want to leave the house. Where I live, your actions of violence toward your Mother today would justify an injunction that would prohibit you from being anywhere near where your Mother lives, works, shops, practices her faith, sees her family, eats out...to protect her from you. You would be living out on the streets unless you have your own money.

More importantly, you would be losing your Mother.

I strongly suggest you reconsider seeing your doctor ASAP and perhaps taking the medication prescribed for you. You are showing signs of anger management problems along with your anxiety. Your actions this morning show that.

We all hope and want you to return to college, and you need help just to get out of the house at the moment.

Perhaps that is one of the reasons you and your brother are not getting along. Maybe he sees it too, and he feels he is protecting his Mother from your anger. Brothers are not always easy to understand.

If you are old enough to be a member in this venue, you are also old enough to understand what I am very worried about, and you can get the professional help you need.

After reading your posts, it appears your anxiety, withdrawal from the world, fear and anger maybe escalating into violence. You have just stuffed so much down inside yourself, maybe the pressure has become to much and you reacted.

I do not want you to continue like you are or to continue to get worse. You know people in this venue are supportive and will be with you every step of the way. But you have reached the point of using violence against your own Mother. You have the opportunity now to stop this and turn your attention to getting professional help to get better. Anxiety is never easy to deal with, but having your brother to possibly have the ability to legally to remove you from the family is irreparable.

I am a woman, and I am reaching out to you.

Become the woman you were created to be, anxiety or no anxiety.

Many of the women in this venue live decent, good lives while knowing anxiety is going to be part of them. They learn to deal with that and some days are difficult, but they do it with help.

Please sit down and write a letter of love and regret to your Mother. Let her know you realize you have a problem that needs help.

Then, and this is hard, write a letter to your brother too.

I am afraid they are only going to accept your behavior for so long before they do something about it.

You are a good young woman and we need to help you get back on the right track of life. To help get your anxiety under control so you can go back to college.

We are here for you. Please write often.

xxxx

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Thank you for replying, thank you for being honest and showing your concern. I liked to say a couple things though. My brother tends to think he's better than everyone and snoot his nose up as if he's better than everyone. He has had plenty of anger streaks, he tried to attack me one time and I kicked him in his fingers to protect myself. I never once made him feel bad about it and still choose not to her tends constantly hold things against people which can become toxic and annoying. Me and my mum tend to argue if stupid things, but I never got upset with her because I couldn't get my own way, I was upset with her reaction after asking her. She say yes to things and start to mutter and moan about it and makes me feel like Im am burden. I using the money I have saved up to fix window. I also I'm not aloud to take anti depressants because I wasn't meant to be prescribed them(long story). My doctor have been very useless when it comes to my anxiety and eating issues so I choose to keep them from knowing to much. I understand why you're concerned about my anger, I had been doing good for a year until i started to put under a lot of stress. I will taking to my therapist about my anger and anxiety. Thank you x

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Dear beautiful young woman,

All the excuses in the world will not undo the anger and violence you exhibited. We all at one time or another try to find a way or explanation to justify actions. That's like trying to explain why a sieve should hold water.

I rarely raise my voice. Just raised that way. But I did several days ago at my sister in law, after her drug addicted son texted a hateful threatening message to my husband. He lives with her and she calls me almost every week wanting to borrow something, rarely repaying or returning anything. I called her and strongly suggested she get a handle on her son, and as she gave a list of excuses,I began to raise my voice louder and louder until she hung up.

I felt horrible. Sent a brief email that no matter what was going on with me, I had no right to speak to her in that way. She and her husband have enough on their shoulders with their son, without me standing on them too.

So, yes I am very concerned for you, and am happy you are going to work with your therapist on your sieve. :)

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Thanks for replying, I don't think that would be possible. He not a very understanding person and doesn't understand anxiety, gad or depression very well and can be quiet cold towards people at times, I don't want to sound like I don't like my brother because I love my family a lot but it can be quiet hard to communicate with him at times but I will try and see what happens

Thank you

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Have you read my letter to you? You write that love your family, but your actions today with the anger and violence don't fly with with your words. Have you given thought to seeing your doctor,as how are you gong to return to college in your current condition? Please think about this and respond, ok?

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Hi there we don't always get on with our siblings there always seemed to be some rivalry with me and my brother growing up. My advice really is to focus on yourself and take responsibility for yourself. Have you had the opportunity to have any counselling as this would be the most positive step forward x

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Hi, thank you for replying, thanks for the advice very helpful and I will seeing therapist or counsellor for soon x

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