And the wall gets higher!: I feel like I'm... - Anxiety Support

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And the wall gets higher!

Finglas-Boy profile image
12 Replies

I feel like I'm scrambling & inching my way up this wall but each time I get anywhere near the summit another layer of bricks appears to thwart my progress! Beginning to think I'll never get over th damn thing!

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Finglas-Boy profile image
Finglas-Boy
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12 Replies
HearYou profile image
HearYou

How about accepting it and learning how to live with it with help?

Finglas-Boy profile image
Finglas-Boy in reply to HearYou

I won't bore you with the reasons, HearYou, but in my case that's easier said than done.

HearYou profile image
HearYou in reply to Finglas-Boy

And I won't bore you either, as I agree in all our cases that's much easier said than done....in each of our unique ways. That's what makes you somehow important to me and my life, and mine in yours. This not some stupid current fad of philosophy. It's just that I am getting older....and don't believe in coincidences or fate or probably any religion, just amazed how the huge open wheels of universes turn up people who end up somehow effecting another's life. Something is going to fall into place for you. I don't know how and I don't know when, but it is. Did not feel this in any of the 50 some posts I read and "listened to" since 2 a.m. You are not a complainer or whiner, just posted the facts. as you see them now. That has great merit. But you compared your life, whether you were aware of it or not, of a very famous character in the old gods whose punishment was pushing up a tremendous weight up a hill only for it to roll back down and he would start the task over again forever. You know who Imean. But you are not going to do that wall forever.

Finglas-Boy profile image
Finglas-Boy in reply to HearYou

Thank you so much for such an encouraging response, HearYou. I truly appreciate it. Like you, I reckon I'm getting older & work has mould end me into quite a cynic.. There again, I'm Irish & so believe in The Little People & The Banshee!!!! 🇮🇪

HearYou profile image
HearYou in reply to Finglas-Boy

My grandfather's name was Christopher Charles Gannon, as Irish as possible, so I appreciate you belief in the little people. I also respect and agree with you that it really gets tiring after awhile when the good natured little people don't just jump in and help us now and then. Keep in touch about that wall. Don't know if you are in Ireland, North Ireland or the US, but bet there is still a few more "jigs" left in you...maybe just enough to knock a darn hole in that wall and dance through instead of climbing over it.

Finglas-Boy profile image
Finglas-Boy in reply to HearYou

Apologies for the delayed response. I've had a really rough trot lately. On Sunday I suffered a seizure lasting 2 hrs in & out of consciousness & now feel like I've been kicked by a horse. It's quite ironic I've cancelled a Dr's appointment coz I'm unwell!

I'm in the UK with work but get to Cork/Dublin 6 times a year to see friends/relatives. (I hail from a small village in Co Cork.However now the UK voted to leave EU we'll be heading back permanently to either Ireland or Germany (wife is German) as I truly feel this country is finished - terrible thing to say, I know.The wall is still there @ this time & with my epilepsy extra rows of bricks are always appearing. There have been times lately when I cannot see a way out. Stay in touch won't you?

HearYou profile image
HearYou

Sorry to hear the news. I have been traveling for business and not on the internet. Well, all I can do is hope all's well whatever decision you must make. you talk about your wall. In the US we have a president with the combination to set off nuclear warheads against such a poor country with a brat for a leader...and Trump wants to build a huge wall between US and Mexico...and where does he think the money is coming from...now he says he'll have Mexico pay for it. Duhhhhhh. Just when your wall seems higher, please take some pleasure in some sick humor that we have a president that was elected by default and he believes he will solve international relations if the other countries pay for them.

We do live in a topsy-turvy world when sometimes one just wants to shout"Give it a rest, already you idiots." xxx

Finglas-Boy profile image
Finglas-Boy in reply to HearYou

Hi HearYou. Hope all is ok with you. The election of Mr Trump is one of those occasions where you know exactly where you were when the news broke. I was on a flight to Dublin & the pilot announced it with the words "are your seat belts fastened, folks"!!

The bonus of having suffered a brain injury which brought me incredibly close to meeting the Grim Reaper is you realise life maybe ain't so bad but it's certainly too short. Repeating those words to myself helps get me rough the dark days.

HearYou profile image
HearYou in reply to Finglas-Boy

I'm ok. Had a day where my patience ran out before my meds did regarding a situation this afternoon/evening. But it will be alright. Hope you are ok.

Finglas-Boy profile image
Finglas-Boy

I'm glad it's the weekend so I can @ least try to relax/sleep. Few days ago I had a real "bells & whistles" seizure (status epilepticus). Was dropping in/out of GM then to Partial Seizure for some 2 hrs. It not only cripples me mentally but physically as well & I desperately need rest. It frustrates me how many folk @ work think a GM seizure is like catching a sickness bug. They continue to phone (Aaaarrrggghhh!!!!).

HearYou profile image
HearYou

How are you doing my Irish friend? Seizure free for the last few days? I had a seisure about 18 months ago...don't remember anything about it or where I was or why. Only know I felt like he**. Husband had to fill me in on the details and how I manage from talking to him in the bedroom and waking up in the hospital for three days with a fractured vertebra from a nose dive on the the wood floor.

Was almost a month before I had any desire to get out of bed or eat.

You are absolutely right...a GM is not just a bug that is going to run its course.

Have you figured a way to go THROUGH that wall instead of climbing over it? Bound to be some cracks in it. Keep in touch.

Finglas-Boy profile image
Finglas-Boy

Hi HearYou. Hope all is ok. I suffered a TBI some years ago which left me an unstable epileptic. Have up to 4 szs a day which can be anything from GM to Partial Sz. Getting quite used to waking up in hospital with tubes coming from places I didn't know I had! Tending to have bad days & wore days @ the moment but I bottle things up as I don't want to bother wife. In the nicest possible way she can't appreciate what's going on in my head, headaches, etc, & I love her too much to have her feel guilty in any way.

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