To go or not to go?!: My fiance is wanting... - Anxiety Support

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To go or not to go?!

Wyominganxiety profile image
13 Replies

My fiance is wanting to go to the pool haul tonight and have a few drinks I can't drink right now on day 9 of citalopram 20mg. We used to go quit a bit but I could have a couple drinks to ease the panic, now I'm just nervous I will have to much anxiety and questions about drinking water

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Wyominganxiety
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13 Replies
littlemissworry profile image
littlemissworry

My sister and I can relate, she has panic attacks when she goes out sometimes and has a few drinks. I don't know when to stop as I find it helps too, I can only avoid it completely if I'm worried 9/10 times I decide to go for it I feel worse for it the next day :( really sucks I used to go out all the time with my fiancé but I worry he'll get fed up of me turning into a wreck every time

Wyominganxiety profile image
Wyominganxiety in reply to littlemissworry

I know exactly how you feel last weekend we tried to go and I had a panic attack and had to leave. I hate to think I was self medicating with alcohol but I definitely was! I miss drinking I enjoyed it alot, not so much the next day! Haha. I thought about trying n.a. beer just to socialize but I know it won't ease the anxiety

Lalakeyss profile image
Lalakeyss

I totally know how you feel. I have a glass of wine and suddenly the world seems so much prettier and I feel a sense of "normalcy" again. The problem with me is, I can't just have ONE glass. Lol. So, I end up having two and three and I'm sh*t the next day. So... I struggle with this decision too. Like, I ask myself, is it worth it? Sometimes... honestly, it is for that moment!🤦🏾‍♀️

Wyominganxiety profile image
Wyominganxiety in reply to Lalakeyss

Yea I haven't tried drinking on my meds yet so honestly makes me anxious about even trying to.

Lalakeyss profile image
Lalakeyss in reply to Wyominganxiety

Oh, I'm not taking any medications. Just drinking period makes me crappy the next day. Very anxious.

Yes, I would not try to drink on meds.

Mpa5524 profile image
Mpa5524

Do what I do, I went out the other night and had an oduls, tastes just like beer and no liquor in it.

HearYou profile image
HearYou

Hi! You are one smart woman to be getting some assistance from a doctor with medication at this moment for your anxiety. Hopefully, that won't be forever as you learn other ways to deal with it. But will take some time.

You are a super smart woman for realizing the medication needs the time and space in your body chemistry to do its work. And not just for a few days. Alcohol can really jam that up.

A third reason you are one smart lady, is you anticipate someone asking why you're not drinking. It's really none of their business, but you're right, someone probably will. You are afraid dealing with that will make you nervous. So choose alternative non-alcohol drinks ahead of time with your man so he works with you as a team and support partner.

Because of our business, my husband and I are at clubs "at sea" for at least seven or more evenings in a row each month. I order something with bubbles or a "virgin" gin and tonic. (Tell the bartender quietly "gin and tonic, hold the gin" and tip him discretely by folding up a bill tightly in your hand and passing it to him/her. After the first time, he/she always remembers for the remaining nights and has it ready for me.)

If your pool hall is more of a beer place, find out ahead of time if it carries non-alcoholic beer. Then at the first order, ask for a glass too and chuck the bottle....makes you a lady and no issues because it has beer color. (remember the tip with the first order...you'll figure out how to do that even if your man insists on ordering or paying for the first round.)

Really like Mpa5524's idea!

Enjoy your time out.

Why not just avoid it if you're just starting medication. Tell them you'll not go this time but will next, you just need this little time and space to get in s better place

Wyominganxiety profile image
Wyominganxiety in reply to

I agree to a point but since taking this medication my anxiety has gotten worse which is a side effect, but I'm scared if I don't push myself a little then I'm going to let my anxiety keep me trapped, but staying in does sound much easier on me

in reply to Wyominganxiety

You said it has made you worse, that isn't giving in, it's a side effect of the drugs which fade overtime. You could go and force yourself that is upto you.

Fearoffear profile image
Fearoffear

I usually make a plan with my husband I will try if he will support me. We talk and set an absolute time we will leave and if I am feeling too anxious we have a code word I say so no one around me knows I have to get out now. I take the keys and sit in the truck and let him finish his beer and say our goodbyes with a she had to go she's feeling under the weather. I usually turn the air on high and breath and relax telling myself how proud I am of myself for trying even if I didn't make it to our designated time. Sometimes I'm doing so well we stay a little longer than our time we agree on. As long as he will support you and give you credit for trying it will get easier. You just need to build your confidence back and why should you let you mind ruin your fun.

noemikahle profile image
noemikahle

I have a glass or two of wine or beer on my meds and it has not done anything different to me than when I was off meds. I did stay away from alcohol initially but now I have been on them for five months. I know everybody is different but this is just my experience. I wouldn't go crazy with drinking anyways but I am more careful because I am on meds but I still like a little drink sometimes.

Wyominganxiety profile image
Wyominganxiety in reply to noemikahle

I do miss drinking more just to relax I might try a glass of wine before I go out see how it goes down then maybe some n.a. beer just don't want to try out of the house and have negative affect

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