Anxiety and loved ones

[Victoria15]

As I have written before, I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks brought on by the sudden death of my mother 2 years ago. I am currently on citalopram and even though it helps, there are days that my anxiety gets the best of me.

I am constantly worried about heath problems and something happen to me that takes me from my two sweet boys. I stress about money issues, bills, paying the overly expensive mortgage so we don't lose our home. Just so much.

My husband has always been supportive. We lost my aunt, my mom and his father within a 5 month period. Lately it is as though he is just fed up with my anxiety. Where he use to talk to me and help me through an attack, now he blows it off and gets ill with me. I can tell he is irritated.

I feel all alone and scared. I have stood by him through the years of recovering from drug addiction and draining our bank accounts. I was always the strong one and now that I need him the most, he acts like I am a nuisance.

Has anyone else been in this situation? If so, do you have any advice? Anxiety sucks!! Panic attacks suck!!

[Anxious2befree]

Sorry to hear that as I have had anxiety and panic for the past 2years but my husband just fobs me off but I think it's because he doesn't understand what I'm going through although he says he is trying to understand he isn't understanding enough. It's debilitating, frustrating and damn right heartbreaking to go through this but I'm thinking of taking him to my psychologist so she can explain to him what it is like and what I'm going through. Take care and stay strong X

[Agora1 in reply to Anxious2befree]

Anxious2befree, not a bad idea for your husband to hear it from a professional. Good Luck xx

[Orpheusss]

That's bad about your husband. Sounds like he has a short memory. Have you tried CBT? It can be effective with anxiety and panic attacks. Don't just rely on the meds alone. Hopefully you will be able to stop taking them if you can address the underlying problems. Long term use of SSRIs like Citalopram can have side-effects, like chronic tiredness, sexual dysfunction etc. Good luck

[Agora1]

Victoria15, unfortunately anxiety becomes "old news" very fast with those closest to us. That in itself makes us feel so alone and so scared. As much as we may give to our family, when we turn around nobody is there for us. It hurts, it hurts a lot. My advice is that now is the time to take care of you since no one seems to be there to hold your hand and say "it's going to be okay". Most of the time that's all that we are asking for. Some validation in what we are dealing with on a daily basis. Losses come down harder on us, we can't handle change, we can't handle normal every day events of life. We worry and stress out at everything. You can be strong again, you will be strong again as soon as you push aside the things you cannot change such as bills, mortgage and money issues. In taking care of yourself you will be in a better frame of mind to accept this as a part of living. Instead of worrying about something happening to you, look forward to years ahead with your boys with a positive approach. If you think negative then your life will be negative. The people we see who always look like they don't have a care in the world and live life to the fullest is because they take life on with a positive approach.

We need to clean house in our minds. Get rid of the things we don't need anymore like the "what ifs" "I can't" "I'm afraid/scared" etc. There are a lot of people who listen to the responses and come back with "but..." We all make choices in how we want our life to be. Whatever is thrown at us is nothing but a challenge which makes us stronger. Victoria, while you are on medication, maybe have some therapy to address all these issues piled high in your mind. Start learning other methods and techniques to quiet down your responses to everyday stress. As you practice you will get stronger. We cannot change other people or their responses to us, we can only change ourselves.

When you need understanding or need to vent, this is the place to come. You'll never be put down or turned away. I promise xx