Why me: My mother doesn't let me see my... - Anxiety Support

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Why me

Pinky0
Pinky0

My mother doesn't let me see my white friend from college who I said I will see some time as its been years. She has no problem if I would want to see asian friends but I have no courage to see them because they have all moved on married/kids. And there is me still with my parents. My parents didn't do a good job at teaching me my language properly and I'm too scared to meet my asian friends. My mom always compares me with others. She thinks I'm going to do bad things like my older sister if I meet white friends. I feel like dying. I am home with them for their sake. I'm so alone. I can't invite them at home because I'll be watched closely. And embarrassed.

10 Replies
oldestnewest

Hi there how old are you? Our parents are a big influence in our lives but you are your own person and responsible for yourself and your future. Make choices and decisions that suit you and make you happy instead of trying to make others happy. Sometimes we have to go it alone to be true to ourselves x

Pinky0
Pinky0 in reply to Nicki1984

Let's just say I left secondary school back in 2002. I am well old enough. My mum has had to deal with alot from my older sister. Which is possibly in my opinion why she has so many trust issues with me. I've not done anything bad in the past. I just want to live my life. I love my parents and they do not deserve the treatment they have got from my sister. On one hand I am here for them as they are approaching mid 60s and to help them. On the other hand they won't let me see friends. And if I did invite them no doubt they'd be comparing me to how mature and talkative my friends are.

Nicki1984
Nicki1984 in reply to Pinky0

Then I think we are of similar age! I am also a younger sibling. Make it clear to your parents how much you love and care for them and how you are nothing like your sister and you are your own person. Directing their trust issues on you because of your sister is not fair. A good relationship should not have those expectations and should have healthy boundaries. Your life your choice x

Pinky0
Pinky0 in reply to Nicki1984

Thankyou. Because of my situation sometimes I'd rather not reveal my age. They are nice parents but when my mother does say things about me, it's not pretty and very upsetting. I've tried asking my other sister who I get along with to ask my parents if they can help me move out to manage on my own. Unfortunately my mom just said I was up to something and planning something or I'm seeing someone behind their back. Honestly I just feel so insulted. They will never change. If I bring my friends home (they are school friends and college) then they see me in this state I'm in that will be bad! x

Nicki1984
Nicki1984 in reply to Pinky0

It sounds like you need to live independently of your parents i.e. Moving out this does not have to be on your own could be a house share etc. Do you work and are financially independent? X

Pinky0
Pinky0 in reply to Nicki1984

I do, I earn my own money. I don't ask them for any. The problem is I feel I'm being treated this way because of my parents being hurt by my sisters, but I would never actually say this to my mom because it would hurt her.

Nicki1984
Nicki1984 in reply to Pinky0

You don't need to say it but it may be a natural time now to move out. You may find this will make your relationship with them better x

Pinky0
Pinky0 in reply to Nicki1984

By the way my mum is not racist, she just doesn't want me to end up like my sister who used to hang around people who drank etc. Don't take it the wrong way!

Hidden
Hidden in reply to Pinky0

You're a Muslim ?

Hidden
Hidden

I’d have a talk with your parents about this. Lay it all out on the table. I feel it would be beneficial to you and then.

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