Whirlwind of feelings and emotions

[Jmerrick22]

The past two days I feel really weird. I know I have depersonalization, I almost sometimes feel like I'm dead or I died . I know I'm weird I guess. My anxiety has me to the point I randomly wanna cry at times . Like I'm not happy with my job anymore and I don't even wanna go to work I keep thinking there's all kinds of stuff wrong with me or I'm gonna drop over at any minute. Someone please tell me I'm not alone or the only one that feels this way . I hate how anxiety like takes over your thinking like everything's wrong or bad things are gonna happen . Like lately I'm terrified of something happening to my mom and we're very close like I can't handle that , and there's nothing wrong with her . I need medication but I tried like five already and they all cause me side effects and I feel like just giving up but I wanna be happy and feel more like me , I feel like I need to learn how to live again , if that makes sense

[elizabethbinion]

You are most definitely not alone. I have been this way for 4 months. Mine is partly due to anemia and now my thyroid is whacked out, but I have all the same issues you have. I had to take a leave of absence from work but I'm scheduled back next week and have no idea how I'll cope!

[HopingCat]

Are you taking anything for it? I am getting a new psychiatrist and hoping he knows more about this hell depersonalization/derealization and can help. I had this almost 6 months now and it's pure hell. The first months were the worst and I can function but I still feel the feel on top of me. I am starting to think I can't not fully beat this without medication

[Jmerrick22 in reply to HopingCat]

I have this for alittle over 8months and it's quite annoying . I think a lot of it has to do with my job and the high stress . I hope someone can figure it out and get me back to somewhat normal

[HopingCat in reply to Jmerrick22]

If is due to high stress I believe that once you fix that then the depersonalization will go. I don't know. My psychiatrist says I got this crap from anxiety which I never suffered from until this hell came upon me. Unless I had some anxiety issue I didn't know about. It's very confusing

[Jmerrick22 in reply to HopingCat]

I've tried like five different meds already all five me bad side effects except Prozac. Cymbalta lexapro Paxil Zoloft all gave me side effects .

[HopingCat in reply to Jmerrick22]

Were you on the for long? They say that side effects fade after a while

[Jmerrick22 in reply to HopingCat]

The Prozac was the easiest adjusting to me . My whole thing is I had a panic attack last November and it scared the freakin crap out of me , I was convinced I was dying that day, and since then I haven't felt right . The depersonalization started then and I've had anxiety off and on since . I get paranoid sometimes and I just keep thinking I'm stuck feeling this "dead inside " feeling forever. I hope to find a good psychiatrist and therapist that can get me through this . A lot of this started years ago when I was questioning who I was .. sexuality wise . I'm gay , and I hid it for so long I feel like it left me psychological damage. And I crave that attention from another boy , like just being able to be with one and hug me and tell me everything ok , cuddling wouldn't bother me either . Idk some days I just wanna cry . I'm so complicated

[E--- in reply to Jmerrick22]

👋 hi Jmerrick22

I'm so saddened by the experiences you have gone through 🙁x

You come across as a wonderful caring passionate man and someone somewhere out there there will be a guy who just like yourself - is frightened and lost and longing for affection and warmth and passion like heaven has just opened its doors to - and longing to meet that special one who is you x

Please don't fight your feelings - go out there and hold your head high - you have absolutely no need to feel you have to hide who you are - you are special and loving - doesn't matter if we love black or white or orange.... you are free to love who you want - nobody has any hold over any of us ! My nephew is gay and oh boy he is the most fantastic amazing wonderful loving person I have ever had in my life - he's found Mr right and married him in the most loving relationship ever and wonderful ceremony x I truly hope your Mr right comes along and I may be wrong but - I think that this is what you truly need and not a psychiatrist or therapist .

Please keep in touch and let me know how things go I truly wish you all the happiness in the world .

Elle x 🌹

[mrmasatee]

I feel the same way, 2 weeks ago I was convinced I was gonna have a heart attack, went to the ER twice that week and visited my doctor. Everything was fine heart was very healthy. I still felt like they missed something I was truly convinced that I knew better than they did. This week I'm scared my kidneys are unhealthy, despite my doctors telling me multiple times my organs are very healthy. It's a horrible plague we share, over active minds and terrible thoughts. Just remember you will be okay if your doctor says your fine take their word for it( which sounds ridiculous) trust me I know how it feels.