Anxiety Support
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I don't know anymore

Will things get better im becoming a slave to my anxiety and depression... i want to get better, i want to stop ignoring my friends, go out, let someone hold my hand, let someone kiss me without feeling like im about to have a stroke

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All I can tell is from my own experience and that is that it can and will get better if you want it to. I won't lie and tell you that it is easy and happens over night, because it didn't for me. It has taken me a lot of hard work, support of a good GP and friends and lots of trial and error, but I am better than I was at the start of all this. I still have bad days, but they are a lot less than they were and I am still going through a stessful time with a bad divorce which is not helping matters.

Find support groups in your area that you can go to for help. I've attend courses via my NHS authority for stress control and understanding anxiety and depression. There might be similar options in your area.

If you have a good friend that you can talk to in confidence why not invite them for coffee. Find a nice quiet cafe to go to and once you get used to that meet more and more friends and in busier places. It is all about setting goals and not punishing yourself if you have to leave early. Learn techniques to use when you are feeling panicked or out of control.

Learn to be happy and comfortable with yourself and give yourself the praise you are truly due. If you are happy and relaxed with yourself, then you will find someone to hold hands with.

If you want to talk then you can send me a message. I have lots of things that I have tried, because I wanted to learn more techniques. The ones I do every day include journaling, gratutide, meditation and I have started reading again.

Take care.

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I have trouble leaving home. I started writing since i have issues when it comes to talking sometimes my mind is all over and i become too overwhelmed to say what's wrong... doing yoga also i heard it help a little

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That is good that you are doing yoga. Tia Chi is the exercise I did to help me many years ago to maintain my blood pressure. Also reducing refined sugars and processed foods from your diet can help as well. I also stopped drinking coffee and alcohol to help myself. I didn't drink much alcohol, but when I became ill I found I was drinking more and more and binge drinking, so I just gave it up altogether. Giving up coffee was good, because I found I didn't miss it and now it only takes one cup of coffee to get me a caffine rush. :-D

I found that when my mind was just rushing with thoughts that just sitting down and writing whatever came into my head helped. I didn't over analyse what I had written but looked on it at a brain dump of my confused miind.

I soon learned that I felt better if I ensured that I kept a journal of my thoughts and ensured that at the end of each entry I list at least 3 things I am grateful for that day. :-D Now I start each day by thinking of 3 things I am grateful for and I write 3 in my dairy at night. I also do a small mediation before I go to sleep which includes a bit on gratitude as well. :-D

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That's what im doing too cutting back on a few things and writing really helping. Thank you so much, you really get it

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I was told by people to give myself a shake and get on with it. So I get how it feels to want to get better and have a head full of cluttered thoughts and no idea of how to get better. I also understand that what works for one person my not for another and that it is good to share what I have tried as it may work for someone else even if it didn't for me.

Take care.

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There are very few things in the world you can be absolutely certain about but one of them is that you are not going to have a stroke. You are far, far too young for that. But for some reason your nerves have become stressed and are blighting your life. So it really is time for you to take control of your recovery and cease being a slave to anxiety and the depression it brings with it.

The way to do this is very simple: you have to stop saturating your sensitised nervous system with fear and you can only do that by accepting all the bad feelings for the time being and cease fighting them. Fighting causes more stress and strain, your nervous system has had enough of that. Instead you must face all the symptoms of anxiety calmly with the minimum of fear you can muster. After all, the symptoms and bad feelingsare not caused by physical illness but by the fake illnesses of anxiety disorder. And because they are fake they may be able to frighten you but they can never harm you, disable you, kill you or send you crazy. Anxiety does not have the power to do that.

So I say Accept these fake nervous symptoms without fear and in the fullness of time your shattered nerves will recover and so will you. But you must practice Acceptance without fear which although simple to understand takes practice and persistance.

When recovery comes you will be free to rejoin your friends but do remember: you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince.

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Thank you and i really am trying. Being able to get out my house without feeling paralyzed with fear is my number one goal right now.

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I have been there. I started by taking a walk round my garden then I would increase how much further I went every day. I also did things like going to get my shopping at 2:00 a.m. in the morning when I knew the local 24hr shop would be quite. Took me a lot of self control and feelings of being scared and sick to do that, but each time I went out I got better and better. Sometimes I wouldn't even manage to get to the shop before I had to go home,but rather than get really angry with myself about it I started to tell myself that it was just a blip and that it would be better the nest time I went out. I use the mantra "Don;t be so hard on yourself" to remind myself that it is okay to not achieve all my goals everytime I go out. I still get anxious when I am with a lot of people and I do suffer from sweat pouring off me, feeling sick and raised heart rate, but I have techniques that I use to stay in control and I always carry a bottle of water so that I can sip that as I feel that helps. I also carry tissues to help when I have sweat pouring off my forehead. I do find that I get odd looks, but I try to ignore them because those people don't know what I am going through.

When I set my goals for going out I always have stages in my goals so that I can feel happy about each goal. Everything from unlocking the front door to walking to the gate, making it the lamp post, then the next lamp post, end of the street, etc, etc, etc, walking back in the front door. Giving myself a big hug for achieving my goals.

Always try again and don;t give up. Have rewards for when you make it. My rewards were all health related. Nice bubble bath, doing my nails, luxury fruit smoothie. Or you could even try putting money in a jar for each step of your goals that you complete and then use the money for a big treat that you want.

I also used a pedometer and the goal of completing a charity walk (I did the New Moon in Edinburgh which is part of the Moonwalk to raise money for breast cancer) as an insensitive. That was 6.5 miles that I had to walk for the charity. It was great because it got me out of the house, got me exercising every day and eating healthy and also mixing with other people.

I have other ideas I can give you if you need more help or ideas.

Let me know how you get on.

Take care

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Ok you literally just gave the best ideas. Ok yeah little by little make it to the door then by the mailbox then to the sidewalk

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Great. Glad I could be of help. Let me know how you get on.

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Definitely i can't tell you how much i appreciate what you just told me

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Just reading all your replies and you are an angel! Such kind and reassuring words that offer such hope. Sorry that you have to go through a divorce - must be so stressful. This anxiety is crazy stuff all brought on by our internal reactions to stress. 🌷

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I totally agree about anxiety being crazy stuff. My personality did a total flip at times and I would shout and get angry at things I would never have gotten angry at before. I also slept for days at my worst which was really strange, but the one thing I missed the most was my self-confidence and the enjoyment I got from my coaching.

Thank you for your kind words. I just feel that there are too many people in the world criticizing others and not enough willing to provide encouragement and suggestions of what may help.

Take Care.

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As I sit here fighting off maybe my 1000th anxiety attack in my lifetime, it's very clear we are all connected through this awful condition... I'm 48 and had my first "official" attack when I was 18 but I'm pretty sure I was having them before that. Living with this is so hard and at times I feel like I go back to square one. Ive been through not wanting to leave the house or only being able to go to a place that's close to a hospital. These things sound so irrational but, to us, they are normal. I think the thing that helps me the most is knowing I'm not alone. And neither are you. Just don't give up. Things will get better. There will always be challenges and setbacks but you are stronger than those. Just by writing this, I'm fighting off my monster. And I feel better. Sending you prayers of healing and peace.

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Im still at that ''afraid to leave the house stage'' but i keep on trying and thank God for this site and great advices i finally found people going thru the same battle as me and understand what im going thru.. Sending you prayersand hugs

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I'm fighting one off right now as well, and my medicine isn't working. I'm trying to practice acceptance and not let the fear sink in, but it's hard to fight off the thought that maybe it's something else. Mine have come back with a vengeance after a year of relief, and I can't believe it. I hear myself saying the same things, feeling the same way as when this all started ten years ago when I was 32.

It is so comforting to know I'm not the only one going through this, because oftentimes I feel so very alone. Some days you really do just want to give up, and today was one of those days for me.

Thank you for your post. It gave me some comfort as I ride out this attack. I'm glad you're feeling better. Sending prayers right back to you.

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Yeah some days are just tiring. Most times i can't enjoy my good days cause im afraid of what's going to happen on the bad days....and you're not alone trust me all of us are right on this road with you 💙

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