I don't know what I'm feeling anymore. It used to be mostly anxiety but I'm so depressed now. I'm on meds that I have been on for 3 years and now I just cry all the time. Everything feels hopeless. I feel so down like life is just to hard to keep living. And I don't know how to explain this, but I don't want to kill my self, but always think if I were just to die in an accident or something it would be for the best. I had a major surgery last month and keep thinking it would have been better if I hadn't made it through. But I wouldn't ever kill myself. It's just like it would be fine if something just took me out of my misery. I don't know if I'm just asking advice or why I am posting this honestly.