Bad day today

[Emest86]

So I try my best to only post positive stuff on here but today I'm struggling with positives to find. I'm on holiday and tonight took my little lad to the arcade on site which I've done every night but for some reason my anxiety went crazy and I had to lie and say my ibs was starting to get back to the van I have a lump in my throat my jaw is hurting my back is hurting and my pulse is so fast. My head just couldn't cope and I only lasted 15 minutes before legging it out. My doctor prescribed me some diazepam 2mg for the holiday and I had one this afternoon but I'm trying not to take too many as I don't want to be addicted to them. So I'm only taking two tablets on the bad days. But the mornings are rough I feel like I'm hungover and I've not drank in years. Xx

[Jeff1943]

Holidays always seem to aggravate anxiety with me too, Heaven knows why, but Ernest86 just take the 2mg diazepam, it's a special occasion and a few diazepams for a week or so will not make you addicted. You have to take them for much longer than that, months and months before addiction becomes an issue. I know, I became addicted to them in the 1970s before their addictive nature was known but all I did was to slowly reduce the dosage over a few months and problem solved. Now I just take them occasionally. My advice would be to take a few each day you're on holiday for the sake of your lad. I can remember being on holiday in a caravan with three grandsons back in the 1990s and I certainly didn't hold back on the valium, the important thing was to give them a good time. Which reminds me of the famous saying by Tallulah Bankhead who once said: "I can assure you that cocaine certainly isn' t addictive and I should know, I've been taking it for 16 years." !!!

[Jeff1943 in reply to Jeff1943]

Oh, and P.S., I know you've read Claire Weekes' wonderful book 'Self help with your nerves', well nows the chance to start practicing that acceptance. Enjoy the rest of your hols.

[Emest86 in reply to Jeff1943]

Yes the only reason my dr gave them me was because I said about my lad deserving a good holiday. I'll have the two again tomorrow and see how I go. Tomorrow is the last day really so I need to make sure it's a good day for him. Thank you for your replies, it means a lot!! I can't seem to get my head around the acceptance part from self help for your nerves but I'm hoping that when I get my appointment through for the psychiatrist he will be able to help me understand it more. Xx

[Jeff1943]

Ernest, acceptance can be very difficult to get your head round, sometimes if you can only feel the acceptance for a few moments (called glimpsing) that's all you can expect for starters, then build on it. All these bad feelingS we have aren't real illness, you know that, they're all fake, it's laughable really if it wasn't for the impact on our lives, laughable that we can be bullied by a big nothing when really our vital signs are all 100%. Acceptance takes practice and persistance but it always works in the end.

I think the reason we're extra anxious when on holiday is that we're out of our comfort zone. I laugh in the face of anxiety, you won't get the better of me.