Enduring life rather than enjoying it!

[AnnieKing]

Hi, I'm Annie, 68 years old and a Mum and Grandma. I've been suffering lots of physical symptoms lately which I'm told are the result of anxiety. I'm jolted awake early in the morning with a jolt in my chest and a thumping heart and feeling of breathlessness. I have trembling across my shoulders and down my arms, a tightness in my neck and head and generally feel very weak. I've experienced panic attacks on and off since my teens but have had long periods of being able to do pretty much anything. Now I'm reluctant to leave the house and am constantly making excuses. I turn down opportunities to do lovely things because of fear. When I do go I feel as though I'm just enduring things not enjoying them and only relax when it's over and I can go home! I've had blood tests and was diagnosed as having a vitamin D deficiency. I was prescribed Propanolol 40mg twice a day and did feel better after the first dose but not since. I'm on day 4 of Mirtazapine 15mg but so far just feel incredibly drowsy which has added to my anxiety. Supposed to be going away fir the night to see friends, it should/ would have been great but I've cancelled with a feeble excuse because I just can't face it. Every now and then I feel 'normal ' for an hour or so and want to bottle that feeling and keep it for ever!

Would love to hear from anyone who can empathise and encourage........and to those of you out there struggling I do send my love

[Nicki1984]

Hi Annie have you tried any counselling or therapy would really recommend it. There are some good self help books DARE by Barry McDonagh and Anxiety Panicking about Panic by Justin Fletcher worth a read. Just keep looking after yourself read a good book, soak in the bath, meditate etc. X

[Agora1]

Hi AnnieKing, you have such a warm, beautiful smile despite your fears. I would imagine nobody can quite understand the fear you feel. Being jolted awake first thing in the morning is anxiety's way of greeting us when the cortisol is at it's highest. Adrenaline floods our body causing all sorts of horrific feelings. All non-life threatening, however our mind is telling us different and so the cycle of fear begins. I never liked feeling the incredible drowsiness that medication can do to us. I didn't know which was worse, anxiousness or drowsiness. I always felt like you did in feeling more ashamed at having to make up excuses because "anxiety" alone didn't seem warranted enough to miss an event.

We didn't choose to have anxiety disorder and so the guilt of having needs to be forgotten. How many times I said to myself, if only I could bottle the euphoric feeling of the good days, I'd be rich I certainly do empathize with anyone going through this and to encourage you by letting you know there is a way out. Keep using the forum for support and understanding. We are all here to help each other because we care. x

[BELLA50613]

I severe paniac attacks ..nights are the worse, i usually do crossword puzzles to occupy your mind.. It does help.

[Chrissyann1551]

Hi Annie, I'm 65 year old a mother and grandmother, and I can relate to your fears and anxiety, I think I've lost the joy of living. Isn't that a sad state to be in. It appears that cortisol levels are at their highest when fist awake, an awful feeling of dread flows over me and I feel physically ill especially in the early hours. But I'm trying to make my life busy by distraction. I attend an craft group, art group and a live more worry less meeting, it does help. My councillor has given me some tools to help with my negative feelings. I have to imagine a filing cabinet with as many compartments that I need. When past events or sad feelings come along that bother me, I file them away, knowing that they are always there to be reviewed when necessary. It's a way of acknowledging your fears and putting them somewhere, rather than trying to forget or hide them.

I do take a small dose of propananol everyday plus an antidepressant, I am hoping to stop these eventually. I'll try anything rather than suffer this fear, I listen to music, meditate, and go out for a walk somewhere beautiful, these have proved very beneficial. I hope you feel better soon and can enjoy the meet up with friends and life is good for you again.

[skyraknight]

You can face it and you should face it every opportunity you get! Because everytime you face it you only get stronger and everytime you give up you get weaker. Ask yourself what's the worst that can happen? Face it!

PS You are bright shiny soul! Go out, make new friends! There are many people who will enjoy your company and your anxiety may become thing of the past fast

[Pat9]

Hi Annie so lovely to meet you I am the same age as you and completely relate to everything you have said and suffer the same, I keep on top of the feelings as much as I can using Mindfulness it does help I also read a lot of books one in particular helped me was Mindfulness for Worriers by Padraig O'Morain he has wrote 3 or 4 books all of which I have read and which helped a lot. I always canx events my family are used to me doing this now and I don't know if that will ever change as like you fear seems to rule life, however on saying that I went out to lunch yesterday with my husband and two of my daughters to a craft center and I had put it off for months and they kept asking me yesterday I went and although being thrashed with anxiety and fear I made it and it went well but as you say I did not calm down properly until I was home. no real answers but no your not alone and many will empathise xx