Having an attack right now

[janaa1]

I'm writing this right smack in the middle of a panic attack. Its 3:45am, and I woke up to use the restroom. When I laid back down, I felt a rushing feeling that started at my head and ran down. My heart started racing, I'm shaky, and my stomach hurts. I know it's anxiety and nothing else (I've fought this thought for years, and now I just try to relax, breathe, and go with it). I also drank a bunch of water, and took 0.25 Xanax at 3:30 (it usually kicks in after 25 minutes). This seems to be the only thing that truly stops these attacks in their tracks. I've taken the same dosage on an emergency basis for almost 10 years, although I went over a year without taking any. I'm so bitterly frustrated that my anxiety is back after all that time of feeling great.

I also wanted to ask if anyone has ever felt anxiety symptoms following a massage. I had one day before yesterday, and I almost fainted about a half hour afterwards. Since then, my general anxiety has been heightened, and this is my first (and hopefully only) panic attack since. I was doing fairly well before that.

I see my therapist tomorrow (yay!) and I will address all this more with her.

My symptoms seem to be subsiding a bit now--it's 3:54am. I'm feeling a little bit more relaxed.

Gosh, anxiety is the pits, y'all. What I wouldn't give for a full night of uninterrupted sleep.

[Ashlyxo]

There is such thing as relaxation anxiety. I'm not sure that is the exact term for it but its when your body starts to unwind and your mind becomes relaxed, you don't know what to do about it and you panic. I tend to get anxious when I wake up in the middle of the night and when I wake up in the morning. For me I think it is because I am really confused and half asleep and I feel out of control of my mind and body. I panic about not being in control. I'm afraid to lose my mind... I am really happy that you were able to alleviate the symptoms. Xanax has always been my go to as well.

[janaa1 in reply to Ashlyxo]

Thank you for responding, this is so right on! It's all about being in control for me, and I absolutely hate when my thoughts run wild. So far, I struggle with reining them in. Also, when I have sensations in my body that I can't identify or control, it leads to panic. Every single panic attack I have happens when I am relaxed and calm (which is why I often freak out out that it's something else). I think that's the hardest part of it for me.

Xanax has gotten such a bad rap, and that sucks because for me, it is the only thing that truly works. I've tried a ton of other meds (antidepressants, which I don't understand why these are prescribed for anxiety), and they actually made it worse.

I feel pretty much all the way better now, which is a giant relief. Hopefully I can sleep again.

Thanks again for your spot-on reply.

[Ashlyxo in reply to janaa1]

People with anxiety tend to be hyper-sensitive to every sensation in the body. When you are calm and relaxed, I feel that we panic because it is a new feeling that our body can't reconlgnize or understand. It's crazy.. I am working on training my mind to feel other emotions aside from worry and panic.

[janaa1 in reply to Ashlyxo]

Yes!!!! I am aware of every feeling my body has. If it's new or different, panic is sure to come. I have a lot of work to do with training my mind and thoughts. It's so much more difficult when we're tired. I have had the worst insomnia for the last two months, and I know that's a major culprit of these attacks. It's that tired, out of control feeling you described.