Anxiety Support
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Trying to keep my cool

I'm currently holding back trying not to explode in a full blown panic attack, I've been doing so well at not having a major panic attack for more than a month now I don't know why suddenly I feel so anxious and feel so scared to blow up in an attack. I've been feeling very unmotivated lately and it sucks. Even though I survive each day without having a panic attack, I still feel anxiety. Feelings of derealization, scared of dying, ugggg.

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Me too! Same hell for 4 months. I am so damn tired of flighting these stupid attacks. I am tired of feeling dream like and I am 100 percent tired of walking around like an emotionless zombie. I'm mentally exhausted. Oh and I am 500000000 percent tired of depersonalization.... horrific.

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read this. it helps me, hopefuly you too :)

wikihow.com/wikiHowTo?searc...

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Allloo. The problem with feeling poo is that the more it happens the more we focus on it. Pathways in the brain that are used the most basically become stronger and more ingrained so to counteract that try a joy diary. When i first started i truly believed there wqs lots i 'should' be grateful for but didnt so i must have been an ungrateful mare. Anyhoo i then realised this was about anything that made me feel happy even for just a nanosecond. So it started with a flower...i was watching the raindrops on a petunia...it was so beautiful. Another thing was i smiled at something and it felt good. I was able to eat a mouthful if food without panicking, a big bumbly bee was enjoying the flowers on my balcony, my shoes didnt rub and my undies didnt go up my bum when i went for a walk!!

Now these things may sound trivial but when i write them down later it made me smile again. Just by practicing this the times of happiness grew and grew. See what makes you smile because nit matter how anxious ir depressed there will be things that you are just not seeing.

Try it 😀

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I had my first protracted episode of depersonalisation in 1980. The second in 1994 and the third this year. My memories of the first two episodes are that it took me about three years each time before I felt well again and enjoyed a constant absence of frightening and distressing symptoms. I wanted to blow my brains out the second time, because the physical in-head symptoms were so intense.

The very first thought my brain would generate, even before I'd wake up in the mornings, was "do I still have these symptoms"? Of course, that thought in itself would mean symptoms, all bleedin' day, every bleedin' day!

Trying to get yourself not to feel anxious when you know you are is silly, if you don't mind my saying so. It's like trying to tell yourself you don't have cancer, when you know you do.The only way to get through anxiety is to go through it. Not on your todd, of course - find someone you can trust and who will know how to direct you into the wave of the anxiety. Once there, you may feel like the wave will drown you, but you know it won't. But by pushing through that wave, you'll get through to the calmer waters beyond it. Your stress hormone levels are bound to be elevated and avoiding anxious feelings, thoughts and sensations will simply prolong this bio-chemical imbalance AND your symptoms. Because you're not allowing your symptoms to reach their natural zenith, your body is being deprived of that natural release event, when your amygdala is finally made aware that the 'threat' it has been reacting to has passed and switches off flooding you with stress hormones, resetting your stress response to more 'normal' levels, where you feel anxious only in response to actual threat, which immediately subsides when the threat passes. That's my take on this awful disorder, after an adult life peppered with protracted episodes of sheer hell because of it. I know the fear it causes. The fear you've lost your marbles for the rest of your life. That's your brain lying to you out of fear. You WILL get better, either BECAUSE of yourself or DESPITE yourself. I usually don't care which way the relief comes, lol! The fear that your life is going to be like this every waking moment until death. It will NOT be. I know it makes you feel sorry for yourself. It does me. But that just makes the symptoms worse. Because I know I 100% beat this, TWICE already, I know I'll beat it THIS time, too, eventually. It takes time. It takes not blaming yourself for becoming ill. If you developed a physical illness or condition you wouldn't blame yourself or be blamed by others for that. It's OKAY TO GET SICK. You're a human, not a robot. Humans get sick. It sucks. It makes life awful, while it lasts. But, until you die, you can't stop it. That's the way life is. I have found doctors and psychologists and psychiatrists to be absolutely useless when it comes to the kind of suffering this condition causes when active. Unless you've been here, like we have, you don't know what you're talking about, medical degree or no. This will not kill you. You are not mad. It's bloody awful, it makes you feel depressed, it makes you feel frightened like a terrified child. But it won't kill you and if you try just to accept that, for now, this is how you feel and you go on about your life as usual, you will end up curing yourself of these frightening, head-wrecking sensations, thoughts and all the fears they bring along as your brain tries to find an answer to what is going on. This will not beat you, if you decide not to be beaten by it. Honestly. It gets better with time and trusted support and talking about it. I know this, because twice now, I've hauled myself up by my boots, on my own, without doctor help (because they're not really that good when it comes to anxiety symptoms, in my experience of them). Talk with other sufferers, if you can. You'll see just how common this is and that you're not alone and not crazy! Good luck!

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