Hi,
I feel so pathetic and should pull myself together, but as soon as i open my eyes i dread getting up and going out, i have no pride in myself i look and feel terrible. My worst fear is something bad will happen to me, when I'm not at work i don't leave the house. Sorry for miserable post, i sound like a right oddball. Anyone got any tips
Everyone no matter who has at some point in their life done something they are proud of(Good or bad) I am agoraphobic yet can go out (ok with meds) or IF I have someone with me I can enjoy Driving my car! (Rare but I can do it on a good day) I am not proud of myself or the situation I am in physically or mentally ,But I am proud of some of the things I have done!(or have been told I have done, (I have a bit of a block where I cant remember how my breakdown happened or for a number of years inbetween me getting to where I am now!) like I say I am not a "Proud person" but I have to be properly dressed clean and presentable at all times even when sitting at home alone! and so many of us have a dread that something terrible is going to happen to us I hear a car backfire I drop like a stone! and thats no joke! Bonfire night freaks me out ! I cant offer advice but can tell you how I try to deal with my problems, != I dress as if I have an interview ,It makes me feel good 2= I think of all the good things that happen everyday and that does have a calming effect, 3= Although I am agoraphobic I try to go out when I am able even if it is just to the communual garden (no one else uses it so I am just about able to cope! plus just by doing that I am able on occassion to go to my local shop ,admittedly it takes a lot out of me and I would sleep for hours afterwards and may not go out again for days after!
Like I say NOT advice but things that I find helpful ! hope you feel able to cope more soon and stop calling yourself an oddball we are all blooming odd I dont even know what is odd and what is normal! Most important just remember there is only One you but there are loads of other odd people in the world !
Feel compassion for yourself, even the least little thing. Congratulate yourself for getting out of bed. You are not an oddball. Fear creeps in and takes over. We all have fears!
This is just like me and I'm 22 but i have all these horrible symptoms lately and obviously i think of the worst so back to the doctors on monday for me, i can't concentrate on anything else other than how ill i am and what serious illness i must have, all i have is negative thoughts everyday and feeling very ill, it sucks!
You sound so much like me, when i catch friends or family looking at me i think they know I'm ill, as I'm writing this i know it sounds ridiculous but it doesn't stop the feeling. I feel so selfish especially with whats gone on in london and manchester there are so meny people worse off then me, but i can't stip this feeling
Yes i know how you feel, i can't think of anything positive or something to feel excited about, all i feel is negative thoughts and why do i feel like this and will i ever be normal again, lately i have been having a headaches for 1 week now and lasting the whole day so obviously i think i have a brain tumor. I wish i just didn't have this mind set all the time
A resource for recovery. I found it interesting. How to stop fighting and start recovery
I know exactly how you feel. I want to do things to make life better and easier but can't seem to let go of the fear. I also have panic attacks so once the fear starts you can bet a panic attack is coming. I force myself to spend time with family and occasionally friends and I feel so guilty because they deserve all of me not just leftover fragments. Fear is not just a four letter word it's a way of life for some of us. I pray you'll find that will to get up and do anything no matter how small and go from there. I try to remind myself I have this one life and I have to choose how I'm going to live it. I have to believe I have some control even when it all feels out of control. xxx.
I can't stop thinking of my symptoms
Can't stop thinking about my heart 
I can't stop with this thinking!
