Ugh so sick of it

I am convinced that depersonalization comes to me first and then panic. I was just sitting and all of a sudden I feel that detachment coming and my eyes and body get this sick vision and feeling of fake dream. It's so hard to explain. But I got the same feeling 18 years ago when this first happened to me from marijuana. I'm not high now so why does it keep happening. What is wrong with me! This is so terrifying. I just want to cry all day. I just don't get it and it's so frustrating that people don't understand me because it sounds insane! I don't know what else to do.


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