So I'm trying to go to sleep but I'm trying to control myself from having an anxiety attack. I'm just feeling really worried right now about my baby in my belly, I hope he is ok, I'm a first time mom so I worry and overthink a lot about everything concerning my health and body, and it doesn't help that I struggle with coping with anxiety. As I'm trying to sleep I have this feeling of fear I'm trying to not escalate into a panic attack, but I realized something. Maybe I've become so used to panicking and overthinking and feeling scared every time I worry that something might be wrong, that I feel like I have to have a panic attack in order to confront it? Like maybe me having a panic attack is a way for me to feel like I'm fixing my issues? Even though I hate the feeling of derealization and panic attacks, I feel like it's become now a natural response everytime I feel fearful about something, that fight or flight feeling, but times 10. I guess when I look at it that way it helps me feel like everything is gonna be ok, and I'm just an obsessive over thinker that needs to chill... just hard to deal with sometimes, I'm still in the process of conquering my anxiety so I can enjoy life again like I used too.