Is this true?

Went to see my phycologist today and again explained that I am still stuck in this God awful dream land depersonalization/derealization hell... and he tells me " you keep giving it names but it's just anxiety" he told me that he believes I have generalize anxiety with some panic and some type is detachment anxiety... whatever Anwyays, I asked him if anxiety can make you have intense vision and also sensitive and aware of sounds and sorroundings and he said YES.... and I told him that's called depersonalization/derealization!!!! 🤦🏽‍♀️UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

He's like " you keep saying that and you can give it whatever name you want but it's still part of anxiety".

I told him that I can call some of these attacks by just thinking about it. I could be just still and all of a sudden I get the rush of fear with vibrating body and brain and I feel completely detatched from my body and like everything is fake and he told me to call the episode so he can tell me what to do. I'm like NOOOOOOOOOOO I'm not doing that! It's damn terrifying and straight up freaky! Ugh I'm tired of not knowing how to explain this nightmare!

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  • HopingCat, I understand how frustrating it can be when we feel our words aren't getting across. I was reading up on depersonalization/derealization just today with you in mind. It is a real off shoot of anxiety.. Severe anxiety that is. It's the mind's way of protecting us from immense stress by putting us in a place where nothing feels real (an escape). Where we don't even feel real, like we are watching ourselves go through the motions. It is scary as well as giving us the feeling that we may be losing ourselves. The article reassured that as uncomfortable as the feeling was, we were not going insane. The fact that the thought even comes into play makes the doctors know we are quite sane. There were some suggestions in what can be done to bring us back to reality by putting our hands under cold water to experience that we are real and we do feel. Pinching ourselves, again to reinforce the fact that we feel, we are alive, we are real. I'm sorry you go through this everyday. I hope one day soon, this feeling fades away for you. My best x

  • Thank you.. I have done so many things to try to help me snap out of it. I even use to walk around snapping a rubberband on my wrist to make sure I was able to feel. The thing that is so confusing to me is that I wasn't suffering from severe anxiety or depression. I have not been diagnosed with this until now that this happened. Now the phycologist says that I have generalize anxiety and of course I do now since this is so terrifying. Right now today I am having one of the crying spells. I'm telling you all... this is what Hell has to feel like!!! 4 months ago me wow how I miss her.. happy, loving cooking, shopping, always laughing, loving makeup, loving spending time outside with my husband and kids, going anywhere alone with no problem, the joking happy goofy me.... I'm sure everyone misses her.

  • HopingCat, it breaks my heart hearing this. Know that all the things you were are still a part of you. They will surface again one day. Keep strong for yourself, your husband and your children. May that day come sooner than you think. x

  • Thank you every much for this education and insight into depersonalization. I don't have this form of anxiety symptoms, and this helps me to better understand it.

  • PTSDforyears, I've probably gotten those feelings years ago but was too naïve to realize what it might be. Hearing HopingCat's struggle with these issues made me want to understand it as well. It's nice that we share so much on this forum and learn from each other. Hope you are doing okay. I always enjoy reading your responses, they always hit home :)

  • I couldn't have improved on this reply. Positive and simply explained also to the point. Thanks for that.

    John

  • Hello....frustrating as H***, for you when you think your psychologist is having a "problem to communicate" with you.

    Who first diagnosed you with the term "depersonalization"?

    If that was another psychologist or psychiatrist, would it help to tell that to your current psychologist?

    I guess, if you think your current psychologist is helping you,

    " a rose by any other name would smell as sweet." Who cares what he calls it, you're basically talking about the same thing....the terrible symptoms that anxiety that brings on these episodes.

    If he thinks he can help you when you are in that state of depersonalization, while it's not pretty and it's not comfortable, I wonder if he actually sees you like that if he actually can help you.

    Years ago, my anxiety attack was so bad, my husband took me to my neuropsychiatrist, who came to our car to see what was happening. I don't remember any of that. That's how bad it was.

    All I know is whatever he saw registered with him and was worth it....He decreased my pain medication significantly after checking with my pain management MD, adjusted my anxiety medication and told my husband to take care of me for a couple of days, and keep checking back with him every few hours.

    I had tried to explain to him previously what these debilitating extreme anxiety attacks were like. (Talk about a deer looking into the headlights! lol ) Until he actually saw me in that embarrassing horrible condition, I guess I just wasn't communicating with him properly in his terminology. I have not had that type of episode since.

    (Knock on wood. lol) I thank him to this day that he trusted me enough that he knew something must have been happening, and but I had never been in that condition at our appointments.

    I am not encouraging you nor discouraging you from allowing your psychologist to see you when you are experiencing an episode of depersonalization. Just wanted you to know what happened when my husband felt my doctor needed to actually see me go through what anxiety was doing to me. I am grateful he did.

    You are in my thought and hopes that you and your psychologist are able to work together to resolve the effects of your intense anxiety.

  • Have you ever been tested for food intolerances.... They can exacerbate mood disorders x

  • I am going to a holistic doctor this month and I'm hoping she runs all kinds of test

  • If you body/gut is affected by allergies/ intolerances or bacteria inbalance it really can play a part in making mood/emotional difficulties worse. Afterall we are neither just brain or just gut.,we are whole x

  • I was thinking about that the other day since I read an article about how someone had a yeast infection on the gut and after he got rid of that the depersonalization\derealization was gone

  • The psychiatrist told me. When I went to her office my first visit I explained what was happening and the dream feel and she was like " yep! That's depersonalization/ derealization and that's a phenomenal from anxiety and we have to treat the anxiety to get rid of it" and here I am... 4 months later still in this hell.

  • Oh, Magnolia...I know it is not much comfort to tell you the four months is not a long time to figure out what's behind the anxiety and how to treat it, but maybe it is.

    Not much comfort for me when I was told that, but I just hung on, with the adjustment in meds, the dream changing therapy, and sometimes just wearing a path in my rug from my pacing.

    It is going to get better, just can't tell you at what time or date. Wish I could.

  • this is a tricky one because dp/dr is its own disorder, but its a disorder CAUSED by anxiety or extreme stress. The only other possibility would be a thyroid problem, but the way you describe it sounds pretty much the same as mine which is anxiety, whereas I guess the thyroid problem gives you more of a general "foggy" feeling, without all the intense symptoms and existential thoughts. it still wouldn't hurt to just get it checked though if you haven't already.

    you could try to find a new psychiatrist but they'd probably change all of your meds /:

  • I really don't have any meds. Just a low dose of Amitrypiline (10mg) that's probably only helping to sleep. I think you told me you got better, right?

  • Do you ever feel like maybe we are to aware of sounds because we want to make sure that they are actual sounds and not sounds that our minds are making up? Or is it just me? Honestly that's what freaks me out the most. Because sometimes when I'm at work i have make sure that I'm actually hearing a person talk from far away and that my mind is not making it up.

  • Yep. I was just talking about this with someone in the messages.

  • I've been like that for over a month now. I still don't know if what I hear from far away is real or if my mind is making shit up. I still feel fake or not hear but tbh that doesn't bother me that much. And I still haven't seen any one to get diagnosed, which makes me really really desperate for help. I know that when they tell diagnose me I'm going to have a peace of mind because i will know that I'm not loosing my mind.

  • Who gave you the Zoloft?

  • No one, I dont take anything and I don't want to try anything

  • Oh sorry! I got you confused with someone else.

  • You are not hearing thing trust me. This hell just likes for you to freak and be aware of every little thing and sounds.

  • He is right dp/dr is part of anxiety it's a symptom and it does have a name. To be honest a lot of psychologists don't have a clue, it's hard to find good ones. But I really found the phychiatrist helpful as they are doctors so they can reassure you about all your physical symptoms and my phychiatrist really understood he said dp/dr is a symptoms of very severe anxiety. The only problem with phychiatrists is they really try to push medication on you mine said I wouldn't get better without it but I got terrible side effects and I'm too scared to be on them. Oh the cycle of anxiety 😩

  • I have both. A phycologist and a psychriatrist and yes the psychriatrist did shove medicine on me and then took me off Zoloft when that wasn't working. Now I am on amitriptyline 10mg that only helps to sleep. So I'm honestly dealing with this hell alone.

  • One thing I would like to suggest, it's not a solution but might give some relief. Anxiety can cause our eyes to become sensitive to light, there's something in particular about fluorescent light that gives me a slight hint or derealization, specially in overlit supermarkets. Have you tried sunglasses lightly tinted to take the harshness off the world as you view it through possibly light sensitive eyes.

  • I wear sun glasses out side everyday but would you believe me if I told you that since they have a yellow tint it freaks me out........

  • So true I wear sunglasses to help my sensitive eyes I wish I could wear them in the shopping centre but I'd look weird lol

  • Maybe brown tinted and wear them indoors to see if it helps, yellow tintedis maybe too unnatural for our eyes/brains to cope with. So maybe give brown tinted sunglasses a try.

  • I'll try my other ones that are darker. Thanks

  • Did you mean that he said you can call him when you are having an episode? That sounds really helpful, as I'm often desperate for someone to call when I'm having episodes. The worst ones come unfortunately in the middle of the night, and my only option at 4 a.m. is a crisis hotline which I've called many times. As for different symptoms of anxiety yes depersonalization is a symptom. For the symptom to be it's own diagnosis, it would be called "Disassociative disorder" which I know this because I saw this term in my own medical records as I was going thru them recently. It apparently is one of my many diagnoses.( I also have Borderline Personality disorder on top of General Anxiety disorder and major depression) It is good that we have this support forum but I wish there was a way that we could all call each other, but it seems that many are helped just by writing here. I'm at the point where I'm seeking assisted living already. There are times my panic and anxiety attacks are so bad, i break down doing dishes . Part of my terror comes from living alone, I'm tired of it, I just can't do it anymore . In my mid-40's so don't qualify for senior living yet, but am looking to move out of state (i'm now in TX) as other states have better mental health help. i get so weak and non-functional in my anxiety that i literally can't go on at times, in fact ended up hospitalized last year when i was in that state, and worry i'm approaching that bad point again. I'm rambling i guess i should make my own post on here which i haven't yet. it's just heartbreaking, a childhood with no sense of family (abandoned by parents, thrown around etc) then an adulthood praying for a husband/family but prayers always ignored. Please if anyone knows of assisted living facilities for the mentally ill and the best state to go to for that, let me know. i'm looking at Colorado right now. TX is one of the worst states for mental health care, this much i do know. Anyway i've offered this to someone here before but she didn't take me up on it, maybe some of you are not in the USA, it seems that way, but if you would like to call me when you are having episodes you are welcome to. private msg me if you want to talk .Blessings

  • No he actually meant for me to go into an attack while there "call the feeling" because I told him I can just be sitting down and I can literally call that weird fake detachment feeling by just thinking about it. I'm sorry you are going through all that. I will pray for us to all get better. We don't deserve this hell. Do you think your disassociate disorder might come from your anxiety? Have you tried some aroma therapy for when you go to bed? I turn mine on before bed with 10 drops of 100 percent Lavender oil and it makes me relax and sleep better. You can also rub it on the bottom of your feet. I'll check for any facilities here in Cali and let you know.

  • HopingCat, I just saw this post now from you. Is that what the psychologist wanted you to do today? Call the feeling out? Wow.

    Well, hope your night is uneventful and you get a good night's sleep. Talk tomorrow. Goodnight x

  • Yes... that's what he said and I told him no. I said I wasn't going to do that because I am terrified of that feeling. Thank You. Have a good night

  • Thank you that is sweet of you . well another crazy new development (i've been anxious my whole life, yet, as years go on, new symptoms can happen), is that i've become extremely intolerant of fragrances. Sometimes someone's perfume can put me in a panic state. So I'm wary of anything with aroma. I saw in one of the replies to your post, someone wrote about light- that's been another new thing for me also in the past couple years, where yes light, particularly fluorescent, can induce that unreal state. As far as my Disassociative disorder that's probably from childhood trauma which i had a lot of. It usually comes from trauma. I consider it one of my "unconfirmed" diagnoses" though, as thru my life, in different hospital stays /psych wards, or seeing diff. doctors, I see various additional diagnoses written in my chart/records- one of them was Obsessive Compulsive Disorder--but those are hospital psychiatrists i never see again. So i just focus on my main diagnoses , the ones I'm on Social Security Disability for- Depression , Anxiety and Borderline, and deal with those, with my main psychiatrist and counselor. thanks for prayers, I'm always praying for you all too. And don't forget my offer of someone to talk to if you ever need it. i don't think i've made a post here yet but i need to soon, and ask if anyone who lives in USA and is also lonely, would like to talk sometimes. I worry about the one lady i offered my phone # to, as she made a very suicidal sounding post here, months ago, and i never saw a post from her since then. She was also very overwhelmed with isolation and loneliness and on disability. Blessings to all

  • Hi reinagrace, you are not alone in being sensitive to smells, lighting and even sounds which can start anxiety to build.. It all goes back to our over sensitized nervous system as well as overstimulated brain.

    I'm in Chicago and yet I've not heard of an Assisted Living Facility for the Mentally Ill. I will look into that and let you know if I come up with something.

    I think I know the lady you are referring to who use to post very suicidal sounding posts. I've not heard from her either. I look forward to reading your posts updating us on any new symptoms or needing support. We are all here for each other.

    Wishing you a Goodnight! x

  • Thank you that is very kind. Yes I read about the overstimulation of senses being due to, "Fight or flight" and how an anxious person is constantly in this state, which is not normal as that state is only supposed to last for the few seconds or minutes of a crisis. it is very exhausting to have senses on alert constantly and probably a factor in the unreal feeling and other anxiety symptoms. and yes sounds bother me too, not to mention a constant sound inside my head now- tinnitus - another aggravating new anxiety symptom as of the past 2 years. auughh

    There is a place in MA but i never want to return to the Northeast. My mother lives in Massachusetts and i have a brother who is mentally ill also, with paranoid schizophrenia/violent tendencies. We are praying he will go into that home as i don't know what else there is for him at this point. He is in a very dire situation, long story. it's so sad. I assume that if MA has an assisted living home such as this for the mentally ill, surely another state somewhere will have one, and i appreciate both of you Agora1 and HopingCat for keeping an eye out. something is pulling me towards Colorado now, so when i have any energy i i will research it. currently getting 2 or 3 hours sleep a night worse insomnia than even usual.

    Blessings and prayers for all to heal .

  • Hi at one point my anxiety was soo bad I too experienced depersonisation and derealisation utterly terrifying everything thing felt fake my house didn't feel familiar or my kids I knew who they were put it was like I was seeing them after 10 years very very hard to explain thought I was losing plot too scared to tell anyone so I researched and it's true you have to lose your fear and to do this you have to realise it's your brains way of protecting you sounds dumb but it's true the only way you can make it go is to face it had on and not be scared and totally agree try to bring an episode on then you realise you are in control nothing bad will happen you've got to be like " come on let's see the best you can do!!" And it really does put things into perspective xx

  • Thanks... I'm really really trying

  • I am actually starting to come out of it. And I can tell you it has been hard but I am starting to figure it out. First you have to stop giving it power. Don't be afraid of it. If something serious was going to happen due to this it would of happened already because you have been like this for 4 months. So just keep going about your day as hard as it may be and don't fear the feeling because then you are giving it power. And another big thing that helped me was staying off of the internet and yes that means stay off of the healthunlocked site, becuase the more you are reading and typing about the feeling you are having is the more attention you are giving it and the more power and fear you are giving it. I had my first almost normal night last night and today is like a million times better. Yes he is right it is all part of anxiety, and when we give it a name we are fearing it and giving it power. We need to accept that we will never be in control, God is in control. the more we try to control the further we send ourselves into the anxiety fit. Just be as normal as you can be and things will begin to fall into place. Try not to give it any attention or at least fearful attention. Just keep pushing all the thoughts out of your mind and when they try to creep back in start doing something different to change your thought process. and I forced myself to do things I was afraid to do beacuse I thought it would make the feelings worse but the more I pushed myself the more I noticed how I could overcome this and be me again. Stop giving it so much attention. Don't read about it or get on any websites about anxiety or anything all day today and just be as normal as you can and just push through the feelings. even when you are feeling crazy just keep doing what you normally do. it will start to fade and you will start to see the light. I really thought i was doomed and stuck like that for life. But when I started doing the above i started seeing the light. And be as postive as you can and try to laugh. as stupid as it sounds laughter is the best medicine. watch comedies. I like to watch family fued with steve harvery. DO all this stuff today and then tomorrow morning tell me how it went. Good luck. seriouslly be as positive as possible.

  • Thank you

    How long did you have it for? I been like this for 4 months and when it started I spent 2 weeks in bed because I couldn't function. After those 2 weeks I got up and forced myself to do everything I use to do like normal. And I been doing that for all these months and I'm still stuck. It is frustrating and terrifying. I am hardly ever home. Always in and out my house with my kids and running errands so I really don't know why I haven't snapped out of it or why that stupid feeling doesn't go away. I am tired of going everywhere in fear or looking around because I have this intense 3D vision that makes everything look like I'm in a dream and it freaks me out. I'm tired of going to the stores and the market and wanting to run out so bad because of the lights. I'm just really really mentally exhausted. Maybe if I didn't have this 3D vision and this veil doom feeling following me around maybe I would deal with the feeling better. I am also hyper aware of my existence and surrounding and that freaks me out. And let's not even talk about the existence thoughts or the brain that just won't shut up. It's going on it's own.... so yeah I don't know what else to do. I feel like I have tried it all. I don't even know what normal is anymore or how I'm suppose to feel. It sucks

  • I had it for about a week. the first 2 days I was terrified and didn't want to open my eyes because the detattched feeling was unbareable at first, but my family really helped pull me through. they were really positive and just kept me going and helped me to push through. but i think that since you are aware of whats going on you are constantly thinking about it and you are fearing the feelings instead of just letting them roll and pushing through it. stop trying to fix yourself and just go about your business and stop thinking about what is wrong with you. You will pull through and things will start to fall into place.

  • I hope so because I am so tired of feeling like this for 4 months. I can't stop thinking about it because I am not in control of my thought. My brain is just going. It really sucks

  • Hi sorry to hear you are going through such a bad time.I bought the Alpha Stim Aid I got it from the USA and I live in the U.K. I have been using it for a few weeks now and you feel relaxed when using it I know there is clinics

    use it it might work it is for anxiety insomnia and depression i would look into it as anything is worth a try to be rid of these horrible feeling that you are exsperinces All My Love Janebee

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