Had enough

[janey61]

Hi , this is my situation , I have two boys one is autistic and brain injured , he lives alone without carers as he is abusive and extremely demanding I am exhausted with him it feels so selfish but he's rings all the time , talks about death and funerals a lot , is very egotistical ..my patience is at an all time low ..his carers are thin on the ground and he can't cope with the changes and moans at me all the time ...social services cut his hours don't want to know ..my eldest lives at home and doesn't work he is depressed and I try and get him to heels me round the house he won't , he is on ESA and pays no bills ..my mother is getting dementia and can't remember anything she won't get help I've tried family and putting my foot down but they all bully me . I have a wonderful partner , and want to get married mbut he lives out of county I live with him a lot of the time butt come home to do caring roles . I have m.e and anxiety and depression and my family just don't consider this , my gut instinct is to sell up and move away but it also feels so wrong ...I am home this weekend as my partner works in London it's all so complicated and I feel desperate and exasperated by it all , sorry this is so long any support or suggestions would be grateful , no one of them want to seek help just rely on me and use me ...I've really had enough to be honest I need to take control before I lose it completely

Top

[Nicki1984]

Hi there sorry to hear of all the stress you are under. I would suggest visiting your GP and explaining all of the above - they will be able to help you, your sons and your mum. Are you able to access any counselling to help you work through everything? Your GP may be able to push for your autistic son to be reassessed and his care needs changed - it sounds like his living arrangements need to change - would he be more suited to a supported living environment? Has your mum been tested for dementia? Again GP should be able to advise. You could also go to Citizens Advice for support? I don't blame you for wanting to get away you need to start putting yourself first. X

[janey61 in reply to Nicki1984]

Hi thanks for the advise , I have had counselling , they won't reassess son as just done it and cut his hours also social services ignore my calls ..re ally bad day today ...tried to talk to them all ...

Been under GP for years .ll.its hard to explain in a nutshell a lifetime of stuff

[Nicki1984 in reply to janey61]

It's really awful and frustrating I really hope things improve for you. I work with adults with learning disabilities and it angers me that the people that should be supporting them and their families are doing a poor job i.e. Social services. Best wishes x