Here I go crying again

I can't stop crying because I keep thinking about how awful I feel mentally. I'm not crawled up in a ball doing nothing. I function well but this horrible feeling and brain that won't shut up. I cleaned, cooked, did laundry, and all that but always thinking about this depersonalization/derealization and terrified of staying stuck like this forever. And honestly I know people say the key is to ignore but you can't ignore because you aren't in control! Your brain is just going. No one understand unless you experienced this. There's no magic pill for depersonalization/derealization for anyone that's going to suggest that. I am on medication for anxiety and if this is because of anxiety than if should go away but half of the time I'm not anxious or I'm anxious because of it. Im exhasted. Over 3 months of this. I am in a nightmare. Waking up every morning for over 3 months wondering if I'm finally out this dream land, feeling like I am not real or anything around me is real when I know better than this. Having weird thoughts about life and existence.... The brain is just trying to trick me. It's so disturbing. I'll take some reassurance right now if someone has any... for the a millionth time!

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13 Replies

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  • We on the same page dont worry your not alone another thing is that this doesnt stop me i still go out do what i have to do because its just our brain look lets put it like this i feel my vision daily unreal or dream like mostly everyday daily but i dont react to it because i know what it is so i still doing thing plus i get these wierd head sensation that i really dont understand ehat the hell is wrong with me and it all started with a massive panick attack of smoking weed and i been stuck this way for 5 months

  • That's how I'm feeling it feel like is my body going to shut down or will I lose my mind... I'm scared I don't know what to do. I try not think about it but soon as I think every thing is normal it happens all over again but harder

  • For how long now? And are you taking medication? Also seeing a phycologist or psychriatrist? I don't wish this upon anyone. This is the hardest thing I had to deal with and it's terrifying.

  • I been feeling like this since January of this year...n yes I'm on meds as needed n no I'm not seeing no one on this because I feel like they will treat me like I'm going crazy... But after all I'm came along way because I was worser then I'm am now I'm just having trouble breathing...but the negative thoughts I use to have are gone...

  • I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling..! I know how hard it is! I've been dealing with anxiety and dp/dr for about 11 months now, but it has gotten a lot better. It fades away with time and with doing things that help it go away! I understand how hard it is to ignore one of the scariest things you've felt. I just wanted to give you some hope! I felt it pretty severely/strongly and I had the same thoughts of you, like "will I be stuck here forever" and "I'm feeling this even tho I'm not anxious.. what's wrong with me?" and I still got better! Today I don't feel it as much and it's a lot easier to live in the here and now and not get anxious about slight dp/dr feelings! If I can do it, you can do it! What helped me was realizing that dp/dr can truly never harm you, it's not dangerous, it's not a sign of going crazy, and it can't cause crazy things to happen to you that you didn't think of before this hardship (like it can't cause you to be stuck in an actual dream, it can't cause your "soul" to leave your body, etc). It's only your body's way of coping with anxiety! Best of wishes! Feel free to message me if you need any more tips or advice :)

  • Thank You. I need all the reassurance I can get. It's terrible

  • Do you check yourself everyday on waking to see if you are still affected ?.

  • Yes I do. It's hard to ignore

  • You're getting yourself into a bloody terrible state with this woman !!

  • I know. I'm so tired of it. Over 3 months is way too long

  • You need to accept you have it and that it's going to take time to recover. Once you do that and relax about it you'll recover. Stop checking yourself too. It will be gone when you stop looking for it.

  • These damn thoughts freak me out too. Life thoughts and stuff. Weirdness that will normally not even freak me out.

  • You are best just trying to learn to live with it, it's hard I know.

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