I'm wondering what I'm doing wrong because I'm still stuck in Dp/dr

I'm wondering what I'm doing wrong. I have read so many recovery stories and I have tried everything they did and I'm still stuck. I have been in and out my house doing exactly what I use to do before and nothing. When this first started I spend 2 weeks in bed without leaving my house. After that I forced myself to do everything like normal. Over 3 months later and I'm still stuck in dream land. This really sucks. I'm tired. I'm so damn mentally exhasted. I have no physical symptoms. It's all mental. I swear I perfer to have physical symptoms than this nightmare. I feel like I am stuck on fight or flight mode. Scared and on edge 24/7. The only thing that I can think that I'm not doing like they did is socializing. I don't have many friends around and my family lives far away. I'm only around my kids and husband. Maybe I need to go meet new people or something. I don't know what else to do. I'm tired of having anxiety attacks and panic over feeling like I'm in a dream or my brain obsessing over existence. God it's exhausting!


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19 Replies

  • Hello my friend.

    The socialization issue is right on point. Been there and still doing that. It is not as hard as it was, but I really don't know any people in the new neighborhood, but I make myself walk to a nearby store with my dog every morning for exercise and just to see other people. My extended family is 900miles away, and although I don't like much about facebook, I do have some of my relatives post periodically on it just so I know a little about what's going on with them.

    I always wish you well and understand how difficult the isolation can be. Was thinking, as you have children, including your 5-year-old singer, is there a PTA or volunteer program with the schools where you live? That might provide you consistent interaction with adults.

  • That's a good idea. Is either that or take a college course. But I need to find something. I'm glad you are back. How have you been?

  • I am doing rather well, one day at a time. Was out of the country for a few days, and the local wifi wasn't very reliable, so I did a great deal more reading actual paper books than being on the internet.

    Other than the lonely feeling we get from the isolation, how are you doing?

  • I am hanging in there. Trying to do everything in my power to feel like I did 3 months ago. Keeping busy too. But this anxiety is hell. I need to smile more too. I noticed I hardly do any of that since this started. I'm like a zombie

  • I know...like the perpetual anxiety just wears us out, doesn't it? Am glad you're hanging in there...You actually sound much better than a few days ago, and much more in touch and in control about problem solving with your life than during those few "super good almost over the top", "too good to be true" days a week or so ago.

    I think you understand what I'm trying to say,even though I didn't write it very well. lol

    I'm going through an emotional hard time at the moment, so am keeping close check on keeping my schedule as best I can to prevent anxiety from sneeking back in, while I face and see this situation through.

  • It's weird because I don't feel the DP really anymore but I'm scared of my own shadow and to get out and go, and you're the opposite. I wish we can both get out and go, and also not have the DP anymore.

  • It sure is weird. I can actually go anywhere now. Drive anywhere too. But always on edge since I am always thinking how horrible I feel with these thoughts and fake feelings

  • I think it only goes away once we stop caring whether it's there or not. Living normal life is part of it but if we still keep constantly checking how we feel and whether it's still there desperately wanting it to go away then it doesn't. We don't suddenly wake up one day and it's gone either. It gradually fades into the background when our mind becomes focused on life and normal things again instead of going though the motions whilst still thinking of how we feel all the time. You have to try and not care whether it's there or not which is really difficult I know. Finding something new that you feel a sense of passion or excitement about can help too but not always easy. I really wish you luck. I'm as stuck as you at the moment but I had this before a long time ago and although it lasted for years I did eventually get better for quite a few years before it reared its ugly head again.

  • I also had it years ago. When I was a teenager and lasted years. I suffered alone with no help, no medication. I remember it going away but I don't remember how I did it or anything. This really sucks. I hope we get better soon. And you are right, I'm always checking if is still there. 24/7 for over 3 months. It's so terrifying I want it to be gone asap

  • I feel as you do at the moment. Stuck with anxiety. Breaking down in tears in the shop where l work, which is really embarrassing. Im on Sertraline, which isnt stopping it. Im doing meditation, deep breathing, but l cant stop breaking out in tears. Pressure at work has built up and lm sinking yet again.

  • HopingCat you have to socialize...I was at my worst when i decided to be out of work becuz of this...I would be at home all day and and just dwell on my thoughts and how I felt I did that from the time I woke up until the time I went to bed..but now that I have start back working I socialize more and i work...that keeps my mind off of dp/dr.. and also I stop the researching and i accepted that this was just temporarily and it will go away...stop seaching for answers..

  • I feel like I'm 80% better...

  • That's awesome! I'm glad you are feeling better. At this point I am glad I can function and take care of my family but crumbling in the inside. I have an obsessive personality. Even before this hell started I always obsessed about things so now that I have this that obsessive personality is making things worse. I don't know what else to do. I might try taking a college class to keep me busy. It sucks because I know I'm going to be staring at people like they're aliens. I think what I did wrong this time is actually knowing what it is. When I was a teen I knew things felt weird and I kept having attacks but I use to call it panic and still went out and worked. Now knowing is actually traumatizing.

  • Yeah I understand what u saying you just got to find something else to obesse over...it will fade away...for me it's gradually fading away..even tho I have crazy thoughts I ignore it and then it pass...I have to keep myself busy

  • Something I found hope it give some or you hope....

    I am new here because I feel the obligation to help. i have suffered DP/DR 3 times in my life and each time is was less severe. 6 Months the first time because I had no Idea what it was, 2 months the second time because I lost someone close to me and I was smoking, and this most recent time was only about a month. It was because I am a commitement phobe and I started getting into a serious relationship. All three are directly linked to anxiety about a situation or smoking the reefer. I am convinced I will never get this again because it is much more understood now than it was even 3 years ago.

    It ALWAYS goes away. Not sometimes. ALWAYS. Noone suffers from DP/DR forever. With these tools you'll be exponentially happier in 1 week and forget what DP/DR even feels like in 3 to 6 months (Yes that feels like a long time right now, but it's not because when you are coping with the symptoms correctly it's really not a bid deal at all)

    How to cure DP:

    1. Understand it. It's anxiety and obsessive thinking which causes real physical symptoms.

    2. Accept it. You have it, it goes away, but it takes time. Months NOT years. People who have had it for years haven't accepted it.

    3. Don't be depressed about it. You have this condition, you can wake up in the morning and cry about it or you can live your life, get in better shape, learn a new instrument, ect.

    4. Drink if you are a drinker. In moderation of course but if you are young and a partier, keep partying. You will notice when you are partying it's not there. That is because it is simply a circle of thought and when you are drinking, well you don't tend to overthink things. (Just put your phone away so you don't send late drunk texts confessing your love or trying to get laid).

    5. Find someone you really trust and love and explain it to them. When you are feeling like shit bitch to them. Tell them ahead of time that you are going to vent to them and that they need to tell you to quit being a self-loathing cry baby and live your life. If you ever want this to end, you need to move on from caring. If you've ever broken up with someone or been dumped you know the gradual decrease in intensity of the sad feelings. This is the same way.

    6. Know you're not alone. A lot of people go through this they just aren't as OCD as us and don't research it to figure out it is called something.

    7. Redefine the symptoms. Call it dizziness, a hangover, brain fog, or whatever floats your boat. If you tell yourself you are just dizzy enough and not depersonalized the symptoms will turn into dizziness which will get rid of the fear which will get rid of the anxiety which will get you back to normal.

    8. Speaking of back to normal. Don't try to get there. Just live and let yourself get there. You'll know when you are, if you are questioning whether or not you are back to normal, you are not normal because you are questioning normalcy. Normal people don't do that. Stop questioning normal.

    9. B-12 and Omega 3's. They aren't Placebo, they really work. Give them 2-3 weeks to kick in.

    10. GIVE IT TIME! I can't stress this enough. Don't get frusterated because it will give it power. It really does take time. People say it is different for everyone but there is no reason this should be more than 3 to 6 months if you stick to the plan. It won't be less than that either. Your brain literally needs time to heal. The chemicals are out of wack and let them go back to their homes. Just like an anti-depressent takes several weeks or even months to take effect, DP/DR will take you a few months of dicipline.

    11. Do it without medication. It's empowering.

    12. Talk about it when the symptoms are bad. Don't say, "I have DP/DR". Say "Man, i'm super spacey right now" or "i'm so out of it" and then laugh. Often times the people you are with will say, "ya I am too". Then it's out there and you don't feel like weirdo.

    13. Know you will come out of this a much better person. You really will. You will love life, appreciate the little things, most likely be a master of the mind and psychology due to your obsessive hours of research, and probably have a sweet bod because working out is a huge part of recovery.

    Don't do drugs. Your mind isn't wired for drug usage.

    14. Exercise. If you are exercising hard you're symptoms are gone which is more proof that it doesn't exist in the complete absence of anxiety. (Sometimes the symptoms linger but just ride the wave)

    Oh yeah, Just ride the wave. If you are feeling DP/DR just float on. Visualize the feelings as a train (of thought) flowing through your brain. A fast train, maybe the polar express if you like Santa, once the train is gone so are the feelings.

    15. Intensify the symptoms. When you are starting to recover and you get it on and off and start feeling it coming on try to feel the dp/dr as intensly as possible. Literally try to entice the symptoms. Feel the symptoms and get the visual symptoms and don't let yourself be afraid of them. Laugh at them.

    16. Don't oversleep. If anything undersleep by an hour or two. It's a natural anti-depressant.

    17. Lastly, KEEP A GOOD ADDITUDE. You have two options in the morning when you have DP/DR. You can stress about the symptoms like a DP/DR newbie or you can feel them, accept them, and be happy. You won't wake up one day and the DP/DR is gone. You will stop caring about the symptoms, they will get less severe, you will forget about them for extended periods of time, when they come back you will be able to let them be and not worry (hardest part because a taste of recovery is oh so sweet), you will forget them for an even longer time, they will come back, then you'll forget them even longer, and the cycle will repeat until you forgot what the hell DP feels like. I have had days where I literally want to get the feelings again so I can just remember what I was so worried about and I can't. There is some phsychological term for this but I can't remember what it is. Oh and stop reading this blog(Sorry DPselfhelp.com.) Once you are recovered come back and read it if you want but you need to stop thinking about it until it's gone.

    Disclaimer: This is all from experience. I'm not a doctor of any sort but I do know and understand this condition. I am a cured struggler. Take my advice because it will help but everyone is different. Talk to a doctor and phsychologist to find out if you have more going on.

  • Excellent post

  • Jq0323, how did you become so wise at such a young age? I guess first hand experience will do that. Knowing about a condition is understanding the condition is accepting what we have. You did it all. My best to you, Continued success .

  • I read this before and always go

    Back to that site when I need some hope.

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