I've been reading a lot of posts on here and just knowing that some of you are feeling exactly the way I feel makes me feel more confident that I can overcome this.
It's so hard waking up everyday hoping that maybe I'll be fine. And even going to bed is hard, I used to use sleep as a way to ignore my problems, but with this I feel like sleeping doesn't even help. The last week I've even woken up during the night and felt that rush through me, thankfully I'm so tired I end up falling back asleep, but it does still scare me for that second I realize it's happening.
It's getting to the point where I feel like it's never going to stop. I haven't been bad for the past 2 weeks and then today was really hard. And this is so frustrating. It feels like nothing is even real anymore I can't even imagine feeling like this the rest of my life. And then the other part of me doesn't even think I'm going to live, which scares the hell out of me and I feel like i can't control my thoughts.
I don't know what to do anymore I feel like I'm crazy, I don't like telling anyone because I know they don't understand. This website has helped me so much. If anyone feels the same or has anything to say please reply.