It's been getting increasingly worse over the past two years coming from a veriety of angles such as guilt, worry, and worthlessness . I constantly worry about situations that may have happened in the past that I may have been embarrassed about or could have seems like I had taken the wrong action in that particular time. This will grind me down for days. I went through a stage (and this still happens occasionally) that I have to tell my girlfriend every situation I have been in the past with previous relationships. I've even felt the need to tell her if I find someone else attractive otherwise the guilt will build up and I feel as though I am unfaithful. She fully understands and she is very supporting but I'm sure it's not always nice to hear from her point of view.
We now have a flat together and it seems like a vicious cycle over that month that I will worry about money, until all our direct debits are paid off then I'm not happy and will have this feeling until then. It's not fair on her because she works really hard and deserves to treat herself but I just get so worked up thinking we can't pay the bills that I think of the worst scenario possible and will lose out flat. I tend to do this a lot and think of the worst possible outcome.... it eventually leads my to thinking that'all I'll lose everything I have and that makes me considering ending my life.
I have gone to a service recently about this and thy have said that is seems to be GAD and I show a high score of that, and that my depression level is moderate. I've been waiting for a response from them but I'm on a long waiting list because they dont see me as an urgent matter.
I've looked online to see how I can cope and there are ways. I play football a lot and try to keep myself busy but it's just when I'm sat alone or am trying to sleep that it really daunts on me, i feel so hot and sweaty and my heart beats to fast, I get this feeling constantly and I feel like I'm struggling to cope.
I just want to know if anyone else experiences this and can help me cope better?