Hello

I was taken out of school over a year ago because of my anxiety and because I was bullied. I have selective mutism and depression and got bullied because of not talking, I felt sick all the time and did not sleep. Every time I went into the classroom some one would say 'oh look that weird girls here, the one that doesn't speak ' And then they would all laugh. I would get blamed all the time in lessons for ruining the games that we played at the end because the teacher said if EVERYONE did not take part in the game we couldn't play it. And then they all hated me because they couldn't do the games. (Because I couldn't talk)

People used to stab we with pencils and pens and wouldn't stop until I spoke to them and I came home most days with bruises on my arms because they stabbed me so hard. I can't talk to anyone apart from my parents and a friend from my old primary school who last week was doing a livestream on Instagram and was saying some really nasty things about me and I have never been mean to her. And now I have no one.

I feel so lonely and fed up all the time and there is nothing I can do about it, I have tried counselling but she said I shouldn't come anymore because she couldn't help me.

I don't know what to do anymore, so what's the point.

My hamster past away on Wednesday and I know it sounds strange but I loved her so much and she was the only thing in the world that really loved me. My family couldn't care less about my selective mutism and they see it as a contest as to who can be the first to get me to talk to them. Some of them say I just 'suck the life out of them'

Any advice on dealing with..... well..... life I would REALLY appreciate. Sorry this is such a long post. But If you have read this far thank you so much it means a lot :)

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12 Replies

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  • Can the headmaster not do something about what is going on in the school?

    Can a doctor explain to your family what you are going through and tell them to help you.

    I don't really know is what else to say but don't ever give up, get yourself some things to focus on and do or learn new things that will give you something to keep yourself occupied.

    It's awful about your hamster, our pets are part of the family and it is always hard when we lose one, I have lost dogs and cats in my lifetime and it wasn't nice at all, but you won't always feel sad about it, you will feel better after a bit of time has passed.

    I hope things get better for you real soon.

  • Thank you so much :) my parents have emailed the headmaster loads of times but he hasn't replied to one email :/

  • Then get your parents to contact the headmasters boss, you know the people in the education board or your local council.

  • That's a tough one. Maybe you could email your local community services board or reach out to someone that way. Find someone who specializes in that specific area. See if they will start with you through email or chat client until you are comfortable meeting with them. The thing is you have to be willing to try and communicate at some point. If it becomes a hard line for you it would be difficult to offer you treatment.

  • Thank you so much :)

  • Hi there. Sorry to hear your having such a tough time at the moment. That sounds really bad. Sorry your hamster died too on of all that. You do sound depressed & cant blame you. Do you have any things your good at or like to do? I sing, write & design. If you have anything like that I think try to do more of that. Cos it will help you to feel better. Or you may like doing different things. But the important thing is it won't always be like that. Just an idea to distract you. Don't know if it helps. I was alone quite a bit as a young teenager as I lived in the country miles from my friends. & I found that my interests helped me meet people and still do. They help make you not feel so lonely too I think.

  • I am interested in photography and I have recently started a course on it and I am really enjoying it, I also love animals. Thank you so much for your reply :)

  • They are really good interests to have & it's great you are enjoying your course. 😊

  • Hello

    I really felt for you reading your post there are some really cruel sick people in this world but that is what "All " these bullies are and even though they don't know it behaving towards you in the way you have described they have bigger problems than you will ever have for a start they have no heart that feels and has compassion but people with anxiety we do so you are so much better than they are !

    Maturity they seem to lack any at all but hopefully as people in your age group do mature you will find more meaningful relationships with people

    Are there any local confidence kind of groups in your area or even though you don't have to be religious church organisations like youth club kind of things you could join where there would be more understanding ?

    You seem to have been very let down and by your therapist , I mean what a thing to say I can't help you anymore , talk about make someone feel there is no hope when they already are feeling this way , all I can say she is not very good at her job and even if she could not help you she should have written to your Doctor and between them decided what would !

    It leaves you feeling like you don't matter but believe me you do matter :-)

    Your family behaving like it is a competition who gets you to talk sounds very hurtful , have you thought or could you write down how this makes you feel and let them read it maybe ?

    I totally get how your pet was your best friend and having a pet you can feel this way with is a good thing , I really hope that when the time is right even though you cannot replace the one you have lost but you will be able to get another one :-)

    I would write down everything I feel and make a Doctors appointment , pass them the notes you have written down and on the end say you need help and support and see what they can do for you :-)

    Never stop asking for help it is out there it can just take a while sometimes to find the right support for you

    You will always have friends and someone to talk to in this Community , I hope that helps even if in a small way :-)

    Take Care x

  • Thank you so much for your reply, I recently looked into groups for confidence and stuff but there aren't any near me 😣. I've bought lots of books about dealing with anxiety and building confidence and I feel like some of the things in them are helping me. This group has helped me a lot and it made me really happy to find people like me 😊

  • You sound so sensible and seem to be doing everything at the moment that you can :-)

    Keep taking just little steps and things will get better , slowly maybe but they will :-)

    Always someone around to chat with so hopefully you will not feel quite so alone with how you feel knowing others do understand :-) x

  • Thank you 😊❤️

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