This anxiety is the devil

I skipped my walk today because I wanted to come home and do deep cleaning. Which I was able to do. My morning was good and by good I mean I been able to ignore the feelings of unreality or shutting down any weird thoughts about reality that my brain wants to obsess over. Now it's noon and I'm trying to relax but my body is just pumping with adreleline fear/panic/anxiety which make my depersonalization/ derealization symptoms REALLY BAD. I know people say to ignore but it's so flipping hard. I just want to run. Like literally. It makes me want to run and scream. I am praying for better days. I just made an appointment with a holistic doctor but she can't see me until June. I figure let me go a more natural route since these heavy duty medications I keep trying aren't working. I'm willing to try anything to get my life back.

I hope everyone is having a wayyy better day than me.


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  • Go walk and use the adrenaline up.

  • I can't do that because I'll freak out since everything outside looks intense.

  • Can you do something in the house that would burn it up?

  • I ran up and down the stairs right now. I'm a mess

  • I was going to mention the stairs but you beat me to it πŸ˜‚

    Keep doing it and you won't be a mess! ☺

  • Lol... after the stairs and went for the trampoline πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ

  • Really!! Lol you are nuts!

  • Just remember you haven't been on the medication very long. Please call your doctor when you can, when you feel able. He needs to know about what is happening to you.

  • I will call her tomorrow. Right now I just can't stop crying. I think I'm mentally drained. I really don't think this low dose is doing anything but helping me sleep. Because it's finally doing that.

  • OK. At least you will be able to sleep. As Scarlet O'Hara said, "Tomorrow is another day" :) (I was raised in Kentucky and live n Florida, so you're going to get "tongue-in-cheek references to Southern literature and culture that we even laugh about to ourselves.)

    Just get through the night. Then make the phone call and call again and again if you have in order to reach her.

    You need and can be what we Southerns call a "Steel Magnolia" until you reach that doctor and something is done to help. "Steel Magnolia" is a beautiful magnolia flower that can be bruised by just touching it and then fall apart, unless there is some unseen "steel" to hold it together. You have that steel, that strength.

    Ok, my Steel Magnolia, just make it through the night. You're bruised, but you are not going to fall apart. You're going to make it through this evening with your family, and sleep. And tomorrow is going to be another day for you.

    Ok, do you understand what I'm trying to say?

  • Yes I understand. Thank You.

  • Ok, Magnolia, ok. There is always someone on line for help. I need to feed my family now, food is on the stove....but keep in touch with others on line. OK?????

  • I'm sorry you are not doing well today CatP. I wish I could say/do more.... we all have times like this. Please do talk to your doctor &/or psy. they might have some tips or something to help you. June is a long time to wait when we feel the way you do now. We're here for you. πŸ’›πŸ™

  • Thank You. It's just hard when you been dealing with something for almost 3 months that came out of nowhere. I was happy and no anxiety. I don't know why my brain is doing this to me. I seriously don't wish this upon anyone.

  • I know.... it's not fun.... it doesn't always have a logical reason.... sometimes we repress stuff for so long that our mind just can't do it anymore. Mine got real bad just over 9 years ago.... had my sister & a friend in very bad marriages (both in better relationships now), I got GERD & my anxiety went to heck. It was hard for a long time, but it got better. About 2-3 months it came back.... I don't know why this time. I hate it too. Life should be good. I'll get back to normal one day & you will too, we all will. I hope you get a peaceful night sleep. We're here & care about you. πŸ’›

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