I just want to be happy again

I just want to be happy again. And enjoy my kids. I don't know what else to do or how I'm going to get better. Today I took 50mg of Zoloft and I haven't beeen able to get out of bed. I'm so tired but can't fall sleep. It's so weird that I'm lowering the dosage to get it switched and it's causing me to be so tired. This depersonalization/derealization is like a terror horrific nightmare. I'm so drained. I just want my life back.


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16 Replies

  • Hello

    I am sorry you are not feeling great at the moment but please believe me it will get better but it does take time

    Even though you are lowering the dose of your meds it does take a while for your body to adjust and the reason you will maybe feeling so tired as well as anxiety draining us but just like if you were recovering from any other illness be kind to yourself and give yourself time , as the mind has to heal just like the body :-)

    You will eventually , taking small steps build your life back up and you will enjoy your kids again to and for now any small moments where you feel ok , take those and read a story to them or whatever it is they like you to do and then treasure those small things for when you are feeling run down knowing that there are glimmers of enjoyment still there waiting for you :-)

    Take Care x

  • Thank You

  • Just remind yourself that you took your kids to the park yesterday and you enjoyed cake. I wish I could say that about myself. My accomplishments today was to take the dog on a 10 minute walk and go out in the yard with the kids. I am trying to force myself to do standing activities but it is so hard when I just feel so bad doing it. Your recent posts seemed more positive so maybe you are feeling a tiny bit better without knowing it? I am trying to taper off Busphar and just stopped celexa and started Prozac so I am now getting horrible daily headaches every pm. I might go see my parents PCP because she treated my mom for severe anxiety and now she is doing awesome. I do feel that one good doctor ( instead of five million) makes a huge difference! Keep trying to enjoy sweets and your kids, we will both get there, I know it! BTW, my butt is now superglued to the couch and I don't think I am moving the rest of the day.

  • I know I should be happy about what I did yesterday but it is so hard when I am batteling my brain and looking around paranoid questioning reality and fighting back an attack. It's really hell. I hope we both feel better soon. I will be praying for us. I am getting my medication switched this week and I'm scared. My biggest problem is this depersonalization. If it wasn't because of this I would pretty much be back to normal. It's hard. I got up and cleaned my kitchen and I'm going to go right back to my room. My kids are on spring break so I don't have to forced myself to go outside. I do feel bad for them because 9 weeks old me would have been all over the place with them. It's just a nightmare

  • I know. If I didn't feel dizzy and shaky I could manage as well. My head also feels 100 pounds, I hate it. The dizziness makes me feel out of it as well ( foggy vision). Now I am wondering if it's my neck making me feel like this but I am so tired of going to doctors. I have a colonoscopy and endoscopy next week due to no appetite and GI symptoms. I could totally manage panic attacks but not this. I also would have been out there with my kids, my husband has never been too active so I know my kids are missing out. I want to fast forward the time for all of us on this site to what we feel better.

  • How is your iron? I know that when my iron was horrible I would get dizzy and stuff. Now I take iron pills.

  • They told me it was fine. Everything is good I just feel so bad!

  • I don't have foggy vision but I have intense fake looking dream like vision and it's so damn disturbing. I can't believe the brain does this to use. I feel like I'm stuck on the fight or flight mode.

  • Yes I distinctly remember that feeling after I had my son. I remember saying in my head " I feel like this is a movie and it's playing out in front of me" and I remember how damn tired it made me. But it resolved for 8 years. I feel like anxiety spins new symptoms on us like you already had this so have some of this now. It sucks but it won't last forever but it is something we will have to live with forever hopefully at a well controlled state Have you ever thought it is your hormones? I think my anxiety has something to do with it but I don't think I can do anything about it sincere I have high blood pressure

  • Ugh.... it's so hard!!!! I just want to cry!!!

  • Me too! It helps! I cried today DrivingBack from dr appointment and felt a little better

  • Is everything ok? I hope you feel better soon

  • They told me I have stage one kidney disease but has nothing to do with symptoms. Just one more thing to worry about right? I just want them to tell me what is causing my stupid symptoms not random other stuff I have to worry about

  • With your eyes open, look down at your mouth. Keeping your eyes there slowly lower your eye lids and close your eyes. Remember to keep looking down.

  • Do it for as long as you like it seriously rests the eyes, it may help with your derealization.

  • Thank You. I'm going to try it

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