My story

I don't know if I ever posted my full story so here it goes. When I was a teen I smoked weed for the first time and I got a huge panic attack. I dozed off while I was high and when I opened my eyes I started screaming and saying I felt like my soul was leaving my body. I was on full tunnel vision and couldn't feel my body. Just eyes and warm fake vibration feeling. I Kept saying I couldn't breath, I was screaming and said that it felt like I was watching myself. My heart was racing and I was shaking. Felt like an Out of body experience. I kept saying to call 911. Long story short, I was rushed home and went to sleep. The next day I was still feeling the same way so I went to the Er and they did blood work to find out if the weed was laced but it wasn't. I continued to feel the same with multi trips to the Er and no help. Finally I went into a mental clinic and the doctor told me I had a panic attack and gave me Paxil which I never took. Instead i stay like that with no help and dealing with it alone. I think it took me more than a year for the derealization to me gone. Now as an adult, I was in my bathroom 7 weeks ago thinking about that day and all of a sudden I started feeling the same symptoms. Now I am stuck with this derealization. I just wish someone would have explained to me all the details about panic and derealization back then because it almost seems like I developed some type of Ptsd from that awful night. Now here I am. Stuck suffering with this horrific feeling. I'm telling you guys. The worse feeling in the world is the unreal dream like feeling. It's so disturbing. You pretty much don't know who you are any more. Everything is shut down. Emotions and all. I'm a zombie. I don't even know how I'm going to act normal after this. If anyone can relate or knows anything that might help please share.

Thank you


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28 Replies

  • Hi girl friend,

    You had a bad experience with weed and you probably never had it since. In some ways not having a good experience was a never got hooked on it.

    Unfortunately you also discovered you appear prone to anxiety and panic attacks when you experience something new and unusual. AND you CHOSE not to take the rx given to you to help end the anxiety and panic attacks. Instead you CHOSE to stay miserable.

    Now you are questioning the rx given to you now for help climb out of the same type of miserable state.

    There is no guarantee the meds will help and may need to be adjusted. The only guarantee that seems likely from all that you've written is....nothing seems to be changing if you choose not to take the Rxs.

    You are an intelligent woman who can make the decision.

    And as always we're here to support you, but we can't make the decision for you. :)

  • I am taking Zoloft but is not working so I am going to switch next week.

  • Sorry, but I'm confused. I thought the doctors told you ok to take both meds, not just substitute one for the other. I really like you, but why are you keep deciding to do something else WITHOUT talking to your doctors. :)

  • Zoloft I have been taking for 6 weeks. The Elival was giving to me so I could sleep. I could take it if I want too but I'm scared so I don't. But I haven't stopped the Zoloft.

  • Oh, my goodness. So what is your decision about taking both meds since doctors say ok and may help you? Two life jackets together may or may not better than one.

    Ok, you say you're scared. I know that. (so was I on Friday when I was told to start my self injections daily with Forteo to see if it stops my bone density loss)

    But the odds, at worst, is 50/50 that both your meds together will improve things for you.

    If you decide to just take one med, that's ok. But don't make your decision based on fear.......but if nothing improves....what's your game plan?

    It will be a year of injecting my Forteo before we know if it has made a difference...and I'm afraid of needles, and possible serious side effects, but I knew I had to inject it in spite of fear. The only game plan I had was not to do it and face probability of many future bone fractures for the rest of my life. If I start to have side effects, I'll call my doctor.

    That's about all I have to share.

    You're smart. You'll make a matter what your doctors tell you, I think you'll be saying "yes, BUT....."and will do what you want, not what they are recommending.

    I'll be thinking of you. :)

  • Oh please don't despair! I was in your place for years. I took charge of my disorder because no one else helped me! Guided meditation helped train my brain.

    You see, our brains are like an untrained puppy. It will pee everywhere if you let it. But if you train that puppy, it will do what YOU want.

    Meditation is how you train your brain so it doesn't randomly bring up scary thoughts without your control.

    This is not forever, but it is a place in your life where you need to work to help yourself. Learn and read about your disorder. Take charge! You are strong!

  • Thank you! I been wanting to try meditation but I don't know where to start.

  • Google, "guided meditation " on your phone. Then listen to some of them using headphones. Listen for a voice that you like. Choice the one that makes you feel good. Lay in bed and get cozy. Listen to the person talking to you. Do what he tells you to do. It's so so easy and simple that it's crazy! People think it's difficult but no! Meditation has been around for thousand's of years. Prozac has been around for only 20 years. Look to the wise people in life and do what they do. Like the Dali Lama.

    Meditate every morning before you get out of bed. Medicate again when you go to bed. Try to go to keep your bed time hours regular.

    And Repeat each and every day!

    It's so easy but has the best results!

  • Thank you. I also have an app about meditation that I haven't used. Maybe I should give it a try.

  • Awesome idea! This will help you!

    Take this help!

    Make meditation your own personal thang!

  • Deb1658, we think the same. I do the same every day. I'm a big believer in meditation and deep breathing. Finding the right voice that is soothing to you is also important. I find it interesting that as many times as I have listened to audio tapes, something new will catch my interest from time to time. Keep on with what you are doing, it works. x

  • Thanks for your encouragement!

  • I don't know anything about meditation... do I just close my eyes and listen?

  • Yes. Just close your eyes and listen. Breath deeply and relax. Imagine yourself on a soft cloud and your body is sinking into it's softness. Then listen to the voice. You may want to listen to some and see what you like.

    It's that easy!

  • Woww we on the same thing its really crazy like im going through the weed thing for about four months already may i ask how did it w ent away i feel like ama stay like this for ever 😩😩

  • When I was a teen it went away I have no idea how but it took a very long time. I remember not taking anything for it. It was bad. I quit my job and all. Then one day I forced myself to do stuff and then gone. Now as an adult I can't get rid of it. It's been weeks. I am even on medication and nothing

  • Yeah i have now im only 20 years old i was smoking weed for 2 or 3 years until one day i was smoking got a panick attack for about 30 minutes went home fell asleep woke up next day like shit my heart racing and i kept going to the ER mostly everyday they saying it wasnt laced or anything probably to strong plus me and my friend was smoking he was calm i was the only one going nuts and i have alot of symthoms my vison just like you and my heart and shortness of breath been like this for about four month now its alright before it was worst but im just down thinking this would never go away because it just hits me out no where and i think im sick or something really is wrong with me .

  • I feel the same way. It's hell. I have gotten some good advice from people here. Like meditation,exercise, magnesium, vitamins, and so on. It's hard. It sucks!

  • Yeah would this ever go away the weed the thing i guess it triggered me because when i use to smoke i use to feel my heart racing but i wouldnt pay it no mind probably it got worst after what happen to me i feel like everything change its not like before i use to have fun and go out and would drink now i cant even do that its like it makes me sad because this really changed my life i wanna enjoy hoe i was now i just feel like im just dying or something and its been four month with out smoking and from that it happend it happen around thanks giving and im still going through this like why it didnt just happen that one day then just go way like literaly im nervous everyday because these things are happen every day and it wont leave . writing all this a big tear went down my face i never experince nun of this after what happen just by smoking that stupid joint im just really down im sorry

  • I know the feeling. I want to cry all day. I can't even enjoy my family. I lost myself completely. I send you a message

  • 4-5 months ago I smoked weed and now I'm dealing with the Anxiety pretty much the same except mine happened 4 days after the fact and wasn't as extreme as you

  • Let me know if you find anything that helps you. I'll do the same.

  • What I've found is literally doing everything you know is good for you. Sounds simple but hey. We all know what's good for us but we don't do it.

    Mediate, don't drink, don't do drugs, eat clean, drink lots of water, take vitamins, mediate exercise etc

  • My brain seems to me stuck in sleep mode fight or flight mode so I'm going to need a little bit more than vitamins I think. I am starting meditation tonight

  • Good. But remember good self help well on the medication will allow you to heal

  • You are right. Thank You. I actually hate the fact that I had to run and get some medication... that didn't even work. I have never been on meds before. Hate them. I don't do drugs or drink. I'm thinking to maybe stop the medication and go the natural route. Just a thought.

  • Medication is good to help you heal. My opinion is it shouldn't be long term

  • I agree.

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