I lost myself.. please help

This derealization is the worst thing that could have happened to me. I just don't even know where it came from. I never suffered from severe anxiety or depression. It's hard to believe this actually comes from anxiety. I just don't know what to do anymore. All I keep thinking is my kids. They need me and I'm here crawled in a ball in my bed. This is horrific and I really don't know how I'm going to get better. If anyone dealt with this and used medication that helped, PLEASE PLEASE let me know. I am desperate.

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53 Replies

  • Are you on any prescription medications? Can you describe your symptoms

  • I been on Zoloft for over 5 weeks and nothing. I feel unreal. Like I'm in a dream. Everything outside is intense. I start looking around and all of a sudden I get this brain buzzing sensation that travels all over my body and then I stop feeling my body and it's all in my eyes like an out of body experience with tunnel vision and all. Seems fake. Then my heart start palpitating and I start screaming that I can't breath when I can. And all I want to do is run.

  • I feel for you! I was on Zoloft for over a year and had the same experience!! I went off the Zoloft 6 weeks ago. I'm slowly feeling better. Still tons of anxiety, but I actually prefer it to the extreme "weirdness" I experienced while taking Zoloft!

  • Zoloft gave you derealization? I wonder if it's making mine worst

  • I can't say if Zoloft is making your derealization worse, and I encourage you to speak to your doctor about it. I want to clarify that I had derealization before I started taking Zoloft, so I don't think the medication made it worse. My experience with Zoloft was that it stopped my panic attacks and sweaty hands and feet. All of my other symptoms remained. I gradually weaned myself off the Zoloft over a 6-month period. I'm feeling better and better every day. My panic attacks and sweaty extremities have not returned. I was on Zoloft for over a year, and i stopped taking it according to my doctor's plan for weaning me off of it.

  • How did you get rid of the derealization? Any advice? I'm glad you are feeling better.

  • I tried so many different ways to make myself feel better. I don't know for sure what helped get rid of the derealization. The Zoloft may have done it. I didn't have any more derealization after the panic attacks stopped. I started on a very low dose of Zoloft -12.5 mg. Under the direction of my doctor, I slowly increased the dose over the course of several months. The panic attacks didn't stop until I was taking 75 mg. per day. It took 3 1/2 months for me to get to that dose because I'm afraid of medication and didn't want to take too much. I don't know if that information is helpful, but I strongly urge you to see your doctor. I didn't feel well on 75 mg., so my doctor advised me to take 100 mg. I tried it for one day and felt awful. Awfully awful! So I stayed on 75. mg. for approximately 1 1/2 years. I never felt well, but at least I didn't have panic attacks. I ended up getting a new doctor. She's the one who guided me in the process of stopping Zoloft completely.

  • I have been on Zoloft for a little over a month now. It's not working. I started at 25, then every week or so I went up. 50,75,100. 100 was awful and I called the doctor and told her I was having trembling, bruising, back pain, stomach pain, more anxiety, and she said to lower the dose starting last Friday to 50 until back to 25 so she can switch medications this week. So yeah Zoloft is not my friend.

  • CatP36, here's what I think you should do because I can tell you need immediate help.

    1. You should tell all your relatives and friends and neighbours about the full extent of your illness and you are worried for yourself and your children. Don't hold back, tell them all and tell them everything. Some of them should step up and offer help.

    2. You need an emergency appointment to see your doctor at the very earliest or if the docto's surgery/office is closed go to A&E/ ER. Tell the doctor in full how bad you feel and you've been on zoloft for 5 weeks and it hasn't helped one bit and you're scared for yourself and your children. Tell them in full exactly how bad you are and you fear for the future and exagerate so they get the message. Say you find it hard to believe it's anxiety alone and ask if there's a physical cause such as a thyroid imbalance etc. I still think it's anxiety based but keep your options open.

    Ask if you can have a short course of diazepam/valium because you need immediate relief because you can't stand it any more. Forget any reservations you have about taking meds as this is important.

    I tell you again, CatP36, THIS DEREALIZATION FEELING WILL NOT LAST FOREVER. You need a long period of rest, is thete anybody who can look after your children for a while to give you a chance to rest, maybe grandparents or good friends your own age with children.

    Remember that this group is always here for you.

  • Thank You

    I fear for my children and me not for their safety but because they need me and I'm here in bed fearing derealization. I already called my psichriatrist and explained this and told her the Zoloft wasn't working. She is suppose to call me today to maybe switch. I didn't take the Zoloft today because 100mg makes me extreamly tired so I'm going to take it in the evening. I also don't sleep. I wake up at 2am every morning which I'm sure is not helping the derealization. I think maybe I should take the sleeping pills they prescribed me. I also have Xanax which I hate taking. I have gotten my thyroid checked and it's normal. I'm just here wondering why me. I was so happy 6 weeks ago.

    Thank You... I really hope you are right and this feeling leaves soon

  • I was put on Xanax to try for a month but got nothing from it. I think in many cases it is a situation of trial and error to find the right med for a person. I am glad you got in touch with your physciatrist and hope she gets in touch soon. After 3 episodes of waking in the mid of the night with fear and terror I worry about going to bed. I can't believe I had about 20 years of normal enjoyment of life, and not for the most part I'm a shaking, crying, gasping coward. My husband is "my rock" but he has no answers either.

  • It's just the worst!

  • It's horrible isn't it 😩 I have fog brain, dizziness, head pressure feels dream like. I was doing so well controlling my anxiety and my dizziness and fog brain was better and suddenly it's returned and it's making me panic again it's frustrating. I also have 2 children and can't do certain things with them makes me unhappy. Never thought anxiety could do this to us.😢

  • I don't feel foggy or head pressure etc, it is the overwhelming feeling of FEAR, fear I'm going to die, or not be able to breathe....always fear of death....the nausea is the pits

  • Has anyone checked your vitamin b12 levels. You seem to be describing neuro psychiatric symptoms of a deficiency.

    It's really important not to take any supplimental b12 until all test are complete though as suppliments skew test results.

    If you've ever had stomach surgery, a hyolori infection, don't eat meat/dairy, had an anaesthetic that used nitrous oxide, take antacids, metformin, use the contraceptive pill or have any family history of autoimmune disorders you might need testing for a b12 deficiency.

    If the Gp won't test you can do it at home privately in the uk through so someone like Medichecks.co.uk

    Gp's will settle for unbelievably low levels when you can get symptoms at levels anywhere below 500pg/ml and maybe even much higher in certain people.

  • Thank You. I am going to call my doctor so he can run more test. I like in the states.

  • Pop over to the pernicious anaemia society group page on here and have a look over the pinned posts and the posts from contributors.

    Vit b's and D have a role in causing/helping with anxiety symptoms.

  • Is that alsmost like L- methylfolate? She told me I was lacking that but I don't know how she figured that out.

  • That's vitamin b9 not b12. B12 and B9 need each other to work.

    It's important not to take b9 (folic acid) until you know your b12 levels are high enough though.

    I'm not an expert by any means I'm learning my self after finding out I'd had low b12 for a long time.

  • It sounds like your hormones might be out of whack. I know when my progesterone was really low or when it was going down I'd feel weird like that. I would wake up in a panic and so scared like something was wrong I felt scared and sick to my stomach palpitations & like I'd been here b4 and we just moved in this house. It was creepy. I did research & put two & two together and yup it was low progesterone. Sounds weird but true. It's gone now. Thank you God!!! God bless you and I hope you feel better. Ask your doc to check your progesterone levels. ♥️ You're going to be ok. Remember try to stay calm cause anxiety causes breathing issues that scare us into thinking we can't breathe but you r breathing. Just relax and know you're really ok. Don't worry so much dear. It's ok. Look in the mirror and tell yourself you're ok. 🤗😊

  • I used to take Zoloft and it was terrible. Made me feel worse. I take low dose of Xanax now. Half of 2.5 not much. Just enough & as needed I don't take it everyday. Zoloft is terrible. It might not be agreeing with you.

  • Zoloft is amazing. I felt awful when I first started taking them and believe me it was a battle to stay on them. I felt awful without them and awful with them. I was also terrified of meds.

    The way I felt without them was unexplainable. I just wanted to die. I had 24/7 severe anxiety, dr/dp and was confined to my bed for 1yr. I am a single parent to 3 kids don't ask how I managed as I don't even know??

    I never thought I'd get better. I accepted I was gone and my life was over.

    I read many reviews on Zoloft and majority said wait it out it gets better so that's exactly what I did.

    Please stick with them and up your dose if you're still not feeling right. I'm now 14 weeks in (just upped to 150mg this week makes a huge difference for the better) and I've only starting to see the huge benefits very recently.

    I thought my life was over but this medicine is literally a life saver. I'm me again someone who I thought I'd lost forever. I still get the odd feeling of dp/dr but it's easy to shake off whereas before I would hide in my bed just like you. Plus it's still early days on the meds.

    Believe me I tried to battle this illness without meds and it's just not possible.

    Good luck 😊

  • I am on almost 7 weeks of Zoloft and I have lost so much weight. The derealization is still there on full force and I haven't slept in 7 weeks. Wake up every morning at 3am with massive anxiety for no reason. I'm talking about I can't even stay still. When I first started taking Zoloft it also gave me acne. This is why she is thinking of switching me. I don't know if I'm having all these effects because she upped my dose to fast. Now I'm actually scared to change since I read so many positive stories. I just want this derealization to go away. It is hell. I can't even have my eyes opened for long because of it. I'm exhausted

  • Honestly stick with it! I lost loads of weight constantly feeling sick etc (now weigh more than I ever have) and had severely disrupted sleep I was wide awake everyday at 5am.

    My sleep is now great and the dr/dp comes and goes but much easier to handle.

    I felt awful still at 7 weeks so please hold on. I upped my dose very slowly as I was scared but it's best to go up quick as the sooner you get the right dose the sooner you'll start feeling better.

    I've heard a lot of people say they felt a lot better at 150mg.

  • So you are on 14 weeks and you are just starting to feel better? I don't know what to do. I was at 100mg for 4 days and made me horrific tired and I was trembling. So she told me to lower the dose to 50 so she can switch medication next week

  • It's a long journey with Zoloft it's not an overnight miracle cure. You will start to very gradually feel better and it really does take time. I felt unbelievably awful and scared when I first started Zoloft I wanted to pack it in numerous times but I fought through it as I was so desperate for the meds to work. I increase from 12.5mg up to 25mg then 37.5 then 50mg and have carried on increasing the same way so I didn't get such harsh side effects. I'm now at 150mg and must say I can seriously notice a massive difference.

  • I just want this to go away. I am here trying to take my kids to school and I'm just looking around because everything is weird and I start feeling this panic fake feeling come over me. I rather be on my bed with my eyes closed all day. I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm loosing all hope.

  • I feel for you , i was in same situations not long ago , my dr put me on zoloft and made me even worst , with all problems that i hade brfore with zoloft my libodo went to 0000 , so i spoke to my pcd and he put me on clonazepan 0,5 once a day and beleive me for 3 weeks my life changed , and now i only take 1 when i needed ....i thinh you should change your medications ....i wish you all the brst ... you will beat this asap ....good luck and take magneziyum 500mg once a day for 3-4 months ...i love you and you will be goood ..:))))))

  • Hello, just a new name checking in to see how you doing just THIS day. Hope a few moments were better than yesterday.

    You have had responses from members of this community who appear to know a great deal more about Zoloft than I did, so I won't talk about that.

    Please try to remember just one good pleasant moment you had today and share it with me if you can.

    I'll be happy to read about it.

  • One good thing from today is seeing my kids and husband. That's the only thing that has made me happy these 7 weeks of nightmare

  • Ok, what does your husband look like? I bet he's a handsome dude. Is he tall? Is he fair skinned or have red hair? Tell me,tell me, tell me,:)

  • He's taller than me that's for sure lol.... and dark skinned, with muscles. He's kinda sexy 😂

  • All right, go girl! Dark,tall and handsome.

    And a lady killer too! And he want YOU instead of all those other women out there.

    Mine is tall and his red hair is now golden white...very fair skin.

    (with his laundry in the dryer buzzing for me...but hat will wait for a few minutes more...)

  • Sounds like we have hooties

  • Absolutely.....It took the end of bad marriage for me and mine and a few long years alone before my husband and I met. But too late realistically in life to have children. Miss that.

    And he married me ten years ago come this July in spite of my constant day to day dealing with my old acquaintances (depression and anxiety).

    Think you and I are both fortunate with our husbands, yes?

  • Deffinetly for sure

  • Well that laundry is screaming at me now, so I guess I better go for now.

    Did you notice how long we "talked"? And I enjoyed it very much and it took my mind off other things for awhile. How about you?

    So thanks for being there today for me. Please write again,ok?

  • Hey, are you still there? I think maybe you left before my last message thanking you for talking to me so long. I mean it. Gets lonely sometimes no matter if my day has gone better or not so good. Was hoping it was ok with you .....and look how long you and I were

    able to concentrate on our "girl talk". Yea!

  • Thank You! It sure did help. I need lots of talks. I'm usually able to concentra pretty well when typing but my body still sends fear and weird feelings. It's exhausting

  • Yeah, it is exhausting....and I feel my days are sooooo long when they have high anxiety. But look how long you were able deal with your terrible anxiety while we "chatted".....PLEASE see this as a step and an accomplishment. When my anxiety is at its worst, it's like I am frozen...can't type,can't carry on a conversation, I mean ZERO.

    Want to share something:

    My big accomplishment today was learning to do a daily injection of a medication to stop osteoporosis. But it's ok...the needle is tiny, really tiny...not like the needle when one with a flu shot. But I am such a coward with any needle. But I survived! A nurse was sent to chatter at me about all the instructions which I had already read on the internet. I could have used a xanax after she just stopped talking and left. :)

    Let's talk again soon,ok?

    I wish you a better night with your family.

  • Sorry to talk business but I have had horrendous anxiety with GAD, and only a benzo has kept it under control. Xanax helped after a few days at the very beginning, but it wasn't but a short term drug. You sound like you need a benzo right now and that still you would need a day or so because you've worked yourself up to a stubborn "dug in" level of anxiety because you haven't been offered anything that could handle your anxiety yet. Zoloft is inadequate. And it can be a bear to get off of. Your doctor is following current wisdom which is anything BUT wisdom. It's foolishness.

    I'm sorry that you've been caught up in a foolish trend that isn't doing you any good. You can't get a good anti-anxiety response with an antidepressant. You just can't. It's wishful thinking. You need a mild tranquilizer like Tranxene or Klonopin. Not for the long term but for now. To bring you peace for now. You need a doctor who's willing to prescribe what you need. Maybe yours will do that if you ask, I don't know. Maybe if you ask him or her to only use it temporarily that will be okay with him. You need a break. You're exhausted from the non-stop anxiety.

  • I agree. A friend of mine told me the same thing. She said I needed to be sedated for a few days so the brain can take a break. It's been non stop for 7 weeks

  • That friend is looking out for your best interests. 7 weeks of non-stop anxiety building up is not good at all. I've been there and I know what it's like. You definitely need a break. Possibly if you present your case to your doctor you'll get the help you need. It's harder to ignore you when you show that you have full knowledge of what has happened to you.

  • I have too experienced derealization. From my understanding . It is when your mind is so stressed and your anxiety is at its highest for whatever reason the reason may be.( maybe something is going on that is making you stress)But all of this builds up and a part of your mind shuts down (derealization) . I have experienced it. The only advice I can give you is to let yourself know that it won't last forever. Keep going on with your daily life no matter how hard it is. Do what you normally do and Enjoy your life. It is only temporary. Once I started to do what I normally do during my days and kept myself busy it disappeared. I know it's easier said than done. But trust me IT WILL NOT LAST FOREVER!

  • Thank you. I will try but is sure is hard

  • I know you have a lot of replies but I hope you see this and read this one. I was going through the exact same thing that you are going through right now. I went through it for a very long time. A couple years to be exact. During that couple of years I became pregnant and after I had my baby the derealization became much much worse because I got to the point where I could not sleep anymore, I developed insomnia and became very ill. I thought I was losing my mind completely, I told everyone that I was going crazy and had no idea what was going on anymore and I got to the point where I could not eat or drink or function at all. It became so bad I was so weak that I could not walk and I felt like giving up completely. Finally I had a severe panic attack that sent me straight to the E.R. because the derealization got to the point where I could not handle it anymore I begged to go to the hospital and be admitted. They gave me a tiny little pill called "Lorazepam" now I call this drug a miracle drug because it literally saved my life. It's a muscle relaxer used to treat anxiety and panic attacks, and it is similar to Xanax but without the zombie effect Xanax gives you. I was completely calm within 30 minutes after taking it, I was able to go home and sleep for the next 15 hours without any worry in my mind. I was able to start eating again, and getting back on track. I went to see my primary doctor and she gave me Prozac along with the Lorazepam. I stayed on those 2 for almost a year and now I am off of both of them and doing 100% better. I also went to counseling for the anxiety which also helped a great deal. Please please do not give up hope, I hope this helps you. You are not alone and you will get through this. Please try the lorazepam, talk to a doctor about it. Please let me know if this helped at all. Thank you, take care

  • I couldn't help to shed some tears while reading this. I really appreciate you taking the time to comment. This gives me hope. I am lost. I am in a big nightmare that I can't snap out of but you and everyone else on this fourm give me hope. I have an appointment with my psichriatrist on Thursday to talk about switching medications and I will bring this up. I honestly don't know how this happened to me. I never had severe anxiety or depression. I don't drink and I don't do drugs. Now I'm crawled up in my bed battheling my brain that won't shut it. Also I don't think I have gotten any sleep in 9 weeks. Maybe 1 or 2 hours a night. I'm a zombie.

  • It is a hellish nightmare. Please do mention the lorazapam to your psychiatrist and try it, I hope it will give you some relief like it did me. It seemed to just take all my worries away and completely relax me enough to get back to myself. I thought that was never going to be possible. Your mind can be a very powerful thing and your thoughts can be too. I never really knew that until I went through the derealization, it is a scary scary thing, but I made it through and I know you can too. It will take a little time but it is very possible. If you need anything at all don't hesitate to ask, I wish you the very very best. Please keep me posted on how you are doing.

  • Thank You so much. I will keep you posted for sure. I'm always here since no one understand me and I don't have much people to talk too. This really has been the worst thing that could have happened to me as an adult.

  • Yeah I didn't really know or talk to anyone who understood what I was going through at the time, that's why when I saw your article I had to comment and share my experience in hopes of helping someone going through the same thing I went through. I read a lot of articles about people going through it, but never really read anything that was super helpful. I just hope I have helped by reaching out to you.

  • You sure did help. Thank You

    This week I'm going to get the medication changed and I'm scared but I am willing to try anything to free myself from this hell. I have never taken any meds in my life but I had to do it for my kids. This stuff is horrific. I had a visitor and I couldn't even spend time with her because I was mostly in my room. Can't even go anywhere else in the house. I feel so weak minded. But I'm praying to get better soon

  • I'm really hoping the lorazepam helps you as much as it did me, I'm not one for taking a lot of medication either but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do and I thank the nurse for putting me on the Lorazepam that night I went to the hospital. It's not supposed to be a long-term drug only because it can become habit forming but please don't let that freak you out, I was on it for months because I needed it to help me get back to myself and I got off of it just fine with minor withdrawals like occasional headaches. I once was at my mother's house and I could not get out of bed and was throwing up constantly because of how afraid I was. I remember telling my mom I didn't know who I was anymore and sometimes I felt like I didn't know who she was, I felt like nothing was real and that I was confused about everything, she was really worried about me. I even tried checking myself into the looney bin but they didn't let me stay because I wasn't trying to hurt myself or anyone else, I just felt like I was losing my mind. It was the worse thing I have ever gone through. Anytime I start to think back on it I just remind myself how I'm fine, I got through it, I take a deep breath and I'm ok. Plus I have the lorazepam to take as needed incase my mind starts to feel a little off again and I get panicky. I can say though I have improved durasticly

  • I am glad you recovered from this nightmare. You give me hope. Thank You

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