Why do boys treat me so badly? : I was a... - Anxiety Support

Anxiety Support

46,470 members46,771 posts

Why do boys treat me so badly?


I was a very bubbly, happy, young woman who was positive about life and had very little problems...until this time 2 years ago.

I am now 22 and I've figured out what has changed my mental state and brought a lot of unhappiness in my life; boys. Boys have killed my self esteem, and for the last two years I have felt not good enough. My thinking has become so irrational and I've never compared my life to others until 2 years ago. Here's a summary of the events:

2 years ago - the first boy I liked.. he slept with a lot of girls and my best friend hated him as he was a bad influence. He didn't like me back & I was heartbroken for the summer.. got over it

7 months later - happened to see each other on a night out got drunk and lost my virginity to him. Realised he wasn't worth it & soon after he had a new girlfriend..

1 month later - got with guy number 2, slept with him.. we talked for a few months and then he never messaged.

1 month later - guy from uni thought I was hot on a night out.. we slept together and I loved his confidence .. got loads of feelings for him and I was just a side plate.. he had slept with many girls at the same time then told me to piss off as he had a gf.. I was heartbroken over the summer.

During the summer - I realised one of these boys gave me 2 STDs... got very ill and one std took 3 months to clear it was the hardest summer of my life. During summer guy no2 started messaging but I played hard to get. He took me on dates after 5 months of talking then we got official. I broke up with him after a month as he treated me like he didn't care and I cried and was sad a lot. Seen on his social media he is out with another girl and I feel crap.

Why is it the boys who hurt me so much end up on the better end with a new partner while I struggle to see my best friends happy in relationships. I'm lonely, trying to better my life and I'm still getting treated like I'm worthless :( please help me.. it's making me ill thinking so negatively

6 Replies

Oh Sweetpea, that's a rough run with the boys. 💔

You are worth having a good relationship, and that starts with you. You deserve to be happy with you. Love who you are, with or without a man on your arm. Then when you do meet a wonderful man you will know as he will be someone who makes you smile, makes your heart sing and complements you, like icing complements a great cake. You don't need the icing, but it makes the cake that bit tastier.

What I mean though, is turn your focus back on you and what you can give yourself so you are happier. Do things you love, enjoy your hobbies, see your best friends.

You can't expect someone to make you happy. Neither can you let yourself think you only deserve the boys that don't respect you. You need to know that you deserve high respect and choose wisely so that you can accept that graciously.

Let these experiences be ones of learning, let them shape your future, let them help you make great decisions for you.

Take care 😘💕

Cicinoodle in reply to Hidden

You don't need a man to be happy. They usually just get in the way of your life anyway.

Stay true to yourself and never ever let them bring you down.

You are probably too good for them anfd they know it.

hold out for the best!

From a mans perspective, I think maybe your readiness to sleep with men is part of the problem.

You'll not find love in a one night stand that's for sure.

Firstly I'd say you need to find happiness within your own life. Searching for happiness in someone else is only going to make you miserable.

Find yourself. Do the things you like, be around friends and family or just people you enjoy being around. If you find a boy within those circles that you want to spend more time with then that's great.

Often boys just want sex and will say/do anything to get it. Find a man, someone who can be a gentleman, even though you'll be sexually attracted to them hold off as long as you can. Find someone who is happy with your company and sex is just a bonus.

Apologies if I appear blunt.

I just believe you can't find happiness in someone else. Your potential partner can give you happiness but you need to be happy within yourself otherwise you'll be chasing something that wont actually make you happy

I so agree with everything you said.


As a man and as a daughters' parent I'd suggest you to change your perspective to men upside down. Don't do what men want you to do, instead do what you should do to avoid them from doing whatever they want to do.

Also don't try to be appealing to men, men already do have that sense inherent. If you do so you'd just give them a message of 1 night stand pleasure possibility. By removing the artificial appealing you will remove all those bad men and eventually the real men will stay. The real gentleman you need doesn't look for appeal, he looks for your values instead. Be a woman of value not appealing.

First you have to figure out / separate sexual attraction from emotional need or want. Might help to make friends with couples who are older (say in there early 30's) and watch there relationships and learn. As well as for now put all guys in the "friend zone" if you come across one who get your undies in a knot (going to sound blunt here) go find yourself a private place and take care of the matter alone.

What you are experiencing is what most go through in there high school years. Nothing wrong with later in life but that adds to some confusion. Take 100 guys by the time they are 25, 85 know what they have to do to get a booty call. Out of that 85, 75 will do what ever to get some and not care along the way. SO that leaves you with 10 normal guys out of 100. If your wondering about the initial 15 those could be anyone with other sexual preferences, concentrating on there careers etc.

You may also like...