In a constant cycle of convincing myself I... - Anxiety Support

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In a constant cycle of convincing myself I'm dying going to the doctors and not trusting what they've told me- trapped in a cycle.

Abbiek99 profile image
44 Replies

Hi I'm new to this and read a lot of posts on health anxiety , I'd really appreciate a response because my family laugh it off but I am loosing control and I don't think I can cope with this for much longer.

I started smoking around 7 months ago and since then my anxiety levels have gotten worse. It was a bad idea , I'm only 17 but since I've started smoking ive convicned myself I have every type of cancer going. I've been to the doctors and A&E with pains under my ribs , lumps in my throat , pains in my breasts and armpits yet nothing has been found. Each time I come home feeling reassured but the next da I convince myself they're lying and I haven't told them little parts of information I should have. Lately I feel sick a lot , the pain in my stomach and chest isn't unbearable and I go to sleep to avoid whatever disease my mind conjures up , I do have ibs and a suspected problem with excessive acid. I have tried talking to my family about the breast pain and abdominal pains I have but each time they'd laugh it off , they mock my anxiety and never take my health worries seriously which I don't blame them for reslly, but it would Ben nice if someone was there to really support me.

It has gotten to the point where I don't try wth my college work because I have genuinely convinced myself it doesn't matter because I will be dead in the next year or so. Every advertisement or billboard I see with the C word on makes me think it's a sign that I really do have it , and I'm excusing it as anxiety.

The constant cycle is "ah don't worry it's just anxiety," - "but what if its not anxiety and something serious that you aren't getting treated,"

I'd really appreciate some help , I don't know what to do now I don't trust doctors or anyone else's reassurance no matter how much of it I get , I'm trapped.

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Abbiek99 profile image
Abbiek99
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44 Replies
Abbiek99 profile image
Abbiek99

Sorry Excuse spelling mistakes

Can you stop smoking?

The smoke is really bad for ibs.

Why stop studying when it is something that might help take your mind off things, it might help you to relax more. You do need to keep busy so that you don't give yourself time to feel anxious, do things you really like to do or learn new things, even come onto here for a chat sometimes if you feel anxious. I have anxiety and ibs also, I find that eating one or two bananas per day helps with both. Give it a go maybe?

I hope you will be OK, chat anytime. This is a really good forum full of amazing people who will give you support.

Take care of yourself.

Abbiek99 profile image
Abbiek99 in reply to

I'm cutting down on smoking rather than go cold turkey all at once , but yeah I am actually making some progress with it. Thankyou so much for your advice I have only just seen the replies , this site is wonderful , I'm amazed by the support and understanding,I am going to try focus more on doing things I enjoy so I don't have a sense much time to allow my mind to drift off.

in reply to Abbiek99

I hope it works for you, just don't ever give up trying.

Good luck! ☺

Alexjohnfuller94 profile image
Alexjohnfuller94

Hey, my name is Alex I've been exactly the same as you but with Heart related illnesses since I was in college (I'm 22 now) and even watching a movie where someone has some sort of heart condition will set me off on a anxiety/ major panic trip all day, a lot of days I don't eat great anymore, the only thing that's actually helpful is coming onto sites like this and venting what you feel and discussing things with someone who isn't going to think your crazy and you're comfortable to spill everything to, you will get better in time at dealing with it I promise you that, today is the first day I signed up to a site so I could talk to others as I think us guys have gotta stick together and overcome our anxiety as a team, if you haven't got meds for anxiety I'd suggest going on something weak and try and stress to your doctor about seeing someone like a specialist as I have heard they are very very good at giving you the knowledge you need to understand the things you are feeling and the process that your body goes through that leads to your fear, and can give you ways of stopping it before you get to the panic part.

Abbiek99 profile image
Abbiek99 in reply to Alexjohnfuller94

This is the first post I've ever made on a site to try talk to others , I've always been afraid I'd be ignored or assumed crazy but you're completely right , I think we do need to stick together and I love the support everyone offers each other on here. I'm sorry to hear about your heart related illness. I can relate to the panic trips because those really throw you off your day , i hope you're doing well thankyou for your advice.

Goldfish_ profile image
Goldfish_

This is probably some of the healthiest years of your life, with the lowest risk of cancer and serious illness.

You will remain anxious unless you trust someone. What about trusting in God to look after you.

You are responsible for creating your own problems and it would help if you could learn from your family and learn to laugh it off.

in reply to Goldfish_

God? I respect people have faith but do you not go to a doctor when you are unwell?

Goldfish_ profile image
Goldfish_ in reply to

Not if your problem is health anxiety

in reply to Goldfish_

Doctors can help with it.

Goldfish_ profile image
Goldfish_ in reply to

Usually they reinforce it by undertaking investigations.

I say this even though I am a doctor myself

in reply to Goldfish_

Ah right, you mean they make people feel worse by investigating it, you might have a point there.

But saying a god will look after you, that is 100% true is it?

Goldfish_ profile image
Goldfish_ in reply to

I think it's a helpful concept if you distrust all the results and comments by doctors and others

in reply to Goldfish_

It's not a cure tho, unproven fantasy.

Goldfish_ profile image
Goldfish_ in reply to

Have a read of this. But avoid doing the calm clinic test. They are rogues.

calmclinic.com/anxiety/chri...

in reply to Goldfish_

But this is aimed at people who believe in this God. Lots of people don't. Although I respect that people have faiths I think it shouldn't be advertised as some kind of healing

Lots of stuff in the Bible is as equally bad as there are good parts. I don't want to continue this conversation, I had enough of religion when I was growing up. I don't want to come onto here and read it.

Why don't you see about starting a forum for people with religious faith.

in reply to

Totally agree. I’m an atheist. How can we trust in God when we don’t believe in god?? Almost all responses here are helpful. But keep god out of it please.

Here2helpxLx profile image
Here2helpxLx

Hi. I feel for you, I'm nearly 21 and my anxiety has been around for 3/4 months now. I have chest/breast pain all the time and convince my self I have every sort of 'C' under the sun. I also hate that word and normally refer to it as the C bomb as I darent say it. Whenever I go on Facebook or the internet I always see posts about the C bomb, and think it's a sign! It's horrible, my boyfriend laughs about it but when it's in your head it's hard to believe people!!

aquamarina81 profile image
aquamarina81 in reply to Here2helpxLx

Hi I had a crushing pain in the middle of my chest and in/behind my left breast. I was sat on the sofa bent over head on my lap the pain was like someone standing on my chest no getting away from it like a tight band. My chest was swollen so I was unable to wear a bra. Embarrassing 😳I couldn't shake the heavy feeling in my chest. I couldn't sleep and felt weak.

After 5 days of breathlessness / anxiety putting it off due to further worry also about not being believed/undressing in front of a dr again I went to the doctors anxiety-ridden.

I was sweating with stress/fear my pulse was racing on the oximeter thing they put on your finger.

She said "Are you sure there's anything you're not telling me?" Omg I think she thought maybe I was on drugs or something.

She felt the areas and listened to my chest said she would refer me to the breast clinic. I went numb all over with fear.

The pain in my chest was something called Costochondritis to do with the rib cartialiage however you spell it. Does that sound like what you're experiencing?

I was extremely anxious about going to the breast clinic. When I got there, there was a sense of dread atmosphere. Couples sitting together me on my own.

When I went in there was a male registtrar, female healthcare assistant and very young male junior doctor. I felt vulnerable and outnumbered.

I've no idea why to this day but the male registrar triggered me big time. I don't know why he scared me. Maybe he thought I was a time waster?

They asked if the junior could watch while they examined my breasts and I said no - as I thought if I said yes - then they would ask can he have a feel too (for educational purposes). No way. 😱

Does your mind race off like this? 😳 catastrophic thinking.

I couldn't bear the male registrar to do it 😢 so they got a female junior doctor in to do it while they were away on the other side of the curtain.

I hated undressing knowing they could've walked round at any time. 😳

Unfortunately I had what they call an Emotional Flashback as I laid down undressed to the waist arms up round the back of my head. Reminded me of a previous sexual assault I'd been pinned down like that before.

I was shaking badly I couldn't help it. I couldn't bear her touching me, being 'over me' if you see what I mean. She said puzzled "oh, why so frightened?"

Then I had a scan with a male consultant radiologist who was kind and respectful. No flashbacks etc.🤔

I was advised to take Evening Primrose Oil for the Non-Cyclical Breast Pain.

I had Costochondritis on and off then it went away. I used Ibuprofen Gel.

I've learned since then that these problems were probably all caused by Adrenal Fatigue, that is caused by severe emotional stress.

Hope you feel better soon😊

Here2helpxLx profile image
Here2helpxLx in reply to aquamarina81

My twin sister has been having chest pains pretty much all her life and she went to the drs that confirmed it was costochondritus so I think I'm experiencing the same thing! Going to the doctors this week to get it confirmed for definate. It's horrible.

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to Here2helpxLx

Here2helpxLx, Good Luck with your doctor's appointment this week. Hope you get some answers..

Btdoffing profile image
Btdoffing in reply to Here2helpxLx

How do they confirm this? Been wondering if that's my problem as well.

Abbiek99 profile image
Abbiek99 in reply to aquamarina81

Oh my goodness I'm so sorry to hear about what you have been through but I admire your bravery of putting yourself through a situation like that alone! I will look into that because it sounds so similar to me thankyou so much. I hope you're doing well.

in reply to aquamarina81

My heart goes out to you. Horrid you suffered like this. Been through this. It is indeed terrifying. There must be a better way. Glad you are ok but what a terrifying and lonely experience 😢

Abbiek99 profile image
Abbiek99 in reply to Here2helpxLx

Yeah I completely understand you ! I darent say the word either, and that's my exact point , it's so drilled into my head no matter how ridiculous it may sound that it's hard for anyone to convince me otherwise. I couldn't find anyone to relate to with it and it's hard to speak to someone with no anxiety about the thoughts you get when you have anxiety

Itsmebandolero profile image
Itsmebandolero

Going through the same. I have gotten blood and Urine test done. Also I quit drinking cold turkey. I have so much stress my anxiety gets worse when I google my symptoms sometimes I accept it's me just being paranoid. But when I feel some itching, and recently feel my throat dry and like something blocking it like a sore throat. I freak out and I deny it's anxiety doing this to me. For the worse part I have nightmares every night and sometimes I wake up with a cold sweat from my back. It aliviates me a lot when I know I'm not the only one like this. I wish I could stop thinking and have my mind focus on other things but at this point I find myself forgetting things. Or can't multitask as I used to.

aquamarina81 profile image
aquamarina81 in reply to Itsmebandolero

Hi the throat thing is called Globus Hysteria. I've had it twice it's frightening isn't it? I worried I might die in the night.

aquamarina81 profile image
aquamarina81 in reply to aquamarina81

Globus Hystericus

Abbiek99 profile image
Abbiek99 in reply to Itsmebandolero

I honestly thought I was the only one as silly as it sounds , I thought people don't have these problems anymore but it's reassuring in a way to know I'm not the only one. Googling symptoms always ends badly & I do the exact same by denying anxiety is doing this and I find it so hard to focus on anything , a lot of the time I sleep. I think the support on this site and knowing you aren't the only one really does help , these replies are helping me so much. I hope you're okay or as closest to as you can get.

aquamarina81 profile image
aquamarina81

Hi Abbiek99 I experience anxiety too I hate it I hope you're ok. :) I had a similar problem last year. I think your family are out of order mocking you.

I had a crushing pain in the middle of my chest and in/behind my left breast. I was sat on the sofa bent over head on my lap the pain was like someone standing on my chest no getting away from it like a tight band. My chest was swollen so I was unable to wear a bra. Embarrassing 😳

I couldn't shake the heavy feeling in my chest. I couldn't sleep and felt weak.

After 5 days of breathlessness / anxiety putting it off due to further worry also about not being believed/undressing in front of a dr again I went to the doctors anxiety-ridden.

I was sweating with stress/fear my pulse was racing on the oximeter thing they put on your finger.

She said "Are you sure there's anything you're not telling me?" Omg I think she thought maybe I was on drugs or something.

She felt the areas and listened to my chest said she would refer me to the breast clinic. I went numb all over with fear.

The pain in my chest was something called Costochondritis to do with the rib cartialiage however you spell it. Does that sound like what you're experiencing?

I was extremely anxious about going to the breast clinic. When I got there, there was a sense of dread atmosphere. Couples sitting together me on my own.

When I went in there was a male registtrar, female healthcare assistant and very young male junior doctor. I felt vulnerable and outnumbered.

I've no idea why to this day but the male registrar triggered me big time. I don't know why he scared me. Maybe he thought I was a time waster?

They asked if the junior could watch while they examined my breasts and I said no - as I thought if I said yes - then they would ask can he have a feel too (for educational purposes). No way. 😱

Does your mind race off like this? 😳 catastrophic thinking.

I couldn't bear the male registrar to do it 😢 so they got a female junior doctor in to do it while they were away on the other side of the curtain.

I hated undressing knowing they could've walked round at any time. 😳

Unfortunately I had what they call an Emotional Flashback as I laid down undressed to the waist arms up round the back of my head. Reminded me of a previous sexual assault I'd been pinned down like that before.

I was shaking badly I couldn't help it. I couldn't bear her touching me, being 'over me' if you see what I mean. She said puzzled "oh, why so frightened?"

Then I had a scan with a male consultant radiologist who was kind and respectful. No flashbacks etc.🤔

I was advised to take Evening Primrose Oil for the Non-Cyclical Breast Pain.

I had Costochondritis on and off then it went away. I used Ibuprofen Gel.

I've learned since then that these problems were probably all caused by Adrenal Fatigue, that is caused by severe emotional stress.

I hope your anxiety eases and I hope they take notice of what you're telling them. Makes me angry when people are dismissed like that.

If only people would understand where you're coming from and take you seriously.

I wish your family would support you during this time

Take care 😊

Plsstop profile image
Plsstop

Hi A biek99 I'm in the same bolt as you no one takes me seriously my Dr has told me it's anxiety but I don't believe her.I'm trying to convince myself I'm OK but I just can't I'm suffering with neck and shoulder pains and lump in throat.

aquamarina81 profile image
aquamarina81 in reply to Plsstop

Hi the problem with the throat is called Globus Hysteria caused by anxiety. Not sure about neck and shoulder though, could also be psychosomatic or however you spell it. I hope you feel better soon.😊

aquamarina81 profile image
aquamarina81 in reply to aquamarina81

Globus Hystericus

Abbiek99 profile image
Abbiek99 in reply to Plsstop

I'm suffering the same neck pains and lump in throat , it's hard to believe doctors when you read everything online about them, but I think we have to trust what they are saying to take the first step forward although it's difficult.

Plsstop profile image
Plsstop

Thank you for your reply 😊

You're worrying way to much for a 17 year old get out and enjoy life, lighten up.

Jemma1987 profile image
Jemma1987

the only way to break the cycle is stop what your doing so trip to the drs, a and e and checking for lumps. Easier said than done i know. Ive been there only a few weeks ago and still finding it hard to stop checking. There self help bookets online which have really helped me there bits you need to fill out. Even reading through the anxiety symptoms put my mind at rest a little.

if you feel the need to check for signs of illness maybe try doing something else something you enjoy doing to take your mind away. I found searching online was a mistake never do that i tried to get into the habbit of going straight to my self help booket.

Abbiek99 profile image
Abbiek99 in reply to Jemma1987

Thankyou, I wasn't sure on how to deal with it or break the cycle but I will try the self help booklets

Jemma1987 profile image
Jemma1987 in reply to Abbiek99

they really have helped me at my worst times. Also they give you at idea of how high your anxiety level is so you can work on lowering it to a normal level.

jimedpear257 profile image
jimedpear257

I have exact symptoms. I am 67 and have suffered for many years. Get help, maybe medicine and therapy. I am still alive at 67, so fight the negative thinking. Find a good friend to talk to that will listen. Hang in there and seek God's help. I will talk any time at jimedpear257@gmail.com

Abbiek99 profile image
Abbiek99 in reply to jimedpear257

Thankyou so much

Missialeri profile image
Missialeri

I'm glad I've seen your post!, I feel exactly the same. This in fact sounds 99% accurate to my problems apart from smoking as I do not smoke, back and forth to a&e convinced something terrible is wrong with me, pains in my chest, armpits. I've convinced myself I have the c word and heart problems and everything. Also as you say I don't trust doctors either, I keep going back. Even though all blood tests have ruled out any serious problems I still think otherwise. I know this probably hasn't helped you like at all but I promise you you'll be okay!. Get whatever tests you want done at the doctor, get them repeated even. The problem that I thought was to be the c word just happened to be glandular fever and mumps. So yes I understand you might think something could be wrong, but your anxiety plays a big part in it. The worry makes you feel sicker. If ever you need to talk at all about any of this I can relate. Sorry if I haven't been much help to you.

Abbiek99 profile image
Abbiek99 in reply to Missialeri

It help so so much to know other people are going through the same so thankyou for your reply ! I think we should all help each other and I'm here if you need anyone to speak about it with also. It's so strange to me that anxiety causes so much , you're so right.

Ffi8 profile image
Ffi8

I felt like I was reading my own past comments reading your post. I haven't been on this site in a while, it was my saviour for a while- getting things off my chest, getting some reassurance. But I needed some time away from reading other people's symptoms (because I was then also subconsciously giving myself those symptoms).. but I feel I am able to come back now and hopefully pass on some comfort to others.

Your current situation is all too familiar to me. And I know you feel trapped now, but I promise you will not be trapped forever. I can't however comment on the family situation because I was lucky enough to have support of my family (previous family mental health issues enabled them to understand why I was acting the way I was).. therefore I recommend highly checking in on here as much as you can, because it will remind you that you are not alone!.. the only advice I can give you is to read up on symptoms of anxiety (especially health - which was also my main issue) reading up on symptoms can give you comfort every now in a while to remind you that what you are thinking/feeling is being conjured up in to a bigger situation purely by your thoughts.

I had countless trips to the doctors and A and E. I felt terrible taking up so much time and money when there was people with genuine health problems. But at the time I understand that you are genuinely feeling like your time on this earth has come to an end!

I am sorry that you are feeling like this, it is horrendous. But a good thing is, it can only get better.

Always remember- your mind is the strongest part of your body. Change the way it's using its strength from negative to positive.

Xx

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