Need advise

[sjdard]

Hi I'm suffering from anxiety and afraid to go outside on my own. I'm currently signed of work for the past 4 weeks. I don't no really when it start but it has been building up over a period of time. Let me give you a brief rundown on what I think has cause my problem. My health has been suffering for a while now, back in 2013 I went for a gastric sleeve operation, I got all the way to threatre just to have op cancel cos I have something wrong with my blood. A couple of weeks later I was told I have a rare blood condition called essential thrombocythmia (ET for short). It. A form of blood cancer but is treatable. I was put on a chemo drug to help reduce my platelet and I was able to go ahead with gastric sleeve op. I lost 5st but then the weight stop and I have put about 2st back on, this has disappointed me cos I don't really eat a lot. I think everybody around me are judging me cos I have not lost a lot of weight. And looking at me cos of this. So here my first problem. Next problem is I have problems down below, both front and back, I have had 2 ops for piles and anal fissures and the last one only a few weeks ago, since then I am so aware of not soiling myself as I never no when I need to go and when I do I need to go there and then, Also I'm leaking wee to so there again I aware even when I use pads I still feel people can smell me. I'm scared to go back to work as I'm on the checkout and not able to get of if I need to and recently I have had a couple of bad experiences with customers who have had a go at me. When I was at work I would be constantly shaking and trying to keep calm but I have had a couple of panic attached whilst on the checkout. I am having a telephone consultation with works occupational therapist tomorrow and don't no how to explain this all to her. Any advise on how to go about this would be appreciated. So to go on but any help with how I can get over this. Looking forward to any replys.

[valachia-t]

You will be ok. Take baby steps. Explain to the therapist just like you just did to the people on this cite. Relax you are not alone. Trust me. Keep telling yourself you will get through this, because you will, if you are willing, and believing.

[sjdard in reply to valachia-t]

I do so want to get through this, thank you for your reply.

[Cat33]

I am so sorry for your problems it must be very hard for you Do your employers know about your health problems It must be torture for you to be trapped on the checkout hopefully they could find you some other role where you have easy access with getting to a toilet

As for people looking at you for not losing enough weight don't even think about them or give them any attention

You have health problems you can't help any of this Tell the occupational therapist everything you have said on here I'm reading between the lines that somehow you are feeling guilty for having these problems None of this is your fault you need lots of kindness and you will get it The occupational therapist will have heard things like this before so tell her everything I hope you get the help you need and get well Take good care of yourself

[sjdard]

Thank you for you reply and the helpful tips, I no I can get through this.