Should I tell my recruitment agency? And should I go in tomorrow?

[Goth237]

I rarely get work because I am signed up to a recruitment agency and unless they call with something there's rarely any work going. I have suffered with anxiety and depression on and off for many years. On Tuesday evening I got a call saying that they had work for me for the rest of the week which was great because we've been struggling financially and we need the money. However, then the anxiety set in. I am bad at meeting new people and like to avoid it as much as possible. There were problems with the trains and I also got a bit lost so for my first day, the idea of being late had me in tears and miserable on the platform. but, I DID IT. I got through the first day. Fast-forward to today and I end up calling in sick because I feel so anxious and my fiance suggests that I give up on work, go to the doctors and instead focus on keeping the flat tidy. Now this may seem great, and in some ways it is. Having an understanding fiance is very helpful. But I feel like a complete failure as a person. I never imagined that I'd be so useless and not be able to work. I got an email from the recruiter asking if I'd be in tomorrow and I'm really not sure what to do. Should I go in? I feel as though I should but I know by tomorrow that I'll feel that horrible anxiety again. I just feel so down.

Also I was wondering if I should disclose to them my anxiety?

[Lynl]

First of all you are far from being a failure ! anxiety is not a form of failure ,it's a feeling we get ,& it's very tough to fight it I've had it for over 30 years. should you tell your work ?? no !! because you could be anybody you want to be , they don't know that you have anxiety ,so you could walk in there like the strongest woman in the world ! If you tell them you have anxiety you're already putting yourself in a certain spot and they will be looking for that anxiety which is going to make you even more anxious . It's awesome that you have a fiancé who says not to worry about it and stay at home , however you're giving into that anxiety instead of getting yourself out of your comfort zone and getting out there and beating this . I would say just do it take deep breath's on the way have a little talk with God on the way to work to get you through the day and is soon as you get home you're going to have a real accomplish feeling and you could take that deep breath and say I did it ! Try not to pre-talk yourself into anxiety for tomorrow , instead , get your clothes out ,and what you're gonna wear , and what make up you're going to put on , and how you're going to do your hair , and jewellery , and whatever it is that's going to take your mind off of negative feelings. Keep in touch and let us know how things go .. lynl

[FXP_OK in reply to Lynl]

I'd go alobf with that too. My counsellor told me, and it's something I try to live by, "take the smallest step in the right direction". To me that would be to go back to work tomorrow. Chin up...you can do it...xx