Help!! I am trying so so hard

I am trying so so hard. But this anxiety is beating me up.

This.is.hard

My pulse is so crazy one minute it's 112 the next it's 70 then it's 95. Wtf. You would think I have a arrthmia (however you spell it) but nope I call my doctor and explain my symptoms about my pulse and the nurse says"we've checked you out good it's your anxiety but if it doesn't ease up let us know"

Okay... if it doesn't "ease up" wtf why do y'all think I call you all the time. It HASNT "eased up". It's like I know I've had all these test and they say I'm fine but I just can't deal with this. I feel my heart beating so fast all the time.. im trying so hard to ignore it but I can't!!

I don't want to die and leave my kids & husband and then have them say "oh I guess it wasn't anxiety" 😰😰

I called my therapist and I'm gonna see him Monday... he's never helped.. but whatever at least I'll try again. I can't seem to find the root of all this. I have no problems at home etc. it's all the symptoms I'm getting that worrys me. Sorry for the long post. I'll shut up now. Rant over

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10 Replies

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  • Sunshine002,

    Sounds like you are having a really rough time. It never helps when you feel like your provider isn't efficiently dealing with the issue. Yes, anxiety can cause the symptoms you are expressing and it can especially make us fixate on anything negative going on in our body. I do hope you continue to advocate for yourself with your provider. You have the right, not to mention you deserve to be taken seriously. Since I am not a medical doctor, I will at least try to offer you some options that have worked for me in the past. I also suffer from chronic anxiety and can feel it through every fiber in my body almost always. Sometimes it can be impossible to ignore.

    Even though you state you have no problems at home, anxiety doesn't always manifest itself at the same time the problems occurs. How long have you had anxiety? What has been going on in your life over the last few years? Change of job? kids? loss? weddings?

    Try asking yourself what might be causing the anxiety, keep breaking down by asking why after each explaination you give. If you can find the root emotion, then you can identify it's polar opposite to strive for. An example would be recognizing that you are feeling fear, allows you to strive to achieve courage. There is an awesome book by David Hawkins called "Letting Go- the Pathway to Surrender." It is an awesome read. I know I got so much out of it. Other things to try are yoga, meditation, and self-hypnosis.

    Good luck and hange in there. You have people who care about you and want to help.

  • Thank you so much for your response. I've have this anxiety problem since around July. I grew up in a home where my parents were good parents but they did drugs.... my mom was a alcoholic. I have two little boys under 4 years old. I find myself striving to to not be like my mom a lot. I want her to come and see me and be proud of me but she always has some excuse not to come.. or I can tell she's taken too many pills etc. so maybe in a way she's a problem. I've also moved 4 times in the last 4 years but we've finally settled and bought a house that I love. My husband is great .. but I'm at stay at home mom and I'm home a lot with no real hobbies other than cleaning lol I'm only 25 feels like I should be out doing something. Idk hopefully i can sort all this out.

    Thanks again 😕

  • aww i do feel for you as i really got it bad this week and not going :(

  • I am feeling the same way and it sucks!

  • Glad I'm not alone. Yes it sucks so bad 😩 Hope you feel better soon

  • You are certainly not alone; so many people have anxiety; you need to find a hobbie for yourself; its hard raising kids and comes with its own stresses; think of anything you might like to try or something you used to do before you had kids.

  • Thank you. I'm gonna try 🙂

  • I can't believe it I've been waiting to hear someone else having the same feeling I felt like everyone thought I was medicine searching and was lying please keep in touch I know it's late and won't get this til tomorrow but for real please get back to me soon thanks

  • You're not alone. It sucks. 😞

  • First piece of advice; DO NOT CHECK YOUR PULSE. I have done this in the past and it only makes you feel more anxious; as you check your pulse you anxiety levels increase and so, you may find a slower pulse or a quicker pulse; and then you panick more; mistakenly i checked mine yesterday, the first time in a very long time; then ended up a bit more panicky; so im not gonna check it again. Try relaxation techinques; there is a breathing exersize where you breath in and at the same time push your stomach out; it may help doing this for a minute or so. If you can afford it, get a shiatsu massage on a regular basis. if you smoke, stop; im trying to quit but its the hardest thing to do in the world i am finding; really struggling, but im gonna keep trying; i have to. Medication can help sometimes; in reality for me, so far,only having a 5mg valium is really helping re instant relaxation; but these are not to be misused and are only given in minimal amounts. Im gonna start to exersize more; im hoping this will help; if you choose to do more exersize, do not check your pulse! Mmm, ive been having psychotherapy but its not really helping......i need to try mindfulness, this was highly recommended..... Try to ensure you get a good nights sleep, so no caffeine several hours before bed. There are also relaxation apps on mobiles; these are worth a try too. Its tough having anxiety disorder; but worth trying anything that might help it x

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